sunshinewithrain

while you are most likely to get pregnant in the middle of your menstrual cycle (when you ovulate), it's possible to become pregnant anytime at all.

i feel guilty for even posting here. i love my girlfriend with all my heart. she makes me so very happy. she's changed my life (for the better), and even saved it a few times. but sometimes, it feels like i do all the giving. i hold her, i hug her, and i touch her (sexually, or otherwise) when she wants it. once in a while, she gives back. sometimes she doesn't. it seems like i'm always doing the giving. sometimes, she asks, sometimes, i give (and hope she wants it). usually, she accepts it. and then she goes onto something else (or falls asleep, if we're in bed). i try to talk to her about it, and she gets upset. she ends up hating herself and calling herself a bad girlfriend. this only makes me feel worse and solves nothing. i'd just like her to touch me without me begging, or hold me. i'd like her to spend an entire night with me in her arms, instead of every night with her in mine. i LOVE holding her... i love making her feel good... but sometimes, i want to be held, i want to feel good. maybe i'm wrong... maybe i'm selfish... maybe i'm making a mountain out of a molehill... i don't know. sometimes, everything is wonderful, and sometimes, i end up feeling cheated. like i give, give, give and i get little back. it leaves an empty hole in my heart. it makes me want to cry. last year, i held her every night as we slept. i loved doing this, but i needed to be held myself. when i finally brought it up, she felt guilty and promised she'd be better about it. she wasn't. i brought it up months later, same thing. she has gotten a little better about it now... she does hold me for a while some nights. also last year, it seemed everytime we had sex, i pleasured her, and then she went to sleep claiming she was too tired, and she'd make up for it. the next time, same thing. about every forth time, i'd get something back. again, when i mentioned it, i got the same response. again, it's gotten a bit better but i still feel cheated. i guess, right now, it's the sexual things most of all. i love touching her, she loves me touching her. she'll ask me to. i will. and i get nothing back, except for when she wants to touch me... and never when i seem to be in the mood. but i'll force myself into the mood because, "at least she's touching me," i tell myself. but if i touch her and she's not in the mood, she'll push me away or something of the sort. which i can respect but... maybe i'm too much of a pushover? little things like coming up behind her, hugging her and kissing her neck... i do this often. she loves it. i love it. and i want her to do it to me sometimes... but she doesn't. it's things like that that seem to hurt the most. things just don't seem fair in some regards. is this something i should get over? something i should just accept? or...? i'm at a loss and i'm tired of feeling sick over this. any advice would be great, thanks. i hope this makes some sort of sense, as i've been awake way too long and got up from bed because of these things happening tonight. she's sleeping, i'm awake and upset.