idiotme

Dont panic, I know you're hurt and lonely and all you want is him back. But do you want him back when he will not give you 100%. As many others have said, when you begging, pleading, crying you only push them away. If you love him, let him figure out what he wants. As VI said, if you love him set him free. When you love someone, you're happy when he/she is happy. This is how love suppose to be, "I see him everyday from afar now and I get such a wonderful feeling when I see him laughing and smiling." (Vi) dont panic, give it time. He'll know what he is missing over time. When he knows what he is missing he'll be back with 120% for you. Take care

CustomX I also dated my ex for 5 years and she breaked up with me because of her new good feelings. First 2 weeks after the break up, I dont want to live either, I actually consummed 7 tylenols at the night she broke up with me and couldnt sleep for 3 days (Almost lose my career over this.) The best way to deal with this, for me, is think all you want, talk about it with friends and family until you're sick of talking and thinking about it. When you try to forget, you will always have thoughts of her. Thinking with your head, dying thoughts, will not solve heart problems. The only way to heal the heart is time. Hang it ther CustomX, just give it another month, and you'll be in less pain. To be honest, the pain still have not gone away for me, but it is getting easier after 2 months and 7 days. As you can tell I am still thinking about her and the days she broke up with me. reading Prayer of Saint Francis really help me to overcome my ending life thoughts: "....When you give, you're already being receive, When you love, you're already being love...." I know you will overcome this, be patient, time will solves it all!! Take care of yourself!

Hi bubbamackdaddy69 I really have empathy for you, i am going through the same situation. I have negotiated with my ex that we should not talk anymore because she already have feelings for someone else and it's not fair for him. She called me almost everyday. I told her not to call, but after 3 days of no communication, she left me voice messages on my work phone said she misses me. It's ironic that she is the one that breaked up with me and adament about trying her new feelings with another guy for just 3 mons that she met in London. We dated for 5 years. I am very bad as advice, all i can tell you is just hang in there, don't talk too much. If she calls then talk, don't call her. I tried not to contact her for 3 days, and after 3 days she missed me so much and asked me that if I can wait for her to come back. She said she leave this time to resolve some unfinish issues and she'll be back(she have to leave London for 8 mons to help her dad, the guy broke us apart also in London). Hope my little story will help. I am so confused. We're all confused, but we have to be independent emotionally!! Yep, you're not alone, hope this help

I think the thoughts and feelings toward a person you loved will never go away. However, time will eventually suppress those thoughts and feelings. As for myself, I realize the more i try to get rid of them the more i think of them. But when i say to myself, if you loved someone with all your heart and soul you're already being loved, it feels much better. That's my experience.

jaded4life, I wish i can express my emotions in words like yours, very well written. I have total empathy on your situation. I tried so hard to move on, going out with friends, playing basketball ..... However, the more I spend doing the things that I like the more I am thinking of the person that causes me so much pain. These happy memories now become more pain than happiness. We have no choice but to face reality now. Lots of people here have been in the same situation and they believed that they can successfully move on to find a better life. You and I also need to believe that too. As long as you believe in love you will find love again. Just sharing my feelings and thoughts, hope it helps.

Thanks everyone for replying! It means alot to me I know that, I still love and forgive whatever she did or will do. I am kinda confuse because she always mention, email or leave a phone message, "You will always have a place in my heart, and I will never never forget what you have done for me, but I have to try this." Why did she asked me that is there anyway we'll be together again, after she lied and cheated on me. I actually did consider to go to London next summer to visit her, but if i ever go, i'll be so hurt to see her with another person, plus i dont want to be a third wheel. Because I know how it feels like to be hurt by a third person. She also told me that whatever I decide, like not talking to her forever, she'll have to respect that. I have gone as far as cancel my email account, but she begged me said if ever happens, she wants to maintain that email account because it meant alot to her. Right now she is still home, have not leave yet, she have asked me to come to the airport for the last time. Because everytime she leaves for school or London I always took her and she cries and kiss me eveytime she go. I asked her why do you do this, she said, she has to leave to help her dad and there she is too weak to fight her feelings, and plus she really wants to try this new "feelings" out. Hopefully, she'll be happy for what is going to do! I will give her all the chances, but right now she give me no choice.

College does not change who you are, I have been through this we survive college without much thoughts of separation or being together. however if a person changed they will change, mine change after college. She broke up with me after after 1 year of graduating from college over a feeling that someone told her she is beautiful.

I just found out about this site last week, and it is really helping me! Me and my girlfriend broke up almost 2 months ago. We have been together for 5 years and 2 years as best friend in high school. The first 4 years we are 500 miles apart because of college reason, but we managed to see each other almost every month and also the summer together. After she finished her degree, she decided to go to London to help her dad with his new restaurant. She came back for my birthday after 3 months in London, coincidentally i found this text message on her phone after playing around with it for a while, said "I Miss you." I jokingly asked her about the message, she said it was from a waiter that like her while working there. She said she talked to him a lot too because she is lonely and he reminds her of me. She said he told her she is beautiful, and she said it felt good and different. She said, the guy told her if she give him a chance he'll take it right away. I was totally in shock and hurt!!!but she apologized about it ! Then she had to leave again (After promised that she never leave again.) She left for another 3 months and came back to study for the GRE. This time she came home she acted like i was a stranger, I asked her what's going on, she said "Can we just be friends? I need a pause." That just kill me but i can't do anything except give her time. So I gave her time. However I found out one day that there is a phone call everyday at around 5-7 am in the morning from London(44 country code). My friend (which is her friend too) can't see me like half dead half alive, so he ask her to go see me at the park (I was unable to drive because was too hurt by this). I met, finally, she said it is not fair for me if she ask me to wait any longer, she have had feeling for this person, so it's best for us to be a apart now. I felt as if the world have had crashed on me. She cries day and night now, and ask me " can we be best of the best of the best" friend. She called me almost everyday but I dont pick up the phone, she emailed me every other day to tell me about her days. We talked one time, and she asked " Is it possible that we can be back with each other someday?" I said I dont know. She said she still loves me but she has to try this "new feeling" out, and she feel guilty to be with me if her heart is not 110% for me! She said she has to leave again for 8 months to help her dad with the restaurant and the distant is really geting on to her. She will leave in decemeber. After 5 years, I have been there every step of her life, sacrificing every Christmas being with her, so she can spend christmas with her family in London so she can be happy. Graduating 1 year early so I can work and have enough money to buy her a car when she came home from London. So i bought her a car, she was really excited when she saw it. She have told me, I have been the only family she have in the US. She hated London, but the only reason she is there is to help her dad. All of the hard time of no money for tuition I lend her the money. How can a person throw everything away for just a feeling? Our friends, her best friend, everything. What should I do now? She wants to see me, she wants to know how i am doing, she cries every single time she see me. She still call and write email even though I never respond. She said she will always be there for me if I ever needed her, and after all i mean alot alot to her. Every email she said she really miss talking to me and ending with "Thinking about you" She said she has to do this and there is one thing she cannot tell me until she come back again because she have hurted me too much already. She said she has to back here for school and work after the restaurant is settled. Is she really confused? or she just want to try something new since she never had a person beside me? She said she is really scared of being "in the box." What should I do? Still letting her talk to me, but it hurts so much to think she is with a new person. Should I avoid all contacts like many of the advice given here? After 2 months but I still cannot sleep right or eat right, I have been fighting with myself for 2 months, I am really tired and almost quit my job over this. All your opinions are really appriciated! Thanks for reading this long whiny love problem!