johnh1984

All the stories in here give me hope for myself. To be strong and not give in to temptation and that longing. Here is my story and advice or comments would be greatly appreciated. We broke up around the end of August 2011 she left me. The reasons being were not being supportive, drinking, drugs, and finally the worst one of all was when she got an abortion and I told her off when she needed my help. I was in a different state of mind as I did not want to get the abortion and she did it anyways and it tore me inside. I almost went of the deep end by killing myself because of drugs. We had ups and downs yet always managed to say we loved each other and would be together forever. I did my part in the end and so did she. Immediately after the break up she found someone new and stays at his house all the time. She has never been one to deal with her emotions and be alone. When we met it was love at first sight, what I didnt know she was on anti-deps, aderal, seizure medications and some other things. She was very emmotional and I dealt with it the best I could. Over our time together she stopped taking all those medications. Long story short around mid September I asked her out on a date, she agreed. Remember she is still with this other guy. We went out but then the feelings came back to her she started to cry and blame me for everything. So i took it and just sat there. We hung out the next day at my house we watched a movie I started to become needy. Bad in my part. She slept over nothing sexual. A couple days later she told me she missed me, we still said I love you and so on. One night at 2 am I get a call and she says Im coming over. I said ok. In the morning I got her Jamba Juice and everything was fine. Later that night she went to my house and waited for me. Then she called me and said "I cant do this" and left. We would text randomly and everything seemed fine, till I started to pressure her on choosing. One Friday we went out and I told her I couldn't do this as it wasn't fair for anyone involved - What I meant by that was it wasn't fair for me, her, and the other guy. We decided to not see each other. Than the next Tuesday she called me and said if I could change her taillight and I said sure. We never got together after that as I told her no more. Last Friday we talked and decided we weren't going to communicate anymore - but she said text anymore. I said fine I will no longer contact you. She said I never said not talk but if that's what you want. Today Oct 10th after we decided not to talk she emailed me "Hope this makes you laugh" it was some joke she sent me. I have made a lot of changes since she left I joined AA, see a Homeopathic doctor, therapist and turned my world completely around to be a better person for her and myself. I have no idea if no contact is the way to go and I need advice. Sorry if the story jumps around a bit. I just do not understand she says no more but then sends me an email. Thanks. Sorry forgot. She said stuff like "I know will be together in the end, I love you, I miss you, I want babies with you, I still wear my engagement ring when hes not around." She split up with me. I don't understand what any of this means, I know shes confused and hurt. She stopped telling me this on Friday but she did contact me like I said via email today. I never replied, I usually do.