oO pd Oo

After loving you with everything I had. After hitting asbolute rock bottom after you left. After thinking about you every single day. After torturing myself with all those thoughts/looking for answers/trying to make sense of it After hurting like I've never hurt before. After feeling the pain begin to dull and dissipate. After knowing deep in my heart that I still love you and still care about you--even now. After wanting you to be happy (even without me). After all of that... I wasn't ready to say this until now. Goodbye.

All I asked from you at the very beginning was 1 thing and one thing alone. I asked you to be open and honest... no matter how bad you thought it was going to be. Of course, you couldn't do it. You see, when you open your heart to someone else... that means you leave yourself vulnerable/exposed. That's why I asked for your openness and honesty... to mitigate the exposure. You are not as mature as either one of us thought. Your communication skills... well... they are sub-par. You are clearly not ready to be in a relationship. I don't fault you for any of these things. But I do fault you for not giving me the one thing I asked for and the one thing you agreed to. Even now... even after the fact, you can't be open and honest. That's what hurts the most. I was very happy before we were together. I think my happiness is what attracted you to me--I had something you wanted. I fell in love with you and, for the second time in my life, I saw the imperfect person perfectly. You brought your baggage and unhappiness into a relationship with me (I did not know it was there for awhile... and... yes... it's pretty severe). In the end, you ran and I'm stuck dealing with the unhappiness... almost as if it transferred from you to me. At this point, I'm curious as to how many hearts you have broken. You are not ready to be in a relationship until you stop seeing yourself as damaged goods (this part alone breaks my heart). I want you to know that this time... this time an amazing guy got hurt (and hurt badly). Not an * * * * * * * . Not a Dbag. Not someone who treated you like dirt. Not even just your run of the mill good guy... but a great one. All I want now is to be over you so I can get back out there.