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Everything posted by PJM

  1. Thank you every one for your input . Appreciate it . Gave me some perspective of what I was doing with out being aware . Thank you again
  2. Yes Lambert , Although it’s harsh needed to hear this . Yes I think that’s it . Focus on myself is the goal . Thank you
  3. Yes Wiseman2 , I agree , it’s a big learning lesson . Thank you for bringing it to my awareness . Thank you 🙏
  4. Yes totally agree with that . Yes a lesson learned . Thank you
  5. Yes Billie , I totally agree with word to word what you said . Although it is harsh , I needed to hear that . About my second marraige , it was empty , no love and emotionally abusive .I stayed in that state for 5 yrs , That is the reason I drifted to wards my co worker . The reason to mention they were abusive was not to get sympathy , but I wanted to be transparent. But I get it . I am not perfect myself . If any marraige ends even if it was abusive , you also have your faults and must have contributed to it . Yes my relation with my ( co worker ) was not at all healthy , I
  6. Actually I shared about my mom stuff on 7 th or 8 th date . I only shared the intimacy being sacred on the 3 th date . Oh well it’s a learning lesson .
  7. . I started dating a man in August , the first 2 dates were amazing , very romantic , third date we went to watch the sun set and then he took me to his house . There I was very transparent with him and shared every thing about my past relationships ( have been in 2 abusive marraiges ) also my last relationship was not a relationship that I was manipulated by a coworker ( saying he wanted a relationship which after that just became more kind of using for sex and he basically said we were just FWB ? I left that job and stared BTO and some inner work . Also I told him that I always had to lo
  8. Yes that is what I have decided. Thank you for responding.
  9. Hello , I did not send this message today . It was a week ago. I am “ LEAVING HIM ALONE “ right now . It’s been over a week . Thanks for the reply any way .
  10. Yes will do . Already on no contact phase . Thank you
  11. (We can talk but on a professional level. Advice is always ok” ) This was from my now ex ( we work together) to which my reply was : ....You know I have been thinking about the damage I have caused and your supervisors advice to stay away and be professional. I think it’s best for me not to approach you for any advice too ... that way it will be only professional . And I will stay out of your way completely. Hopefully I can find some thing else and you don’t have to see me any more . Hopefully that happens soon . Than you can work in peace . Just praying for that-- I can always get a
  12. Also yesterday, I texted him after some of his texts if he is working today. Did not reply for that. Tomorrow is Eid , initially I thought of wishing him , but now wondering if I shoulder not. Please advice me . "Thanks "
  13. Texts like “ You look good “ “ Have you lost weight “ if you have lost than please keep on loosing “ “ nice walk “ stuff like that ... How does it matter to him if I loose weight or not . Before Ramadan started he used to text me “ I feel jealous that he is looking at you “ . It reduced a lot after Ramadan started but still these texts are confusing me
  14. You know some times a girl can put you in the friend zone for different reasons. ( personal stuff going on) Yes I agrees if I was very much intrested in you then I would respond immediately even if I was extremely busy at work . But since she did talk again , may be she wants to keep it open. I would not stalk her or push her but , there is nothing wrong in asking her to hang out and starting things fresh. Yes you seem to like her a lot more than her , may be she is not in a space to give the attention you need but I don't see any wrong putting things out there and start fresh as a friend and
  15. Please don't accuse if you are not clear of what happened. " I " did not pass these rumors. I happened to ask about him to one of my colleague trusting her ( she has been there for 3 yrs )and she spread it behind my back. Also told me that she saw a him giving a " hug" to one of this other girl and put a seed of doubt in me . That is why I started "digging more " ( again my fault) and every thing went down hill. And why do you say that he just wants " sex" ? We were emotionally connected too very strongly . And expressed to me that he deeply cared and was invested but this work situation and
  16. I appreciate your reply. Well I don't think he really dated her but any ways does not matter. Past is past. Yes may be you are right and does not seem to rekindle this . I haven't initiated any contact but what is confusing me is when he sees me in Cafeteria , he comes very close and talks . Also my communication with him is only professional . We have to work together , but some times I get some flirty texts and looks from him so I am confused . I am still attached to him but working on myself to " completely leave him alone" and may be finding another job as its too painful for me right
  17. Long story short: Please don't associate this message with earlier post I posted. I had understood it wrong earlier. Bottom line, did a big mistake by involving work with relationship which got escalated to his supervisors, which he is still pissed. Last time I asked if we could have an honest face to face conversation, ( we haven't really spoken one on one as he is observing ramadan ) this is message I got from : saying the situation is still "volatile" This is the message I got from my bf: " said it’s volatile as if you remember my supervisors called me about all this - they advise
  18. To be honest, no he dated only one woman long time ago. Yes I am taking a break from seeing him , I happened to talk to another girl who used to be his platonic friend.
  19. Hello Every one, If you have dating with someone at work , and of course I started digging more about him at work , which I think made him uncomfortable, and he is now rejecting my instigram request. Is he doing that because we are professionals at same place ( I am at a higher level) or has he lost interest in me? Right now our relationship is very casual as I asked some space to work in my personal stuff. My gut tells me he still likes me a lot but it hurts that he is not accepting my invitation. Thank you.
  20. Thank you very much for the advice Rose .Makes more sense. Will be mindful of keeping the work and personal life separated. There are many insecure people at work and this place is a big gossip hub, and of course every thing got blew out of proportion and pissed him off. Any ways its behind now. Learnt my lesson. Right now I am focusing on my spiritual healing. The only doubts I had about him is that he worked in that place for lots of years and I am pretty new. Heard a rumor that he had dated couple of people before and hurt them ...don't know how true that is either , he did confirm that he
  21. FYI I would have filed for separation and divorce regardless of this person being in my life .
  22. Hello Friends, Briefly, I was in love less & sexless marriage for more than 5 yrs . I was very focused on building a career and finally settling very well in my present job. I was very attracted to man at work and our glance met and there was a connection , he felt it and I felt it. After that I let it go as I thought he is a good looking man might be having beautiful wife or girlfriend and left it like that. Then when I one day he came to be and said something does not look right with you , here is my number and you are free to call me any time.( He is a law enforcement officer and I
  23. No I am legally separated. I have documentation. Yes I understand that I need space for healing, space to reflect on to what happened ... etc . Yes I have taken a break now. We were talking and he was supporting me through this process , then it was my fault that I wanted to digg more into his reputation in case in future there could be relationship. I very well understand that i am not in a place to have any relationship.
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