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About Paranu

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  1. Just want to say that that was the only time money was lent. We don’t expect to ever see that money repaid but can’t believe that someone can act in this way. The problem is my mum, it’s not easy to cut her off. She’s frail and vulnerable. We have told her countless times if you let him do this to you then expect the insults because you make it to easy for him. I’m not a mother, is it that easy to set boundaries with your children? She certainly knows which one bullies her but can never disown them
  2. No, I don't live with my mother but she is the 1st to call me when he has upset her. I guess this what you call unconditional motherly love, she can never hate him the way we all hate him and distance ourselves from him. She always finds a way to forgive and forget.
  3. My older brother has always been used to getting his way. When he was a kid he'd ask my dad for the latest Nike trainers and sports gear and my dad would willingly buy it for him. Same with doing his masters, they paid for it. When he needed money to buy his 1st house my mum and dad gave their hard-earned savings to help him to use as a deposit. Whilst earning and living at my parents, he never contributed to rent/bills, he had saved his own money knowing one day he would use it to move out. Well, he lost his 1st home, a job and had a mid-life crisis. It was one pretty year for him. H
  4. Thats exactly what I've done over the years. I will get messages from her wanting to do something in the weekend, play sports or even go on holiday. I just say I am busy with other things because I know I have to maintain that distance. I just know that whenever we have a small argument it's her always rehashing the same old crap and to not do anything when your mum comes over all emotional is hard to do. She doesn't have many years to live, she's been through enough as it is and its only right that she enjoys her old age happy and stress free.
  5. Thank you, I've learnt to get less and less involved in her matters but when I see my mother hurt I just have to say something and I always get attacked.
  6. My sister has said so much nasty stuff to me over the years and over time it has degraded our relationship. So much so that I can barely say a word to her these days. We use to be close. She moved abroad years ago wanting to seek new opportunities and all I've ever done is update her on dad's situation (he was very ill and it was tough on our mum). Every time we have an argument she brings up that I get in touch because I was jealous of her new life which is not true. I was happy with the life I had and its expected in my culture that the older children be there to support their parent
  7. I even told him I’d prefer it if he sat opposite me. He totally ignored that.
  8. So I should have mentioned here. I did tell him I am a bit of a shy person and I thought it was a bit too much. Then he said that he doesn’t believe in dating etiquettes. He was actually asking me how he should act???
  9. I’m a bit of an introvert so I know I can be standoffish with barriers. We messaged a couple of times online and decided to meet. This guy instantly sat too close to me for my liking. Every time we would talk he would try to put his hand on my arm or shoulder. He talked about body fat and started to take my arm and pinch for fat all the way up. He was trying to be playful and flirty I could tell but it didn’t sit well with me. Next he tried to touch my stomach. He told my I was very pretty about 3x. He played with my straw and drunk out of it and really wanted me to try his drink. Then he’d go
  10. Don’t think I’m playing the victim. My mum begged me to help. Everything I did was because my mum asked me to help her. I’ve told her not to interfere any more. My relationship with my other sibling is nothing like this one. We treat each other with respect. In fact the rest of the family thinks she’s a crazy . She’s had fights with each of them. I see each one of them turning away from her when they have arguments. I’m annoyed that she thinks she will always win a fight by being the loudest. Honestly if we were on a talk show I would be so embarassed to say I’m even related to her.
  11. She knows how to get to me. I’ve gone to the extreme of blocking her from my iPhone so that she cannot continue sending me hate messages.
  12. We were close once. She moved to HK because she wanted to get away and appear to her friends like she is living the life, travelling abroad, work abroad etc. She’s unmarried and most of her friends are in relationships/married. I’ve never lived abroad and I remember one time she said. You should live abroad, if you are unmarried you might as well change your life in a way. I couldn’t do it. I just moved to a great company and things were going well even if I couldn’t find someone to be with. When my sister came back I felt things changed. She became immature and irrational. In most of my argu
  13. I’ve suggested we go for movies, concerts board games To talk about something other than how men are. She only wants to meet over coffee.
  14. Hanging out for coffee. Well I have friends who I can hang out for coffee and kill time and it’s always fun as we have a laugh. This friend leaves me drained if I’m going there honest. I feel I need to lighten up the mood. Make her laugh with my bad dates and cheer her up...
  15. Here’s how I see it. She only wants to tell me how miserable she’s feeling because she can’t tell her other friends who are married and in relationships. She told me I’m the only person she can’t talk to. I’ve never had a relationship so I can’t mock her. I’m someone who also gets depressed about the situation but I don’t feel the need to tell people this. She would send me messages about how sad she’s feeling this morning whereas I’m one track minded, focusing on my job and nothing else. When I’m home that’s time for me to feel disappointed but I won’t message her that. Also she will rely on
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