tutu79

Has anyone heard of the law of attraction (that your thoughts and feelings basically create your reality) ? I recently read on article on it and was just curious if anyone else knew anything about it. It basically states that thoughts you pay attention to become your reality and supposedly there is scientific proof (it has something to do with each individual's energy. Any thoughts?

The one thing I really hate about the fact that I tried to contact him was that I genuinely just wanted to see how he was doing. He was a big part of my life for a long time and I haven't spoke to him in a long time--yet-- He probably thinks that I called because I am still upset about him like I was when we first broke up which is not the case anymore and I HATE THAT! Even though he is almost 32yrs old, this is the immature way he thinks. I always thought that if we were meant to be together we would find our way back to each other but now I know once and for all, that we weren't.[/b]

All I have to say is ....you are absolutely right!

Well I just tried to contact my ex after eight months of no contact, just to say hi and to see how he is doing (I had been thinking whether I should or not for a few weeks). Now I feel like a complete idiot. I called his cell and he didn't answer so I could just picture him seeing my number on the caller id and not picking up purposely ( I did not leave a message). The funny thing is he was the one who was a complete jerk in the end so I don't even know why I bothered. So for once and for all I am sick of constantly pining for someone who could care less about me. I just hope I don't run into him or his friends anytime soon. I feel like a jerk but I would have constantly wondered "what if" if I didn't call so now I know.

I was always hoping that he would eventually contact me but I think I am going to call him- I know he'll be very surprised- I just don't know if that will be in a good way or if he'll be thinking "what does she want?" But like you said I will never know unless I take the chance!

If you are going to contact her, I think you should do it by phone also. Say you e-mail her and she doesn't have the same address. If she didn't respond you would never know if it was because she didn't get it or if she did get it and just didn't respond because she has moved on! Good Luck!

I left him because he didn't want to put any effort in the relationship but he knew I was very upset about the whole situation

Just want anyone's honest opinion on contacting my ex. Just a brief summary of what happened. We were in a serious relationship for about 1 year and a half. We broke up because we really didn't have that much time to spend together and I think he was afraid of the next step. It has been almost a year since we broke up. However, even though we live 25 miles apart in a big city, I have run into him at least once a month (sometimes even more) since then. We really haven't talked when we see each other because it is obvious there is still strong feelings between the two of us and it was just awkward having small talk with so many people surrounding us. The one attempt he did make to try to talk, I think he felt rejected because I had just walked into the place where I was meeting people and they came up to me the same time he did, so when I didn't say more than hi he walked away. I recently saw his friends out and two of them kept on telling me that they told my ex many times that he should have married me. The times I have seen him out lately he looks like he is lonely but trying to play the role. After a long time (and help from this forum) I moved on and have been dating other people who have all been complete gentlemen but I always have thought in my heart that I was going to end up with my ex. At the end of our relationship, I knew we both needed time to breathe but I didn't think it was going to be this long! My question is- would it be crazy for me to contact him just to say hi? I can't use the excuse that I haven't seen him in awhile and was thinking of him because I have seen him! He is 31 years old and very stubborn so I think that even if he did want to contact me, he wouldn't because he has a big ego when it comes to things like that. So should I just leave it alone and close the door completely or call him? Be very honest!!!!

Just out of curiosity- How many of you believe in self-fulfilling prophecies? That if you believe or are confident that something is going to happen- than it will. I used to be a firm believer in this but I'm not so sure anymore. Any thoughts?

Why I am even bother writing again about my ex, I don't know, but as much as I try to pretend it doesn't bother me- it does. The thing is- I have run into him several times lately. The only reason I think it is odd that I have seen him is we live in a big city about a half an hour from each other. Two weeks ago I ran into him in a hotel on the Jersey Shore (which is 3 hours from us) we were cordial said hi and that was it. I ended up seeing some of his friends later on that night and they were extremely friendly (much more than he was). The following weekend back by home, I ended up having a table right accross from him in a new restaurant that just opened (we were both w/ friends). He comes up to me and hugs me hello. I think he was expecting me to be extremely happy but I was nice but stand-offish. The thing is when we broke up I was willing to work things out but if it wasn't convenient for him, he couldn't be bothered. He is in his early 30's and me in my mid 20's and he had told me several times during our relationship that this was the first mature, serious relationship he has had. To make a very long story short...he was used to being a player...our relationship threw him for a loop because he wasn't used to it (according to him), and after he knew he had me he went back to his old ways and expected me to be the little "wifey" at home which is not what I wanted. The thing is since we broke up, the times I have seen him out he acted like we were just aquaintances (even as recent as me seeing him on the Jersey Shore), then this time at the restaurant I would catch him just staring, and when he left he came over to me touched my face and walked away. Later, some of his friends that were still there came up to me and said hi and told me that they would always tell "him" that I was their favorite. My question is do you think this is happening for a reason? I have moved on, well sort of, I have been seeing a new guy for three months now, and although I like him- the passion is definitely missing on my part. It's definitely true when they say the person you date after your ex is usually the opposite! Am I analyzing everything too much? It's just annoying that everytime my scar starts to be faded, something happens to make me wonder again.... Do I just have some sort of bad karma that I keep on bumping into him?

For those of you going through the long, hard process of mending a broken heart.... Read each one carefully and Think about it for a second or two. 1. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry. 2. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all you have. 3. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them. 4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches ur heart. 5. Don't waste your time on a man/woman who isn't willing to waste their time on you. 6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. 7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 8. Maybe God wants us o meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. 9. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 10. There are always going to be people who hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust the next time around. 11. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect then to know you. 12. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON!!! Like many of you who read this forum, I had my heartbroken for the first (and hopefully only time) last summer. It takes awhile to get over the hurt but if you are having a weak moment, just sit and think to yourself "Was he/she really that great?" I always made the mistake of missing the kind of person I fell in love with in the beginning, not the person who he became the last six months of our relationship which was someone who made me cry more than he made me happy. Hope this helps and good luck!

Why is it that guys tend to have a delayed reaction to things such as breakups? From my own experience and through friends, the girls usually deal with the pain right away by being upset, crying,etc. while the guys go about their business and then six months down the line it hits them? One of my best friends always says that guys must have radar because as soon as you are over them, they come back. It is almost like they sense it- even if you haven't seen or spoke to them for a long time. Just curious- how many of you find the phrase "If you love someone let them go, if they return they are yours.." to be true in their own experiences? Especially during the holidays??

I have to say, I am happy that I found this website. It made me realize that I am not the only one going through the long, hard process of getting over a heartbreak. It's been almost four months and it's still a day to day process. We were together for a year and a half. The first year was perfect. No fighting, spent all free time together, etc. When we first met, he came on to me like a thousand bricks and wanted to get serious right away. Constantly talking about getting engaged and stuff like that. He is a few years older than me so I figured he was ready and I thought I was to. However, the last few months, the tables slowly turned. He wanted to go out with his friends more and basically just took me for granted. It was like he wanted a girlfriend when he was in the mood for one. After months of tears and fighting, it came down to either having the relationship the way he wanted it or me leaving. I left with the false hope that he would realize that he wasn't treating me good, so when he didn't it was a slap in the face. After we first broke up, he would call and say that he loved me and that I'm his heart and he wants to work things out, then I wouldn't hear from him for a week and when I would call he wouldn't return my phone calls for days. We finally had no contact for over a month. (He knew how hurt I was so I guess it was a good thing) Then the day before his birthday, I wake up to have three missed calls and a message from him reminding me that it was his b-day the next day and maybe he could get a b-day phone call from me. Like an idiot, I called and he told me he missed me, that I was a class act, he never had a girl care about him like I did, etc. and that sometimes its better to get these things out of the way in the beginning of relationships. We left off as "keep in touch with me." This was two months ago and I have ran into him several times out at crowded places. We either say a quick hi and keep on moving or pretend we don't see each other. I've dated other people since but realized I really wasn't ready to until I finally get over my old relationship. The thing that still (i don't know why) makes me upset is how heartbroken I was and how he just didn't care. I'm still looking for some kind of redemption like knowing that he regrets it or he gave up a good thing. However, I am (finally) coming to the realization that it will never happen. Why do guys give up good girls that care about them to be with random one night stands (which I'm sure he is doing now)? Do you think he will ever regret it? Sorry this is so long.