East4

I think that people here are very quick to judge OP's GF, forgetting that we only know his side of the story. I also noticed that OP consistently avoids WM's suggestion that OP has been camping at his GF's house every single weekend. But he very willingly builds upon every single comment alluding that his GF is a nut job. To be honest if I work Mo-Fri and then my BF comes to my house Fri night through Sun evening,I would definitively feel smothered and snappy. I would also feel resentful that he eats on my dime. It is not for a first time that people come to the forum to obtain validation that they have been wronged by their SO, conveniently ommiting part of the facts. The forum users normally just map their personal experiences on to the situation at hand, instead of trying to be objective and rational.

OP, do you always go to your GF's house? Perhaps she is fed up with hosting you at her house every weekend, feeding you and paying higher utility bills because of you. Perhaps she is growing resentful if you overstayed your welcome. Have you thought about that? Are you contributing financially to the weekends, or you profit from her hospitality?

I have had a "situational" tinnitus after a night out in a club with loud music. For the last several years I've been taking Magnesium with vitamin B6 and noticed that the tinnitus has completely disappeared, also confirmed by an acustic test. I've been reading that post covid long term consequences that the nerves' ends get damaged by covid. Tinnitus is actually a defficient transmission between the nerves in the inner ear and the brain, hence the 'whistling' sound. Magnesium, also zinc, vitamin A and C; but especially the Magnesium reinforces the nerves and the muscles, this is why it is recommended as anti stress/anxiety and heavy physical strain relief. The normal diet only supplies 50% of the magnesium the body needs, so unless additional quantities are taken, most people are magnesium-deprived. It worked for me, but it took a long time (years) until the tinnitus disappeared. I also avoid loud noise of any kind. Tinnitus can be really annoying. Wish you good luck with the cure.

If you fantasise about other people/relationship, in the general sense it means something is missing in your relationship with your husband. But from what you wrote, there is nothing to be missed about your ex. Considering the length of the relationship with your ex, 8 years, and the fact that it was pretty traumatic, it takes a longer time to "clean" yourself from it, before being ready for something new. In this case two years does not seem like a long time. Your ex is getting married, this may be something that stirs your emotions. But it is useless, because now you are married, with children. My advice would be to honestly look at what might be missing in your relationship with your husband. You said he was a great dad, but how is he towards you, as a woman?

What it could have been if you had satyed with your ex? More of the same: non-consensual sex, name calling and abuse. Why would you miss that? You did well to severe ties with your ex, but you made a mistake to marry your rebound after him. It seems to me that your current husband was your rebound after the demise of your abusive relationship. Now you have two children and a good husband. You are a lucky woman. It would be helpful to explorer your longing for an unhealthy relationship with a therapist. From where I stand and based on what you wrote, it is hard to understand that you might feel unfulfilled with a good husband and 2 children. Many women would love to have that, and you should cherish what you have.

The FWB thinks of you as a sex object, not e human. He advertised your qualities to his buddy, as if he is selling his motorbike. His behaviour is disgusting and insulting. Most probably it is barter deal: your FWB exchanges you as an object for something he wants from the other idiot. The creten said he does it because he "loves you", because he knows women are suckers for these type of "declarations". Does that sound normal to you "Honey I love you, therefore could you please give sex to my buddy?" You should be cutting and blocking both idiots and go get an STD check. Would would you allow to be treated so disgustingly?

Yes, many dates and no relationships, exactly because of the things you are doing, it is rampant: people expect instant gratification. And if they do not get that gratification quickly (for men this is sex, physical contact), they move to where they can get their itch scratched; not realising that they miss an opportunity to build on solid foundation if they chose to be patient; people like you go on dates, not because they look for a meaningful encounter, but to assuage their insecurities. Like you went out on a date with a different girl, not because you liked her, but to assuage your insecurity, because the smart girl is blowing you off. You are insecure and you used the other girl for validation. This is why relationships have become rare.

Yes, I did read everything, including your previous thread 3 years ago, when you wrote that you were 25. The other stuff is what you yourself wrote in thread title several years back. So, either then or now you were lieing about your age. What amuzes is me is how you are trying to make it look like your lie is somebody else's fault, that it does not matter, that I didn't read the thread, etc. Hilarious how liers act when they get caught in their lies. 🙂 As for the young lady, you are asking a questions about, she most probably identified that you are not an upstanding individual (lies, pushing for physical contact), so she has her guard up.

So, how old are you finally? Most probably she feels creeped out by a signifficantly older dude trying to get in her pants. On the other hand, she enjoys the attention dnd the fact that she got an older guy wrapped around her finger. The player got played. 🙂

Self-flagellation serves no purpose. Making mistakes is part of our human nature and the rectification of mistakes makes us grow as human beings. You made a mistake with this married guy, because you formed an emotional attachment with him. This is human. Finally you had the strength to sever ties with him, and this is good. Overall, you grew as a person from this experience. While growth feels unplesant while it is happening, few years from now, when confronted with a temptation, you will know better and act better. And then you will be thankful of the difficult experience you had. It is time to quit agonising about the past, that was a lesson; your boyfriend needs not to know about your lesson, it is part of your secret garden. Enjoy the relationship with your boyfriend, and please be more accepting of your past mistakes. You corrected it, this is what matters. You need not continue blaming yourself.

The Chinese New Year took place yesterday, the 1 February, it is one of the most important celebrations in their calendar. Buy a small, but maningful gift, or bake a cake, or something, and ask the Chinese builder to meet for a short meeting to present him with the gift. At the meeting kindly request an appointment with him and the welder to inspect the structure, citing as a reason that you were informed by the local administration that the shed structure needs certification. So before the certification, you need one final check by the welder and the builder. As you came with a gift and a nice smile, the builder will not turn you down. Then, durig the inspection with the welder presentn you can point to the welding scar and ask question why it looks so bloaty and black. Hear what they have to say. Most certainly, if indeed there is a mistake, it was not done on purpose by the builder. Given the very low daily rate that you paid to the welder and the hot weather, he might have been tempted to finish the work quickly and prioritised time, over quality.

good luck with the date please let us know after if 30 min were too long, or too short 🙂

If I may, just a friendly advice: next time do not ask him, or any other man on a first date, to clarify. It shows insecurity on your side. And he does not owe an explanation to a woman he has never met. You may demand an explanation to your boyfriend, or husband, but not to a man you are going to meet for a first time, as to why he would like to keep the date short. Too heavy as a start. And most probably, his excuse is just a BS anyway.

well, OP you kind of put him on the spot with the question about what time your ride should pick you up. If he said 5 hours, you wouldn't be happy with this reply either. He tried to be diplomatic and said "30 minutes to start with", emphasis on "to start with". Is there any reply to your question that would have been satisfactory to you?

For some reason your colleague is very sensitive to what you do, even when your behavior has not been directed to him. You may wish to put some distance, unless you enjoy the attention and drama.

Do not worry, he was embarrassing himself in front of your boss, by overreacting to something small like a lack of greeting. His over the top reaction gives away somebody who is not indifferent to you...when one is indifferent to somebody, they cannot care less if they received a greeting or not. So, indeed you may have a male admirer on your hands 🙂 Another very plausible explanation is that currently the whole world is a little crazy: we are in our second year of pandemic. The other day we were chatting with a colleague how people have become on edge and irritable. The COVID is playing a number on everybody. Cut people and yourself some slack.

BeardedGuy, how about you chose neither the first, nor the second partner, but you chose...you. Your biggest issue is to stay clean from drugs, because drugs will end you in the cemetery. Relationships only matter if you are alive, so basically prioritize what matters the most-staying alive and in good health. Your most recent boyfriend only drags you down with him. You cannot quit using, if you stay with him and the your group of friends. So, that makes the choice pretty easy: pick up everybody who helps you stay clean. I am also very surprised that for you having fun and partying is worth it to put yours and other people's life in danger. If you catch the HIV, or you overdose, then your dilemma which men to chose would be a very minor thing to worry. You are already 36, not so young. Isn't it time for you to find something more meaningful to do with your life, than getting involved in relationship drama, doing drugs and partying? Once you find something meaningful to do, your would feel fulfilled and content, without needing drugs, or variety of lovers to give you an adrenalin rush.

Why are you saying that you have no children? You have one-your "man". How come he cannot wake up early in the morning to go to work, but he is perfectly capable to wake up to smoke pot and play video games? Part of the problem is your enabling behaviour. If you continue to support him and do all the work, why would he change? Talking and complaining to him will not work. You need to dump his lazy a§§ and I can reassure you that life without him as a single woman, would be much better for you, because you know how to take care of yourself. You will also do him a favour, because he will be pushed to grow up and take responsibiilty for his life. While you are around to be his mommy, he will never quit suckling his thumb :-). You worry that if you car breaks up on the road, nobody will come to your aid if you leave your husband? So, this is why you need to stick with him? I have never heard more stupid excuse to stay with a loser. If your car breaks up, there are car insurances for that, lady. The professional service comes and fixes your car, or tows it to a garage and gets you a replacement vehicle. At least this is what my full car insurance does. And anyway if your husband comes, he wouldn't be able to fix anything, from what you are telling us. So, he is useless anyway. I would vote for dumping him, you will do a favor to both of you. And I do not think you love him, because how can you love a man that you have so much resentment to (and righfully so)? It is your fear of the unknown and that you got stuck with him from your teenage years, that is blocking you from doing what is best for you (and for him).

It certainly will be much safer for everybody to get a neutral person to supervise the visits. Given how hostile your sister's ex is towards all of you and the statement he made about the family interfering with his son, his hostility will only escalate if he has to put up for 6 hours straight with any member of your family. Guaranteed. If you go there, he will take his anger on you, and your nephew may witness some ugly scenes. Your mother has not been very prudent in her judgement to put you and your nephew in such risk. I guess she is very stressed out which is not conducive to taking good decisions.

Roxiee, if you have been recently in the throes of abuse, and dealing with the aftermath (police, medical examinations), you are certainly no in the right headspace to start a new relationship. You are in a cloud of confusion and turmoil from the abuse and these are very dangerous times to start a new relationship, because you will most probably chose another abusive man. You are vulnerable right now and it shows, even when you write. There are men out there that will pick up on your vulnerability and exploit it. do not start any relationship and do not let anybody pressure you for sex. From what you write (and your other threat) it seems that your "boyfriend" is already pressuring you to put out. Not very nice. And I see, as a typical victim of abuse, you blame yourself, saying that you are a bad person. You are not a bad person, you are hurt and vulnerable person. So, focus on dealing with the police procedure and medical check ups. Stronly encourage you to do therapy. Starting a relationship now is a very bad idea. You need supporting friends and psuchological aid, not another romance that will turn into a disaster and only add to your current problems. Courage.

It seems that this divorce has been du for a long time. The house thing was just the last straw. Your (ex) husbands seems emotionally abusive, blaming you for his own lack of forethought (underestimation of bank and administrative fees). He has turned into an old, selfish and abusive man. The accusation that you were stealing money, is outrageous. Kudos for the courage to end it and live your golden years as you see fit, without the drag of this selfish, immature man. He only thinks about himsemf, bought a house even without consulting you, but did not hesitate to use your money to finance his own project. I guess the writing was on the wall for the deteriorisaton of the marriage, and you finally got the strength to pull the plug. If I may give a small advice: do not let sentimentality, his complaints and tears, detter you from claiming your fair share of assets in the divorce. Stand up for what is yours, do not feel guilty to take with you what you worked for in this marriage for many years. Why did you put all the money from the house in his name? I do not understand that, unless this is your overreaction to show him that you are not a thief. To me this dramatic gesture was unnecessary and rather expensive. 🙂 Good luck.

OP, from your post I did not quite exactly understand what your problem with your wife is, other than she does not mesh well with your parents and sister. While I appreciate that this aspect is very important in the Indian culture, and you very much wish that your wife acts like a loving daughter in law, well you should understand that it is your wife's right to not like your parents and your sister. You should not be trying to force her to blend with the family. If your wife preffers her friendships, then let her socialise with her friends. Stop putting pressure on her to behave a certain way, because you like it that way. She has free will too. Are theare cheating, violence, financial fraud that blemish your marriage? If not, then it is not so bad. I presume you live separately from your parents. If not, please move out from your parents' house. Co-habitation wih in-laws is always a source of problems, and it is not your wife's fault. It is the nature of the dynamics, like they say in my country: one kitchen becomes a battle field when you put two women in it. And if you live with your parents, then there are not two, but three women in that kitchen: your wife, your mother and your sister. It is too much, of course that cats' fights will ensue. The best thing you can do to improve your marriage, is to move out from your parents' house (if you still live there) and let your wife be the queen of her own kitchen. You might be surprised how this will change her behavior. To be honest I difficultly stand my own mother when she stays with me for several months (I have been living abroad for many years). She turns up side down the order in my house and I cannot find anything in their place in the cupboards; it takes months to restore my preferences in the kitchen after she leaves. If you already live separately, when you visit your parents, quit inviting your wife with you. You cannot force her, please show some flexibility. I would not lable your wife as selfish, she is probably strong willed and independent and does not like to be told with whom to socialise. Respect that. By the way, out of curiocity: did you two have had a compatibility horoscope calculated before the marriage? I know that this is rampant in India for an astrologer to advise on the compatibility of a couple, because obviously in arranged marriages people do not date, so they leave the compatibility assessment in the hands of astrologers. Sometimes these estimations are stunningly accurate. Perhaps worth checking the mahadasha period you and your wife are currently running and how it affects you. So, in a nutshell, my advice would be: 1) move out from your parents' house if you still live there; 2) do not insist in your wife visiting your parents, or interacting with them. Respect her independent will. Having a wife with a strong character is a wonderful thing, if you know how to respect her; 3) do not side with your parents and sister. Once you get married, your alliance is with your spouse, not with your parents. Perhaps your wife feels abandonned and "betrayed" that you have taken the side of your parents and you place all the blame on her. I am pretty sure that your parents and sister also contribute to the conflict. When there is a relationship problem, it is never the fault of only one party. Everybody in the conflict shares the responsibility for it.

she is just using you at several levels: for entertainment, support in a new country, and financially too. It is your bank account, so who am I to tell you not squander your money, if you have decided to throw it away. It will be hard though to be simpathetic to your plight when several months down the road you get to post in the "Healing after break up" section. To me you are grasping at straws to convince yourself that this woman is interested in you: the amount of texts, the amount of time she spends with you. But you turn a blind eye to her clealry telling you that she goes out with other men and she does not want to be your girlfriend. Of course she spends time with you: mainly in restaurants eating on your dime and at gigs that you pay for. If you stop paying, you will not hear from her. I guess, you will need to hit rock bottom, before you start see things clealry.

He said that OP can keep all the proceeds, if she shoulders the whole operation. In the end he still ended up carrying around the furniture and going back and forth for the Square Stripe app. He is entitled of a share of the proceeds, because OP could not have realised the deal without him. OP, if you cannot forgo 40$ and they seem worthy of starting a thread on forum, this signals neon red strongly, that it is high time for you to find a job. If you gained 4 000$/month, some 40$ would not be an issue at all.

OP, do you continue to foot the bill for all these frequent outings/dates, that seem to revolve around dinner and drinks, so rather expensive and especially in London. If she clealry demonstrates that she is just a friend/FWB, you are under no obligation to pay for everything. Her "cultural differences" excuse is just that, a lame excuse to mooch on you. I think she keeps you around for very materialistic reasons, and it is because she enjoys the free ride. And the ego boost of having you like her lap dog, running to her at the snap of her fingers, no matter how badly she treats you. I come from a neighbouring to Turkey country, and we have a good share of Turkish population in my country of origin, so I am familiar with their culture. Women do not multidate several men at the same time, like she does, and they would accept dinners/treats only from their husbands and monogamous partners (serious boyfriend/fiancé). In the rare event where mixed gender friends go out for dinner/coffee/tea, women pay their way and this is a code to show the friendship-type-interaction. What she does is having her cake and eat it too, in the sense that she benefits from multidating; which is OK for western europens (she would not do that in Turkey, as she would immediately be labeled as s**t), all the wile requiring that her multiple orbitters foot the bill, like men do in Turkey for their serious girlfriends. She enjoys the best of the Eastern and Western worlds, because she has found a fool like you to buy into her "cultural differences" nonsense. In the spirit of equality, what about the British culture, where women pay for outings too? You are British and most importantly you both live in London, so how about she gets to respect your national culture and the country she lives in, and start paying her way as a grown up woman. It seems that you have accepted your role as suggar daddy and you are afraid to stop paying, because you realise she will be gone if you refuse to spoil her with dinners/events/ and acting like her local guide. It is a pity you are not only going to have to mend a broken heart, but also a broken bank account/credit score. Whatch out the Christmas/New year, she will expect treats/gifts even if Christmas is a Christian holiday and Turks are not Christians 😉