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smilieman

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  1. Doctors (General Practitioners) here a bit strange as they don't seem to do a full evaluation. It's a quick in-out (5 mins appt, 10 if you're lucky). I shall have a conversation with them if/when they call. I have logged a call request this morning.
  2. Sent this morning. I feel absolutely horrible.
  3. Morning. Thank you for asking. Sleep is awful, 3 hours if I'm lucky - keep waking every 15-30 minutes (thinking I've been asleep for hours) - I am soooo tired and feel exhausted. Meds are now finished (1 left) and they haven't seemed to have any impact at all. They do make me feel tired, but that seems to be it. Only meant to be short-term (1 week) to break the cycle - cycle not broken, damn! The VM has been a bit awful recently because of the length of time I have had to spend sorting through paperwork, wearing glasses A LOT and rushing around. I thought I would take it easy yesterday as it was the first day that there was nothing urgent to do apart from have a telephone appt with my pension company and agree the wording of my lawyers letter. Instead I spent most of the day having one panic attack after the other. I shall schedule an appt with the Dr today to see if there are any other options. However, my back pain is a lot better than it has been for the past 4 years. Still uncomfortable, but the pain is much easier to handle and my ribs don't seem to be 'coming out' so much. This is strange.
  4. So for an update. My lawyer has written a letter to be sent to my stbxw's lawyer requesting intentions, sharing my intention to file for Adultery, requesting money taken from the savings account that was part of my dental settlement to be repaid and setting out interim maintenance to be agreed and paid. So the ball has started rolling, which is good in one way, but extremely sad for me, as it's not the beginning of the end of our 19 year relationship. It is such a shame that there was never an option to discuss and repair. So moving forward, however hard that road will be.
  5. I spoke with my Solicitor yesterday about this and although you can, I would need to pay my woman the time it takes her to do that, so probably wouldn't gain much. Also because I have triggered one of my small pensions to come out, I will have access to money at some stage (depending on how ling the process takes) and therefore the courts wouldn't allow that. We'll have to play that one by ear apparently - we'll see.
  6. Ok I shall. Clock ticking type. I have been up front and given them my budget so they don't go over. Who said I wasn't listening? Doctors haven't got a clue about my condition only the neurologist and it's a process to get back to see them. A fair bit, but court costs may be able to be mitigated or shared. The agreement stage first is just for interim spousal maintenance and to get an idea of their direction, apparently. I will be getting a draft letter in a couple of days.
  7. Yes I get that. I wasn't comfortable with it an broke it off, but it didn't last. I did have a chat to the guy a few months later to apologise (not sure if that was a good thing), told me I was welcome to her. And yes, now I know how it feels. It also makes me wonder if she had cheated on him prior to me. Once is enough. I learn lessons. Yes this is true. I shall be emailing my lawyer tomorrow to see if she thinks it pertinent to include something to this effect in her letter to the stbxw lawyer.
  8. And that is a strange thing to behold and a strange set of thoughts that I have been going through to rationalise events. Wow! I wonder if I will, I hope so! So my stbxw did this 10 years back just about year after we got married. She promised faithfully - at a counselling session - that she hadn't had an affair. Because of her behaviour this time (exactly the same) and admitting she has committed adultery, I am now 100% certain that she was having an affair and lied to me and the counsellor. So the last 10 years has been built on this lie. If she was willing to break her wedding vows and have an affair in under a year of being married, how many more affairs has she had over the past 10 years that she hasn't wanted to set up life with the guy? Perhaps it's the same guy as before, in which case it has probably been going on the entire time - somehow. And yet....I've been wanting her back - ***? I think I am learning that she is a cheater. She was when we got together and she has been since. I didn't see it - couldn't see it - Now it's as clear as day. How does the saying go? "Once a cheater, always a cheater?". I do feel like a mug and have wasted 19 years on this relationship, well the past 10 anyway that were built on a lie. Hopefully once I sort out a life, I can get back on to the recovery road. Still feel like such a mug though.
  9. Lets hope, eh? Hopefully I shall be able to get myself a dog again at some point also.
  10. Just had a really good meeting with my lawyer. She is going to write a letter to the stbxw lawyer setting out a way forward as she hasn't heard anything from them still, which she also finds a bit strange.
  11. Not from my perspective. The story has been the same, although perhaps I haven't explained thing properly? I have the emails, so that's the reference point I'm working from. The wife said in relation to her lawyer: "She suggested that she writes to you to set out the way forward in which I want to petition for divorce. It seems the only option is for me to cite unreasonable behaviour. However you don't have to agree to the particulars but you can agree the marriage has broken down or you can divorce me for adultery which although easier it means you pay the solicitor for the petition." I replied: "Thanks for the update. OK, so I'll wait to hear from her then, with your thoughts on how you want to petition for divorce, together with your plan going forward, so that I can get an idea of what you are intending and your ideas of how you envisage the arrangements would look like on the financial side, (informally?), as you indicated." This is all I have heard and have received no letter or further communication on the subject in 11 days. Hope that clarifies.
  12. No I haven't as it's been the weekend. I don't need to go back at the moment. As previously mentioned I told my doctor at the start of all this that I don't handle emotional trauma like this very well. We have a "Well-being" service here. I was in touch with them two days after my wife left asking for help with the emotional trauma and had a telephone assessment with them. A week later I received an email from them saying that there is an 8 week wait. So, I am waiting. I mentioned this to the doctor the other day and he suggested that I call them and request a sooner appointment or cancellation. I did that and they said that I would need to wait. What more can I do?
  13. I have never claimed that she has filed. What I did say is the she said that she could file for unreasonable behaviour OR I could file for Adultery.
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