CelticHeart

I need some help! This will be rather long, but here's my story: Okay, so there's this guy (What else?! Heh)...Ronnie. I'm head-over-heels for him. He's an absolute doll. He's sweet, he's caring, he's honest. I've never seen a moment with him not smiling or being nice to someone. The only thing about him is he's really religious and I'm not. We both goto a Christian school, so he's Christian (I'm catholic, but to everyone @ my school I'm Christian). He goes to Bible Studies, church, youth group, he's in a Christian band and he's always helping out our school. I could handle that, because being @ that school for three years I've accepted God into my life finally (I just still am not all that religious). Ronnie left the school two years ago, when I came, so I never met him. However, I first saw him earlier this May when he was in a play with my class (While they were in Drama, I was in Spanish). The play was Robin Hood and he had to fill in for someone who had left the school. I remember seeing the play and thinking about how cool he seemed. I saw him a couple more times before school ended. He'd be @ our school, hanging out. I thought he was in college @ the time. This year is my last year of highschool. I'm in 12th grade. Ronnie came back to our school and he is one grade below me. Being that he's one grade below me he's not in all of my classes, but he's in my last three -- Computers, Study Hall & Drama. We instantly became friends the first day of school. We both make eachother laugh a lot. So much the teachers usually have to move us, but they always end up letting us sit together. We sometimes flirt, but it's mostly me. I've started to hangout with this girl named, Brittany, who's a real big forward type girl. She's been giving me tips on how to show affection towards Ronnie. It's easy to do all of this in Study Hall. The teacher sits one seat in front of us, so I can easy play footsies with Ronnie or move in closer and lean over on his shoulder and read his book with him. He seems really nervous when I do this, and Britt and I have caught him blushing like crazy. I officially like him now and my whole class knows. Everyone keeps coming up to me, telling me how we look cute together. Even my History/Economics teacher, Mrs.Butler has winked @ me when Ronnie & I were together. And she and I even had a deal that if I passed my last test (I did), she would tell him, and she did, but it didn't seem to phase him. He was more or less shy about it. Last week I found out there's a Fall Fest coming up @ our school in Oak Glen @ Riley's Farm. I asked Ronnie to go, but he said he had a busy schedule and couldn't go. This week he asked me if I was going, and I said no, since he wasn't, but he told me he was going afterall. This really made me mad, since I had previously asked him, but he told me his Dad was making him and that he wanted to hangout with me. He can drive, but he just got his license, so he has to wait 6 months until he can drive with people. Lately I've noticed he's been real nervous with me. He kept asking me what was the plan Britt and I had in store and what we were trying to pull on him by my nonstop flirting. Friday while we had free time in computer class, my friend Mat hooked Ronnie and I up to the same server so we could leave messages on our desktop, although we sit next to eachother our teacher was in a bad mood so we decided to talk through the comps. I asked him what he had been thinking about with this whole ordeal between us and he said he wasn't sure. He seemed dumbfounded by the question. I asked him why he thought we were up to something and he said he thought we were just toying with his emotions and messing with his head. He said he didn't tolorate that sort of thing and from what I guess, apparently he had been hurt before. I told him it wasn't like that, and that I had been through that before and that I was not one to play games. I told him I seriously liked him, but I still felt he had his doubts. Before he could reply the bell rang and we said our good-byes. In Study Hall I tried writing him a note, but he had to leave for about 20 minutes so he could do something in Chapel. When he came back we exchanged phone numbers and I told him to call me this weekend. He said he would. He said it depended on his schedule although he promised he'd make time...so far he hasn't. I even called him last night to see if he'd answer the phone and he did...I hung up. I really like Ronnie and it seems as if everything has been related to him. Lately all the TV shows and movies I've watched a character name is, Ronnie. I found out my old silver bracelet I got from my Dad's friend has, "RONNIE" inscribed on it. I've had five dreams about him. One last week and four this week. Four in a row. I find myself easily jealous now too. If I see him laughing with a friend I get mad. Especially if it's another girl. IE: Last Monday, our comp teacher moved Ronnie next to a girl in my senior class named Anna. She has been hanging out with Brittany lately and this pissed me off. Well her and Ronnie we having fun, laughing, talking and he didn't say anything to me... I felt abandoned and felt just horrible. I cried after class and came up to another good friend of mine, Kelli and hugged her. A lot of people saw me upset. Brittany tried to comfort me, and then Anna came and I left. Kelli and I hid behind the stairs on school grounds and talked it out. Suddenly I heard a voice behind me go, "There you are!" I turned and saw Ronnie standing above us. He walked down a couple of steps and told me he had been looking everywhere for me. I asked why and he said he was just wandering around. Kelli and I both didn't believe this so I asked him what he had heard and he replied that he heard I had been upset and came to look for me. He asked me why I was upset, but I felt to stupid to answer, but he knew and he apologized for ignoring me in computer class, and said he just didn't want to get into trouble. I told him maybe it would be better if I wasn't even around and he walked down further towards me and said that wasn't true. That no one could make him laugh like me. That put a smile on my face. From what I've heard he seems to kinda have a crush on me, but I think he's holding it back, feeling he can be hurt, but I want to prove him wrong. This weekend has been hard. I've gotten upset easily because Ronnie hasn't called me. I know he doesn't want to discuss what's been going on. And I think if he feels he can push away his feelings and maybe if he can push me away from him he'll be safe and that it'll prove him right, that it was only a moment of amusement and that I didn't really like him. So, what should I do? Should I back off or try to get closer? Maybe prove to him afterall that I like him. Riley's farm is in a week and a half. I'm hoping to prove it there, by holding his hand and talking to him. We never get a chance to talk because he's always so busy, but @ Riley's farm I'll be able to. We haven't known eachother long, but maybe it just takes time until I see a change in him... Thanks for reading.