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Sunshine7

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Everything posted by Sunshine7

  1. Sunshine7
    Day 29 - can't believe I have got to this point !!
  2. Sunshine7
    Okay so I have decided to come on here less, but I still need to vent. I keep dreaming about you and have every night this last week and I wake up so tired. What the hell is that all about? I wonder what you think of before you sleep at night. I wonder what you are thinking now. Even though I know I need to take this road and I am as rocky as it is, but I will always think of you, because I have everyday for 6 years, I can't just switch it off, it's automatic!
  3. Sunshine7
    Day 17: Up down up down up down this is one scary rollercoaster!!
  4. Sunshine7
    I am so **** I spent any time on you. **** you right now!! ***er!
  5. Sunshine7
    Day 16: nothing to say
  6. Sunshine7
    Day 15: Still feels fresh in the mind, have done many things but nothing seems to override my thoughts of him. I wonder (as this is now a record for me which I am so pleased about!!!) does he think of me or wonder where the hell I am???
  7. Sunshine7
    Today I have had such an urge to contact you, more than any other time before. Right now though i know in my heart it's the wrong thing to do. If you cared if you loved me if you wanted me then you know where I am. You dumped me you made that choice so I don't have to do anything now
  8. Sunshine7
    I guess the realisation is kicking in, why did you do this to me why!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stop crying now as I type this - why god why did you let this happen to me!!! I need your help more than ever now.
  9. Sunshine7
    7 days since your last text and 14 since contact from me, I keep thinking maybe you will send me something else because you haven't got a response from me, but now I really don't think you will. I actually feel you are over me already and that makes me feel sick, the fact that I meant nothing. 6 years no matter what happened is a long time, can you just forget me like that just like someone you just met? Are you waiting for me now? is that why you don't send anything else? do you think I am playing a game this time? I still hope that when realisation sets in that I have gone this time that it would at least mean something to you. I want you to realise you made a mistake and that you were wrong and that you do love me, do want me but just got angry and couldn't deal with things the way they were, and you just needed space to breathe and to realise yourself - that will stay in the back of my mind for months no doubt, I don't think hope ever dies. But for now I move on . . .
  10. Sunshine7
    Day 14: Wake up you are the first thing on my mind, check the phone have you called/text, no, start thinking about the fact you are finding this easy and I really mean nothing, get an urge to contact him, stop myself, get depressed, get up, make tea think about what to do today, get anxious, get real, come on here. You never leave my head and it is tiring.
  11. Sunshine7
    NC for me: She will be expecting a text from you on her birthday, don't send one, trust me on this that is the one day she will expect to hear and when she doesn't it will make her think and she will send you something a few days later. I know because that has happened in the past in my experience.
  12. Sunshine7
    Back to you - so she dumped you, said she didn't love you, didn't want you, dated other guys but wanted to be friends with you which you did for a time, then when you went NC she came back to reconcile. Is that recent?
  13. Sunshine7
    I really feel in my heart that you don't think of me for one second, 6 years and I know that you are probably glad I have gone, finally. It's been 2 weeks and I guess you are settling into your relationship with her and loving it. I was so good to you and you even knew that but it wasn't enough. NC won't bring you back because you don't want to come back, if you did you would have sent another text since the one 6 days ago, you would be making an effort, you would be here with me instead of her. I don't know all the facts they are just assumptions right now. But I don't know this time it just feels different. Maybe it's me that's changed and not you. Maybe I am accepting this even though I still want you to contact me. I feel so vulnerable right now, I feel safe in my house or if I am with other people, but alone outside I can't do that yet, I will try tomorrow though. I think the biggest thing I feel is disappointment, that after all this time I meant nothing to you.
  14. Sunshine7
    Day 13: I have a thousand questions in my head, but accept it is out of my hands, I want you to contact me but I don't want to contact you. I fear seeing you again. You feel like a complete stranger right now.
  15. Sunshine7
    Man I dont know - I know we are both going through difficult times, but your way with words is making me chuckle. One of your other posts actually had me burst out laughing, because I felt the same about my ex too
  16. Sunshine7
    The only thing I think of now is when you are going to realise that I have gone. It's 12 days NC - has it sunk in yet?
  17. Sunshine7
    Day 12: So after your little 'how are you' msg on day 7 (that I ignored) I have thought about when you are going to text again, that was until today. Today I feel I am accepting this - yesterday I was up and down and yes I still check the phone, but today I realise if after 6 years that's all you can say, then you didn't deserve me. In the end I dodged a bullet (even though it took a long time) but you lost something really precious (you just didn't realise it). Maybe you will maybe you will convince yourself otherwise but I hope it hurts when the realisation smacks you in the face that I am gone.
  18. Sunshine7
    I don't really know what to say anymore. What hurts me most is that I mean nothing after 6 years. If that is what I am to you then I don't need you in my life.
  19. Sunshine7
    Day 11 NC (entirely from me) - got a text Day 7 from ex asking how I was, which I blanked, but nothing since. Feeling okay, not crying as much, still checking the phone though (not as much but still doing it nonetheless). Feel my own sense of worth and value coming back.
  20. Sunshine7
    so here we are coming up to day 11 NC (from me anyway). You dumped me yet day 7 you ask me how I am and since then I wonder what was behind that text, what made you send that and nothing since. The only reason I am hurt now is for myself - the fact I gave so much to someone who didn't appreciate they had something special. I hope no one ever comes close to me not ever and for the rest of your days you wish you had me - because that is the justice that is deserved here.
  21. Sunshine7
    I can't believe after 6 years you dump me like I was nothing - you want nothing at all to do with me and then have the audacity to text me and ask how i am after a week!!! how do you think i am? do you not have the ability to apperciate the effect of your actions!! I gave you my heart and in return you do this to me and all because you can't talk and you have to run away like a child instead of facing things. You are a grown man you make out you are strong and self sufficient - a man wouldn't have walked. One day I hope you truly regret letting me go and that it hurts so deeply you can't function then you might know how half of me feels right now.
  22. Sunshine7
    helpmetoheal and Bec83 - don't ever let anyone else make you feel like this, I sway my thoughts every day but now I feel strong, we are all alone as individuals on this planet no matter if we are married, with someone whatever. Just remember that. Your both women and so am I so make yourself look fabulous, lose weight/tone up, get healthy just do it now, get up and start making that change and don't stop, focus on being a better person. It wasn't your fault they left thye just didn't value you enough. Now go and make yourself valuable, do that by NC and by being the best you can be, so that you never allow this to happen to you again.
  23. Sunshine7
    Day 7: I just want you out of my head now because it is really beginning to piss me off - if you dont give a * * * * why should I?
  24. Sunshine7
    so okay you dump me after 6 years walk away like i was nothing and i constantly think of you even though you treated me badly. I cant believe I actually dreamt about you last night and woke up miserable. I ant you out of my head now because if you dont give a * * * * nor should I agh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  25. Sunshine7
    for the sake of your future happiness i hope you realise you have made a huge mistake in letting me go. i was good for you but you took me for granted, you didn't think i was of value. I hope you realise now that I am and that you were wrong, idiotic and stupid!!!
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