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resilient

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Posts posted by resilient

  1. day 15, day 0

    yes i did break my NC i know i should feel ashamed, but i had a very good reason, i wanted to tell her the truth about something i felt, i needed to have closure on that particular thing... i know she will ignore me, but at least i made her know that i knew our relationship was a faked happiness.

  2. NC1 11 days, NC2 3 days, NC3 10 days

     

    Feeling angry right now, maybe too much reading here makes me re-live the hurtful even and makes it difficult to detach from the situation. yeah, also had my ex ex contacting me and putting all the blame of her life misery on my shoulders... trying to make me feel guilty... I can not take this s**t anymore...

  3. NC1 11 days, NC2 3 days, NC3 9 days

     

    will break the 11 days NC record over the weekend... this is good psychological barrier to cross..

     

    the feeling of wanting to reconnect is fading away... I do not feel apetite for other women... I am afraid this is the psychological damage that this break-up has done... this intentional killing of emotions in the name of "moving on" is actually "moving without" ie leaving the emotions behind... am going to be the same after person after that? poor the next partner!

     

    the meaning of being in a relationship is losing its purpose for me.. what is the point of being in relationship if the relationship of lifetime has caused me the biggest emotional pain in my life?

  4. NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 8 days

    I woke up feeling angry today... angry with myself because I let myself fall, I that ignored all the red flags that I saw and crossed all the red signals... I took deep dive in the deep sh**. I didn't know how deep it was until I realized how long it is taking me to get out of it...

  5. NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 7 days

    Today I completed one week NC. I diffused an attempt by my brain to send her a short message.. a link regarding congitive dissonance... that was un necessarly... I I was struggling on hear behalf to make her change her position... I decided to take care of my feelings and let her feelings for her to manage

  6. As a Psychology major I've always found the theory of cognitive dissonance to be fascinating. Interesting to see it applied here on ENA.

     

    hello spanks,

     

    I have been dumped and I am on day 7 NC after serveral attempts to negotiate reconciliation... the article on cognitive dissonance gives the real answer to her decision for break-up in the sense that she felt discomfort in continueing with me for conflicting character differences me while she still likes me...

     

    Is it wise idea to email her the article of congintive dissonance without comments for her to understand her own behavior change, or is going to be seen as yet another attempt from to reconcile and then lose all my 7 day NC down the drain?

  7. Day 8. I'm starting to regain some of my lost confidence,focusing on my studies, and my laughter has returned. I'm still slightly irritable and miss her but now I have the sense that everything is going to be ok.

     

    hi thagator, if you are into reading heavy duty stuff.. read this article about cognitive dissonance and it will answer all your unanswered questions: (if you do please let me know what you think)

     

    link removed

  8. NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 4 days

    Just broke my smaller NC record... I am angry because I keep thinking of you... just waiting to April's fool day to celebrate how fool I were when I did not play it well with you... knowing you now, I know what it would have taken to keep you interested... just void promises.. similar to the ones that you gave me...

  9. lately I read this: 'What we choose is destiny, what we refuse comes back to us as fate'. if that is true, doesn't that also mean if I keep coming back to her when she refuses me I would become her fate?!

     

    NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, today I broke the NC with small positive message and I got her reply back... so Hope is back again. I can move to LC.

    My advice to everyone.. whatever you do, think positively do not deliver any negative messages... it may still work

  10. I see my current situation to be similar to your own. I think the old saying holds some truth to it too....When you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was. Time....

     

    lately I read this: 'What we choose is destiny, what we refuse comes back to us as fate'. if that is true, doesn't that also mean if I keep coming back to her when she refuses me I would become her fate?!

  11. 3 months nc... today I broke it... sent him 3 texts... i was the dumper... He did write back, but he was very cold and distant... I wonder if maybe tomorrow he'll call me and maybe we can have a good talk...

     

    hi Love145,

    May I ask who started the NC first? What made you break the NC? Did you want to break the NC earlier but resisted till now or was it a sudden impulse you had?

  12. This probably can't be stressed enough.

     

    but there is one thing we can all be certain of...if you and your ex are alive then that is something to be thankful for. They could have been taken like in Lynn's story in which case there can be no reunion. If two people are still alive then there is always the possibility of reconnecting.

     

    .

     

    This is how it think about this:

    When a partner dies, the person left behind has no way but to accept and cope with the reality of death as they know no one has ever come back from the dead. Evenually, the pain of loss will die with time. But when a partner walks away from you in a relationship, hope still remains that they may come back. So the pain may never seem to die at least until hope of reunion dies. When the hope of the ones left behind die, they die too, even if they are reborn as new persons later on. I think what we are griefing, in the end, is the death of the person that we used to be.

  13. Day 11 NC,

    Today I broke the NC and sent her a letter. The reason for NC is healing. I considered myself healed (at least for the time being) so I thought I could break the NC and send a letter. Probably this is how my mind tricked me. I think my mind is smarter than me. Tomorrow I have an appointment with renewed pain

     

    Today Day 1 NC, it could have been Day 12 NC if i did not break the silence yesterday.

     

    Today is the tomorrow of yesterday. Yesterday I had an appointment with tomorrow. Tomorrow has come. Pain is here. Now it is not a matter of feeling the pain. It is a matter of refreshing the pain. Since I sent her a message yesterday, I am refreshing the pain with each click on the 'refresh' button of my gmail.

  14. Day 11 NC,

    Today I broke the NC and sent her a letter. The reason for NC is healing. I considered myself healed (at least for the time being) so I thought I could break the NC and send a letter. Probably this is how my mind tricked me. I think my mind is smarter than me. Tomorrow I have an appointment with renewed pain

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