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Everything posted by resilient

  1. day 15, day 0 yes i did break my NC i know i should feel ashamed, but i had a very good reason, i wanted to tell her the truth about something i felt, i needed to have closure on that particular thing... i know she will ignore me, but at least i made her know that i knew our relationship was a faked happiness.
  2. NC1 11 days, NC2 3 days, NC3 13 days nearing two weeks NC.. feeling better yet bitter
  3. NC1 11 days, NC2 3 days, NC3 12 days Broke my NC1 record. but I am not happy that I broke my record... still struggling to forget the wonderful moments we shared. I am sure we could have worked things out to the best of our interest if you gave it more time.
  4. NC1 11 days, NC2 3 days, NC3 11 days Ok I am even with the previous record of NC... just not happy counting the days that keep us apart whereas i should discount the days the would bring us together
  5. NC1 11 days, NC2 3 days, NC3 10 days Feeling angry right now, maybe too much reading here makes me re-live the hurtful even and makes it difficult to detach from the situation. yeah, also had my ex ex contacting me and putting all the blame of her life misery on my shoulders... trying to make me feel guilty... I can not take this s**t anymore...
  6. NC1 11 days, NC2 3 days, NC3 9 days will break the 11 days NC record over the weekend... this is good psychological barrier to cross.. the feeling of wanting to reconnect is fading away... I do not feel apetite for other women... I am afraid this is the psychological damage that this break-up has done... this intentional killing of emotions in the name of "moving on" is actually "moving without" ie leaving the emotions behind... am going to be the same after person after that? poor the next partner! the meaning of being in a relationship is losing its purpose for me.. what is the point of being in relationship if the relationship of lifetime has caused me the biggest emotional pain in my life?
  7. NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 8 days I woke up feeling angry today... angry with myself because I let myself fall, I that ignored all the red flags that I saw and crossed all the red signals... I took deep dive in the deep sh**. I didn't know how deep it was until I realized how long it is taking me to get out of it...
  8. NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 7 days Today I completed one week NC. I diffused an attempt by my brain to send her a short message.. a link regarding congitive dissonance... that was un necessarly... I I was struggling on hear behalf to make her change her position... I decided to take care of my feelings and let her feelings for her to manage
  9. hi thagator, if you are into reading heavy duty stuff.. read this article about cognitive dissonance and it will answer all your unanswered questions: (if you do please let me know what you think) link removed
  10. NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 6 days Almost one week gone... yesterday, I formed my plan for moving on... I set a CLEAR long term plan and target.. sorry, it does not include you.. but you are welcome to join in...
  11. NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 5 days hmmm, I think she needs to be taken care of... but I am NOT going to text her... how are you doing? just wanted to make sure you are ok...
  12. NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 4 days Just broke my smaller NC record... I am angry because I keep thinking of you... just waiting to April's fool day to celebrate how fool I were when I did not play it well with you... knowing you now, I know what it would have taken to keep you interested... just void promises.. similar to the ones that you gave me...
  13. NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 3 days I started to feel it is pointless to expect time to take us back to where we were at 4 days before you decided to leave... that's when I could have done something to stop the time from bringing us to this destination.
  14. NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 2 days with the help of my online friends, I was able to avoid breaking NC-3 and dodged the bullet... thanks to all
  15. NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 1 day Not sure what to say, still in mixed emotions state of mind.. but I am drifting towards forgiveness and healing... I told her in the last message I will keep you posted about something, but more likely that posting from me will never come...
  16. NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, today I broke the NC with small positive message and I got her reply back... so Hope is back again. I can move to LC. My advice to everyone.. whatever you do, think positively do not deliver any negative messages... it may still work
  17. lately I read this: 'What we choose is destiny, what we refuse comes back to us as fate'. if that is true, doesn't that also mean if I keep coming back to her when she refuses me I would become her fate?!
  18. yes I did last night. Implementing what's there helps me to be in the right positive position if and ever I could establish contact with her again later on. Thanks for your positive responses doya.
  19. DAY 3 NC, don't take me wrong, while I think I have initiated the NC, as a matter of fact SHE is the one who created NC and I am trying not to break it. My last record was 11 days Not Breaking NC. It sucks to be ignored by someone who once said 'I cannot live without you'.
  20. hi Love145, May I ask who started the NC first? What made you break the NC? Did you want to break the NC earlier but resisted till now or was it a sudden impulse you had?
  21. Today Day 2 NC. I am striving to break my previous 12 Day NC record. I feel it is like 10 years more to go
  22. This is how it think about this: When a partner dies, the person left behind has no way but to accept and cope with the reality of death as they know no one has ever come back from the dead. Evenually, the pain of loss will die with time. But when a partner walks away from you in a relationship, hope still remains that they may come back. So the pain may never seem to die at least until hope of reunion dies. When the hope of the ones left behind die, they die too, even if they are reborn as new persons later on. I think what we are griefing, in the end, is the death of the person that we used to be.
  23. Day 11 NC, Today I broke the NC and sent her a letter. The reason for NC is healing. I considered myself healed (at least for the time being) so I thought I could break the NC and send a letter. Probably this is how my mind tricked me. I think my mind is smarter than me. Tomorrow I have an appointment with renewed pain
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