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Pisces Girl

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  1. Day 30: I made it through 30 days of NC! It feels pretty good to make it so far. I feel a lot better since the break up- I'm not as angry or depressed. I'm able to go on dates with other guys and focus on my school work. It was definitely good for me to go NC, but I still haven't decided exactly what my next step will be. I want to stay in NC until I'm sure of what I'm doing, but I probably won't be posting here anymore. I'll try to start writing in my healing journal on another thread. Good luck to everyone else doing NC! Just stay strong! You may not be back together with your ex, but if you focus on you and don't expect them to contact you, you're on your way to healing and getting your life back together. I still love my ex and hope we'll be together some day, but if not, at least I know I can bounce back from heartbreak.
  2. Day 29: A normal day just focusing on getting my work done. I'm also working on socializing more and being more vocal. My ex said I can't keep letting people walk all over me- and he has a point. I feel like these last few days I've made some real natural progress. I don't feel as much anger or depressive feelings towards my ex. I'm okay with the thought of letting him go- I can survive. I still miss him so much but I need to heal.
  3. Day 27: I'm starting to feel a little better. Part of me is releasing you, I can feel you slipping through my fingers. I'm scared because I don't want to lose you. But I need to let go first and heal myself before we can ever possibly get back together or be friends. Day 28: I was very busy today and had a lot of work to do. I went to dance class and he was again, not there, as he had a different class to go to. I felt kind of relieved he wasn't there because I could just relax without worrying about trying to impress him or whatever. Normally, if he didn't show up, I'd get really upset/depressed. It's quite a change to be happy with him not there. But I need to work on being okay whether he's there or not. When he does show up, my non-chalance will be put to the test.
  4. Day 26: Today I had an extremely busy day. I went to my dance class, but my ex didn't show up. I hung out with my friend afterward and we got lunch together. Then I did my homework for a few hours. And for dinner, I had a guy take me out to eat and he payed for me. I guess I could say it's a date since he also seems interested in me. This would be the second guy I've been on a 'date' with during NC. It's nice to go out and keep myself busy, meet new people, and see what else is out there. It's just so hard to see potential in other guys when my ex was everything I ever wanted.
  5. Day 25: Today I went to a singing performance at my college- and of course my ex was there. This was the 1st time I've seen him during NC. I think he saw me because he kept looking at me sort of, but I looked away and tried not to wave to him or anything. I was there with my other friends and so I just acted like he wasn't there. I didn't get butterflies or nervousness when I saw him, I felt calm and I just really missed him a lot. He got a new haircut- it didn't look that attractive but he always looks handsome to me. And our one friend was in the performance- at the end he gave him a standing ovation. It was cute how he was the first person to stand up and start clapping. He's such a sweet guy but isn't afraid to be bold. Okay I really need to stop my obsessive train of thought and go to sleep. Boy, you have no idea how much I love you.
  6. Day 24: Today I mostly worked on my project. My one friend asked his gf to prom by standing outside her school and holding up a sign- everyone thought it was so cute. I really wish my ex would have done something cute like that for me And I hung out at my other ex's place since we're still good friends. We just watched TV shows and joked around like we normally do, but at the end he tried making a move on me but I pushed him away and said that was off-limits. The wrong ex is coming after me, ugh.
  7. Day 23: Today you sent out a mass e-mail to everyone in our dance class asking for schedules so we could pick a time to meet. I'm not responding since we're in no contact. And we already have days set up; either you didn't get the e-mail or no one told you about it. You can't always rely on me to remind you of these things. And in the one dining hall today I saw a mutual friend of ours who said hi to me. I'm trying so hard to just do my own thing and avoid you but you and your friends seem to be involved in everything I do or show up where I am. I'm still missing you so much. I had a minor cry session today thinking about all the good times we had and how strong my feelings for you are. I'm at day 23 but sometimes it feels only like day 1. You're so fresh in my mind still.
  8. Day 22: I still think about you, I still miss you. And today I found out a different ex (that I dated for 8 months) mentioned to me that he likes this other girl now. I'm kind of happy for him since it's been almost a year that we broke up; he had a hard time moving on because he said he was so in love with me. But when he told me he liked another girl, I didn't really get jealous, so I know for sure I no longer have feelings for him. Now if the recent ex contacted me and said he liked someone else... I would be so hurt. I hope that doesn't happen anytime soon.
  9. Day 21: I went to my dance club today and very few people showed up. Since we're performing in a few months the choreographer asked if any of us have seen or talked to the other members because we need as many people as possible. Even though my ex is in the club too, he hasn't showed up yet this quarter. And I was proud of myself for being able to say that I haven't talked to him. I'm the only one of us there that knew his phone number, but I'm not going to text it. He has to realize what life is like without me for a little while longer...
  10. Day 17: Today I went home and just relaxed. I did some homework. Nothing really exciting lol Day 18: My parents took me out to dinner for my birthday, and afterwords I had some friends over for cake. Day 19: Sunday I made my way back to school and worked on my project. Day 20: Today I was incredibly busy! I had to finish my project, then run to a club meeting, then go to a 4 hour class. *collapses* Also, over the weekend I saw a post on fbook from mutual friends on facebook that they and my ex went to a gay club downtown, apparently my ex got hit on by some old guy. I found it quite amusing. This is what happens when he doesn't have me to bring out dancing with him And I'm surprised I didn't post on here for 4 days straight. I feel like I'm not as obsessed about NC and forget to post half the time- I guess it's progress lol I just need to keep focusing on healing and making myself a better person
  11. Day 15: Today I focused on me and worked on my project for my college class. I'm still thinking about him but I'm not hurting as much anymore. Day 16: Today was my birthday! It was nice to have so many people say happy birthday to me, it made me feel like people did care about me and not to think that I need my ex to care about me. What did surprise me though was that he wished me a happy birthday, I thought it was nice of him to do that. I didn't start up a conversation with him though. Now that I'm a year older, I feel like it's extra motivation to get myself together and improve myself as a person.
  12. Day 14: Today I woke up feeling really sick, so I went to the health clinic on campus, and it turns out I have a gastrointestinal infection. So I've been trying to rest most of the day while still keeping up with my classes. I wish my ex was here- he always liked taking care of me and making me feel better. But I guess I gotta take care of myself.
  13. Day 12: Didn't really do much on Sunday except pack for school since I went home for the weekend. I think my one ex still likes me. We can't watch a movie without him cuddling with me. It doesn't bother me, but more for his sake I wish he'd stop, I don't want him getting attached and then upset. And this other guy keeps texting me constantly and it's annoying. I really need to put my foot down. Day 13: In my one class, a mutual friend of the ex was on facebook looking at photos. Ah, facebook, it's so evil. My friend started to look at pictures from an album that my ex was in. It was a new album from this weekend, and since I'm not checking his facebook, I haven't looked at those pictures. I was worried when she was looking through them that I would see him and end up getting upset. So I had to force myself to look away. It's pretty bad when I'm practically seeing pictures of my ex during class, I can't get away from him!
  14. Day 11: Today I went with my one guy friend(who I think likes me) to see a musical that my friend is in(who happens to be an ex(we'll call him guy1)). It's kind of weird how that happened. I talked to guy1 afterward and he gave me a hug. It was nice to see him again. It kept my mind off of THE ex(guy2). It's nice that me and guy1 are still good friends, it gives me hope that one day me and guy2 can one day be good friends too without getting jealous. Even though guy1 has a girlfriend now, I don't get jealous at all, I am nothing but happy for him. And this was a guy I was in love with just a year or two ago. So I know I can move onto friends after being in love, it just takes time. Also, I was going through the photos on my laptop and realized I still had pics of this guy I had a thing with last summer. I deleted all those pics because he was a jerk and I want nothing to do with him. So yeah, today was quite interesting.
  15. Day 9: In my volleyball wellness class, some girl came up to me and said I looked familiar. "Are you *****'s girlfriend?" That was the most awkward moment I've had in awhile. I had to tell her that no, he was not my bf because we had broken up. I wished so badly that I could say I was his gf, but I couldn't. I'm glad I stayed strong though and I didn't get upset and cry or anything. I just focused on hitting that volleyball and maybe making some new friends. Later that night, I spent time with a different ex since we're still on good terms. We were honest with each other and said things that we couldn't previously. It was quite emotional. Day 10: Today I spent most of the day just relaxing on my computer and went to see my brother perform in his musical, and then we hung out with our friends afterwords. It was a fun day but I'm still missing the ex.
  16. Day 8: Today I focused on my classes and had fun hanging out with my friends. I'm feeling happy but I still miss him.
  17. Day 7: Well, I made it through a week of no contact! I still haven't checked his facebook at all. I'm still thinking about him a lot though. I miss him so much. He was such a great guy, and it's hard to find those nowadays. I'm trying to focus on me though and what I can improve on to be a better person.
  18. Thanks! You're right though, I just have to focus on my school work. I tend to get easily distracted though so I have to work on that! lol Day 6: Today it was back to college, first day of Spring Quarter. I got dressed up, made sure I got to all my classes on time; I think I did good! And in one of my classes I have a mutual friend of my ex and I. Our friend talked to me for a little bit and I made sure I was sociable and cheerful- I don't want word getting back to my ex that I looked sad or anything. This just goes to show that you have to look your best and be your best- you never know who you're going to run into!
  19. Day 5: Today I packed up my belongings and headed back to college after the short week long break. Now that I'm back at school, I'll be back in my old routine, and I'm worried the urge to contact him will be getting stronger. I have to do my best though and focus on myself, NC is just getting started.
  20. Day 4: Today I went to the Policeman's Ball and had a lot of fun dancing with family and friends. It felt great to get all dressed up! I still thought about him a lot though, I wish that he would have been there to dance with me. We both love dancing and he's one of the only people that can keep up with me. But it doesn't matter anymore I guess. I miss you
  21. Day 3: I had fun hanging out with my friends, but still thought about him a lot. I had a dream about him last night too. This is pretty tough... =/
  22. I'm very sorry about what you're going through, I know it can be tough. It's harder when you're in physical pain and you just want to know that they at least care about that. Sometimes you just have to not let it upset you too much and think of the people that do care about you. And at least wisdom teeth removal isn't a serious surgery- I had mine done a few years ago. It's not too bad, I'm sure you'll get through it just fine. But your situation kind of sounds a lot like this guy I had a thing with over the summer. We had been best friends for 3 years and we came really close to being in a relationship because we had always liked each other. Well, I had foot surgery done and they had to put screws in; recovering from that surgery was the worst pain I've ever felt. This guy promised he would visit me to see if I was okay but never showed up. He started texting me less and less every day until he finally flipped out on me and told me to go away. He deleted me off facebook and it was like we never had a connection and were never even friends. And this guy mentioned he could see himself marrying me? HA! What a joke. We still haven't talked in 6 months and it's a good thing because I realized he was not good for my life as he was involved with drugs and had a lot of emotional issues. I've gotten over him, but now I'm working on getting over a guy that just recently broke up with me. This relationship stuff is so tiring
  23. Day 2: Today my mom took me out to the movies, out shopping, and to dinner. Keeping busy has definitely helped me from sulking in my room all day. I still think about him a lot though and I'm wondering if he's thinking of me. I still haven't looked at his facebook. I also decided to stop checking up on my other exes facebooks. I didn't even realize I was still checking up on guys from awhile ago, guess I just did it out of habit. I really have a lot of letting go to do =/
  24. Day 1: I'm doing okay. I didn't check his facebook at all which is a first. I'm proud of myself. My mom and I went to a massage and that helped take my mind off of things. I'm trying to stay positive. Only 29 more days!
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