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  1. These types of questions are hard to answer!!! let me just say that over the past few years I've used jsut about everydrug under the sun and I'm fine, I stopped using when I felt like it and I hold down a good job yadda yadda yadda... the key is MODERATION and BEING SMART ABOUT IT e is a strange one, the short term effects are depression/insomnia and a sore mouth from all the chewing. for a few days after taking it you'll feel pretty crappy and "flat" but liek the other guy said, the bigest danger is what's in the pills your taking, but you can minimise this risk. if you just buy pills from some guy in a club you are SERIOUSLY playing with fire.... when your friends say what they can get, ask them what the pills are most pills have names (white mitzi's, blue euro's, double dipped cherrys etc) if they can't tell you or the dealer says he doesn't know...leave them, you don't want them, they're dodgy. if he gives you a name, go to a website like link removed and do a search on it, that way they'll be able to see what other people who have taken the same pills say about how good or bad they were. but yeah, prolonged hard-core use will screw you're brain up, you'll get words backwards, suffer awful mood swings and depression, long term.... alzheimers? parkinsons? these are all possibilities.... so moderation and preperation...know what your taking, and do it in a safe familiar environment..... that's just my two cents and to anyone who's gonan give me crap for not saying "drugs are bad mmkay" kids are gonna do it, it's fun, and it's when people don't get any information that bad things happen.... everyone feel free to PM or email me if you want to discuss....
  2. hmmm, (trying to be tactful) be very VERY VERY careful that you do NOT become her counsellor, I have done this, I spent 3 years with a wonderful but abused girl, I helped her heal I nursed her through the nightmares and went without sex for a very long time, I was her best friend and counsellor... I thought I was her boyfriend.... but I wasn't I had become everything but...then she got to a point in her healing where she thought she was happy and she left me....because I now remind her of all the bad shit I helped her deal with.... so yeah, in her words "you were my saviour...but now I'm saved I have to move on" do NOT make my mistake, love her be her boyfriend, be her lover, be her best friend but do NOT become her counsellor...that is NOT your job, there are professionals out there who do it for a living.... direct her to them, take her along, pay for it if you like, make sure she's getting help, but please don't become her counsellor!!!!
  3. you're right mate, take this point as the end and move on from here, I'm still waiting to find out about my ex, but no doubt it'll happen...and soon, but I'm living as though it's already happened, why wait around for her to put the final nail in the coffin y'know... But yeah, that part of your life is over, she has made her choice, you must now make yours, do sit and pine and cry for a few months, or take those few months and have a BLAST with your friends? seems like a pretty easy choice to me!
  4. Mate you've GOT to get her out of your life!! think of it this way...right now she's got everything she wants, She's got a boyfriend who (probably) loves her and is treating her good and stuff and she's also got you on a string in case things turn sour with him. do you want to be someone's fall back plan or someones boyfriend and lover? because if you stay doing things the way you are you will always be the former and never the latter. you need to break off with her, say to her that this isn't right, she's getting everything she could possibly want and you are getting nothing. Until you get her out of your life then there will be no room in your life for that one who will love and adore you.... do you want to be adored? or are you happy being a puppet on a string? sorry for being so blunt but I've been there dude...learn from my mistakes...no-one should ever have to go through what you're goin through but you CAN take back CONTROL!!!! A
  5. hey people, I've been toying with the idea of putting my name and stuff on a few of those online matchmaker sites... not to find a new girlfriend but just to meet new people and maybe chat to some people and stuff.... what's everyone's opinon of these type sites? (it's kinda freaky to think about doing it but it's free and more emails are always a welcome distraction!
  6. please read my post link removed and please don't call her, I went through the exact same needs and wants but when I had that realisation I felt so much better after it.... don't call, in my opinion no good can come from it
  7. yup, the guy wants to have his cake and eat it to to hell with him, tell him to get lost and move on!
  8. honest opinion? I reakon perhaps counselling or therapy for the alchoholism and jealousy could be a good thing for you, forgetting about how to get her back, deal with your own deamons first, find the underlying issues YOU have with trust and that sort of thing and then you can try and deal with these problems which seem to have had a part in driving her away. once YOU help yourself for yourself and not to try and get her back, maybe she'll notice the effort your making to better yourself. but effort just to get someone back is a bit hollow to me.... do it for you!!!!
  9. breaker24, like gilgamesh and hurtn said, you can still love, but the key (to me) is to realise that I am in love with a memory, I can never call her again, and for me to worry about what she's doing now or who she's seeing is stupid because I don't know her anymore, I am worried about what my kelly from 6 months ago is doing whereas in reality it's a totally different girl who I know nothing about doing things that I don't know about...so how crazy is it to obsess over that? why go nuts over situations that you have no influence over at all? Focus on YOU focus on having a mental time with your friends, do stupid stuff that you know she wouldn't have approved of, enjoy being single...there is some stuff missing I agree, but there is still heaps of cool stupid stuff you get to do now! you know? If my (or your or anyones) ex does come back the key as I see it will be to SLOWLY get to know them again, FROM SCRATCH do not take any expectations into it based on what you had before, get to know them as the person they are NOW and see if she is someone you'd like to see again, of course any previous infidelity should be an instant veto, why go back to someone who cheated on you? no matter how sorry they are...they still betrayed you!
  10. Carpe diem dude! sieze the day! go for it right then and there and start talking as soon as you see her I reakon! even worse would be that while you're plotting and planning some other guy walks up and starts talking to her... women aren't an alien species, I just talk to them like they're my mates and I have done alright in my life with ladies...except for one...but that's another story!
  11. Totally Gilgamesh, I'm sure one day I will crack and call, but even then that little phantom will be looking at me and I'll realise that I am not talking to who I wanted to at all.... we all have moments of weakness, it's what we learn from them that makes them constructive... she is a phantom, a memory that I can cherish for the good times but who will never exist again... it's crazy the things we learn that we always thought we'd never have to!
  12. I totally agree with gilgamesh, Bi-sexuality is not a "loophole" in my mind many guys might get off on the idea if it is just a purely sexual thing (that's up to him of course) I had the same kinda thing happen in my relationship and let me tell you, while I could (perhaps naively) overlook her kissing other girls and sleeping with them because I loved her and didn't want to hold her back and hell it was pretty cool to be involved! As soon as I thought there was anything more than just a bit of fun involved it felt to me exactly the same as if it were another guy. So yeah that's just my two cents but it's up to him, if you feel like you could love this girl or want anything more than just a bit of experimentation then to me, it's cheating, just as though it was with a guy. He may even think that you wanting to experiment is as awful as if you wanted to screw another guy, it depends on him entirely
  13. Hi, I’ve been reading this site whilst going through my own terrible breakup after 3 years of love and devotion and reading your posts has helped heaps! So I thought it was time I posted! I’ll post my story one day soon, but I just thought I’d share with you guys a realisation I had last night while struggleing to fight off the incredible urge to call her (we’ve been fully broken up for about 3 weeks now and have talked once or twice in that time). My realisation was this, I can never call her, because she doesn’t exist anymore. Let me explain myself. I would dial her number hoping to talk to the kelly that I loved and who loved me 6 months ago, but she will never answer the phone because she doesn’t exist anymore. She is only a memory, the kelly who would answer is not the same person who loved me, she is not the same girl I loved and shared my life with, she has moved and changed and grown and will never be the person that I was hoping to talk to. So I am calling a phantom, I am calling hoping to talk to a person who will never answer the phone again. (I'm even thinking of putting a little sticker of the phantom on my phone to remind me in times of weekness! By the same token, she is no longer my best friend because….basically I know nothing about her now, I don’t know what she likes doing, what she has been doing, I don’t know if she’s got a boyfriend or girlfriend or even what type of person she would go out with. I don’t know who her friends are or what she’s into. Also in the few times I have talked to this new person she hasn’t been incredibly friendly, she has seemed selfish and egotistical. Basically what I’m trying to say is this: if I take away all the love and memories etc and simply go on who she is now and what I know about her since she left me, and I am honest with myself, she is not my best friend, best friends don’t treat eachother like this, and best friends don’t spend entire phone conversations talking about themselves and the cool things they’re doing, Best friends return text messages or emails. Now she is just a girl who I know nothing about. So why should I feel compelled to call her? She has made no effort to be my friend so why do I feel the need to be hers? So to all of you struggleing with this same situation, remember this the next time you are desperate to talk to your ex, They are nothing but a phantom now, they don’t exist anymore, grieve for them like they have died and move on, because the people they are now are NOT the people that we would call wanting to talk to, we know nothing about them anymore. So yeah, I don’t know if this makes any sense I’ll probably re-post it once I’ve edited it a bit and I’ll also post the whole damn story and all the things I’ve learnt one day soon. I’m not a bitter twisted man, I’m just a guy who’s trying to make sense of the hell I’ve been living for a while now!!! A
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