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sadchick83

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Posts posted by sadchick83

  1. On 5/17/2022 at 5:48 PM, Jibralta said:

    I was actually thinking about this and wondering if it would be a good route to go!

    Generally S-corps never hold property because they have to come out of the S-corp at market value.  Partnerships hold property.

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  2. First, you do not set up LLCs with the IRS.  You set up an LLC with your state.  You will eventually file taxes with the IRS based on the entity you selected.  An LLC can be a SMLLC - a single member which you will file on Schedule C of your individual tax return. Or and LLC can be a partnership(must have 2 or more people with the intention to set up a business for profit.  Generally LLCs do not pay taxes and the income from the partnership flow up to its members.

    In order to provide asset protection, you should have a separate bank account for you LLC business - do not commingle with anything other than the business.

    Insurance is good to have (not my area of expertise.  The LLC does not allow you to be gross negligent, so good to look into insurance.

     

    With a single member LLC you will not file a K-1,  one partnerships do this

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  3. I am going to disagree with the others. I think he does like you, but is just a shy person.  I have had guys approach me at the gym to chat with me or flirt.  I decide I am not interested in them and thereafter totally avoid them so they don’t get any ideas. I will use equipment at the other side of the gym in order to avoid.

    The gym is a great place to meet people, but from what I have heard younger people don’t think it is as appropriate as older people.

    Is there a bar close to the gym that he may frequent? By meeting at  bar by chance you could avoid asking him out.  It would be a great place to strike up a more personal conversation. Or, are there any gym sponsored social events? These places would be far less pressure from a dating perspective to meet up than an actual date.

    Also, how old is Jay and how old are you?  Maybe he is on dating apps and is not used to asking a woman out IRL.

     

  4. I’m just going to comment on the city itself, not your relationship.

    Montreal is a great city, especially in the summer.  However, it is a “French first” city, so unless you speak French you may have difficulty finding a job if you can get a work visa. If you speak France French you should not have any issues as Quebecois French is a bit slang compared to France. 

    Pros: Food is amazingly good, it is very cold in the winter and there is lots of snow, however, folks have learned to embrace the cold and have many fun winter activities.  I went to an amazing meal at a sugar shack once, I believe it was Joe Beef who set-up an eating venue in the woods that was beyond amazing. People there are physically fit and ride speed bikes AKA the Tour de France type a lot.  I recall 3 bike shop located on the corner of one intersection. There is a rich history in Montreal with religion and churches playing a main role in both history and architecture.

    Cons: it is very cold in the winter, like minus 30 Celsius.  Your thighs will burn if you run in tights. You might find this unbearable and Montreal recently outlawed the use of wood burning fire places. You will find it difficult to make friends unless you are somewhat set-up there.  The Quebecois have a unique sense of humor - you might want to watch Just for Laughs the French version with the hidden camera (don’t worry there are no words) to see if you can align with their jokes and slightly unusual ways.

    I’d say the hardest part will be the long winters, but that’s just me.

    Good luck with your decision.

     

  5. Sometime people simply change their minds.  She might have been on the fence about you, but for whatever reason, she changed her mind.  Maybe you freaked her  out with the spilling of the guts event.  You also deleted her number and admitted it to her. Personally, unless the attraction was really strong, I think you scared her away. I don’t want to be super critical here, but you sort of admitted you desperation to her.  I don’t think she found this attractive.  

    Just learn from this, never admit you are hopelessly in love with someone or that you (somewhat childishly) deleted their number.  

  6. Dating apps are not for everyone.  I was listening to  podcast over the weekend and  the author mentioned if they were successful, the apps would be bragging about their awesome statistics in actually meeting someone for more than just a hook-up. Make sense as they have a huge amount of statistical data. 

    Can you allude to what you look like? It might be helpful.

     

     

  7. 16 hours ago, Batya33 said:

    That was funny Batya 😁.  Honestly, the point of this was simply to give folks who initially posted an update.  People (including me of course) go in all kinds of directions when people begin to limit their communication.  To be fair, we did throw each other a few texts while he was gone and the last one I mentioned he should message me when he get back.

    The less contact wasn’t because we met in a bar - basically one of the few places to meet people IRL in my small town, or that he wasn’t interested, he was simply about to lose his job and had to focus on work at the other end of the country.

    And, not all guys are into Tinder and it is a bit unfair to compare 20 years ago to now.  Have you been on a Tinder date lately? I personally only use Tinder as a form of entertainment. It’s not “Just Lunch,” or whatever app people were on 20 years ago I can assure you. 

    Also, having lived in NYC recently, it IS different now than it was 20 years ago. So is dating. Get the book Nothing Personal by Mary Jo Sales - the book basically describes how dating apps like Tinder are doing serious harm to (some) women.  I actually find it attractive when a guy in my small town is not on Tinder.

    It’s different now, but I appreciate your personal comparison to mine. It was a humorous story. Finally, I would not kick a guy to the curb because he abhors Tinder and finds it dirty.  Just my opinion. 

     

     

  8. 1 minute ago, Jibralta said:

    He may have been dating someone else. He was living in a totally different place for five months. It wouldn't be the craziest thing to date while he was there.

    Hey Jibralta,

    I actually asked him that since I am not that into him anymore.  I asked him he was dating anyone and he said: “no way, not into getting syphilis from incestuous NY people/women.” I have never caught him in a lie, so maybe this is true.

    And, to be fair, I have dated 3 men since him, so him dating other people would have been fine by me.  My point here is that it’s OK to meet in bars, people have other things going on in their lives and it had little to do with him ‘not being into me.’  He was into himself and trying to save his job. Important to not find fault in ourselves when we have no idea what people are going through.

  9. Just wanted to follow up with this situation...

    This guy I wrote about contacted me on Thursday and we went out last night.  Our first date was almost 5 months ago and I was kind of put off that I met someone, went on a date, had a scheduled surgery the next day and had to recover for about two weeks. While I was in recovery, he had to travel for work in another state and I was really lamenting that I had bad luck with timing/I liked him more than he like me, etc.  I seriously moaned about this guy for at least a month to anyone who would listen.

    His company was acquired and he has been in NYC for almost 5 months, miserable as hell staying in hotels, dealing with crime, not able to eat healthy or work out and working very long hours. He really enjoyed our time together and felt it would have been pointless to message each other for the last few months when he had not idea when he would be coming back and thought we would just get angry/bored without an end date in sight. He messaged me within 24 hours of getting back in town.

    I kind of like someone else now, who also had to move out-of-town for work - many people have to go back now that the pandemic is over where I am located. The point is, we have no idea what is going on with people.  Work stress can kill a (budding) relationship. I truly had given up on this guy, so was very surprised to hear from him and go on a date.

    Not sure where this will go since he is a few guys ago, but as a woman I feel it is silly to put a timeline on things, like if he doesn’t get back to me within a week, forget it.  It’s ok to focus on other people, but we should not assume it had anything to do with us. Never gaslight yourself and assume he was not interested. People have to deal with issues we cannot imagine. They could just be distracted for the near future and it has nothing to do with you.

    Will see where this goes....

     

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  10. I would not put an excessive amount of thought into this issue since it seems she is already attracted to you.  I dated a guy who was not attractive at all for 6.5 years. He was short, bald and looked like a turtle. At least you have height.

    What he lacked in attractiveness he made up for in dress and deportment. He was very well groomed.  He had a small amount of hair which he had professionally dyed every 6 weeks.  He had impeccable taste in clothing and wore very nice suits (when suits were a thing pre-covid).  His casual clothes were a bit lame, but were always ironed and well-turned out. He had very nice skin and never had any ear or nose hair. Being your best self is important.  If you are a bit insecure about your looks, go to a proper men’s salon and make sure your clothes/appearance are at their very best.

    A woman who is gorgeous and puts time and effort into her appearance will appreciate a well groomed and decently dressed man.  If you are fit, accentuate your body with well fitted clothes and perhaps cool running shoes.

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  11. Meeting people on Tinder is not the best way to form a lasting relationship.  Sure there are exceptions, but basically it is a catalogue of hook-ups.  I also don’t think you should deliver yourself to him, if he really likes you he should come to you.  To be fair, you didn’t spend a lot of time together, so it may be hard to form a foundation for something more serious. Also, him telling you he would really love to come see you might just be a way to get you to sleep with him.  Some guys have all of the lines to get the end goal.

    Good you did not sleep with him.  I would try to date without anxiety and maybe a few casual relationships at the same time.  This way, if one falls apart, there is someone else you can date.  It’s the way many guys day anxiety-free. Put him on the back burner for now.

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  12. I don’t think the FWB situation is that bad as long as you both agree to it, however, he cannot also control you at the same time.  A FWB, if you choose to have one should be fun, light and you should enjoy each other’s company. Not for the faint of heart though, as someone is likely to develop feelings for the other.  

    You mentioned you tried dating this guy and it didn’t work, and now it seems like FWB doesn’t work either. Sounds to me like he wants you to be his only partner, while he plays the field and/or his insecurities are get the best of him. If you are happy to see him and he make you feel good, continue to see him.  If you feel stressed about him most of the time, cut your losses.

    If FWB is what you are after, find one that is a bit more respectful of you.  Maybe go on a date or see them outside of the bedroom that way its not just a hook up.

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  13. I am guessing you are not 100% over the ex and there is a little bit of uncertainty with your new guy which is causing you to step backwards in your healing. 

    Maybe you should loosen your grip on the new guy and try to date others while you wait for him to come home.  I would not want you to wait for him only to find out nothing is going to materialize.

    How long will he be overseas?

  14. She had the same jaw and nose when you started dating, right?  I find this a bit weird because usually when I meet someone, man or woman, the uniqueness of their features softens over time. I don’t notice a large forehead or nose as I get to know the person.

    I agree with greendots, you are simply not attracted to this woman and have fixated on her jaw and chin.  As someone else mentioned, if you break up you can never mention that it was her jaw and chin.  You will crush her. Cut her lose or you will start picking at another idiosyncrasy.

     

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  15. I have tried to go through the 4 pages of posts on this thread to get myself up to speed.  I am going through a similar situation.  I was with a man for nearly 7 years who in some respects was great, but left me burned and unable to date for quite some time.  

    While healing, I grew my hair long, lost 10 pounds, moved to a beach town and got as fit as I can be.  This healing process took about 2 years before the ‘dating Olympics’ commenced this summer. I also do not partake in online dating and prefer to meet men organically. 

    The likelihood of you meeting another guy through IG similar to the fireman is slim to none and you may want to start going out to meet people. I would be grateful for this experience as it was you first guy (I assume) after your ex.  Give yourself a pat on the back for this. Being with someone else can be difficult and take some time to come to fruition. I feel at this point, it will be easier for you to meet potential partners as the first, post-ex is always the most difficult.

    If the fireman is as attractive as you say and he is in fact a fireman, you are playing the ‘high stakes.’ Dating men who are superlatives are always harder to land - not impossible, just harder.  My suggestion to you is to start dating a few men at a time.  This way you won’t be crushed if they don’t reach out or meet you expectations.  Sometimes life just gets busy.  You waiting around for three weeks seems counterproductive. Ideally, you should have someone else to date to get your mind off of the fireman, even if he is not your absolute ideal guy.

    Do you live somewhere that you can go out and meet people?

     

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  16. You can’t live off of these breadcrumbs.  You liked her, asked her out and she said “no.” I don’t think give you a side look erases the decline. But, if you really want to know, ask her out again.  But if she rejects you again, you have to get over it.

  17. Just learn from this experience. And, don’t beat yourself up too much.  Sometimes we just fall for the wrong person.  Can’t help it, create/imagine/fixate on a relationship that is unrequited.  It can be just a chemical thing - you simply become attracted to someone without the right reasons.

    You might want to look up the term “limerence” as I believe it applies to this situation. There is noting wrong with what you did.  This woman strung you along.  Perhaps you are the type of person who would never string someone along?  I think if you are, you just don’t know how to read the signs of a player/person like this. The woman is a cheater and this likely isn’t her first go.  She loves the attention of having multiple men show interest in her, which is fine except the cheating part. She is a real piece of work and whoever said this above is right.  She will cheat again.  She has no morals.

     

  18. So sorry this happened to you OP, but, not terribly surprised. Several of my women friends are married and fully cheat.  And, it’s not a one time thing, it’s with multiple partners. It’s like stealing - amount and frequency seem to increase with time and favorable outcome.

    I applaud you for seeking legal help immediately and recognize it is not easy with children. Your wife is a selfish woman, someone who would risk her marriage and having her kids grow up without their father in the household for random sex is unbecoming behavior.

    She sounds ridiculously self absorbed. Common trait with these people I have noticed is that they are impeccably groomed for not apparent reason. They come to work on a Tuesday looking like they are going to a night club. Or are always botoxed/waxed/made-up to an inch of their life.  You life will be difficult for now, but the worst is over. You know she is a cheater and you are making strides for someone better.

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  19. OK, I originally signed up for ENA 10+ years ago for a guy who disappeared on his birthday long weekend.  When he finally finished up partying alone I had changed the locks on my house. I came to ENA asking if it was the right thing to do.

    The similarities are this:  I also went to therapy to try to work things out with a therapist who also suggested CBT. She also suggested I try harder in the relationship and perhaps bring him lunch to his construction site.  Sorry, but some of these therapists are completely out to lunch with their suggestions.  In hindsight getting rid of him was the right thing to do.

    He was also a mean gas lighter who ended up being a cheater.  

    Nothing you do on your end with therapy, CBT, etc. will fix him/ this situation.  Only you can fix this by leaving.

    Life is short.  Choose to be with someone who is delighted to see you, or even be alone for a while.  Spend time with family or get a dog.  The more time you waste with this guy the great damage you will do to your mental health and self esteem. And, the damage can be irreparable the longer you let the abuse continue.

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  20. I would not worry at all.  I have dated investment bankers who literally work 18 hours a day.  They never know their exact schedules.  You can be sitting at your desk all day doing nothing, ready to go home at 6 or 7pm only to have to work come in from overseas that keeps you at work until 3am. It makes dating plans nearly impossible.

    I was in a similar industry in NYC with crazy hours that left me physically and mentally exhausted at the end of the week. The last thing I would do is commit to a date days in advance, or even think about dating.

    I have dated a few younger guys lately.  Some will ask you out days in advance which I actually find stifling because I am in the middle of a work crisis and can’t chat mid day, and there are those who will ask you out Saturday morning/afternoon for Saturday night.  I actually prefer less notice because I don’t know what I may feel like 5 days in advance.  Sometimes I say no, I’m busy, but may include them in my plan and, if they decline, they simply ask me out a week or two, or even three weeks later.

    Men or women who are in time consuming training like medicine, banking, finance work/study crazy hours have very different concepts of time. Waiting 3 weeks to message or re-message is not a long time to them, although it may be for you.

    I suggest you loosen your grip.  You are putting a lot of pressure on this guy unbeknownst to him. Note: I would not give up on him at all.  But, I would date other people and keep yourself busy. Go on a study date with him, but I don’t think that is the best thing to do when you first meet someone. 

     

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