hurtntime

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself I've burden with the blame Trapped in the past for to long I'm Moving on I've lived this place and I know all the faces Each one is different, but there always the same They mean me know harm but its time that I face it They'll never allow me to change But I never dreamed home would end up where I dont belong I'm moving on I'm movin on at last I can Life has been patiently waiting for me And I know there's no gurantees But I'm not alone There comes a time in every ones life When all you can see are the years passing by And I have made up my mind that those days are gone I sold what I could and packed what I couldnt Stop to fill up on my way out of town I've loved like I should, but lived like I shouldn't I had to lose everything to find out Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road I'm movin on I'm movin on I'm movin on

None of those reasons apply to me, I'm a reserved guy, I dont let alot of people in to what I really am about. Because of this people don't really get to me, I was with my ex for 3 years and I let her in. She was my best friend and lover and I thought things were so perfect. I was incredibly happy, then she broke me, no ones ever broke me in my life. I have problems trusting because she said I love you they day before we broke up. I couldn't sleep the night before it happened because something didn't feel right. Again she lied to me and said I love you and everything was fine. Then she broke me, I don't let people in and I don't show them how I feel. When this happened it didn't matter I seriously couldnt stop crying for about 2 weeks. After that it slowed down very slowly. Anyway the reason I dont trust easily is because I'm scared sh!tless of being hurt that bad again. I never want to feel that again and its so hard to take that next step when your so scared. My hearts in hostage by my ex and she won't let it go yet.

depends what your trying to accomplish. If you honestly want to move on and put the past in the past. Then you need to let her go, reguardless of how much you love her still and how much you want to be with her, I found its impossible to do that and let go. I went down that road trying to be the better man and be there for her when she's dealing with her feelings. I'll tell you what happens, you get crapped on really bad and you hurt worse in the long run. As much as letting her go is going to kill you, you have to do it if you truly want to move on. Let her go and see how you feel in a week, see how she feels in a week. If she wants to be with you and you show no interest in being there its going to put things into perspective for her. Being friends is pretty much impossible, thats what I've found in every expierance I've had cause I've always tried to do it at the expense of my feelings.

hmm, candles, bathtub, strawberry's, wine, ice cubes, etc. Just an idea, I did that for my gf and she loved it. Very romantic and very appreciated, massage oils are also helpful.

It's not that I want to be with my ex, but yes we spent 3 years together and she was honestly my best friend. However, currently I simply dont have alot of time because I play baseball and go to school full time as well as work so I dont have a lot of spare time and at times I know it's extremetly difficult to be with me because of that. I know at times I can't give her the attention she deserves or needs. That's the tough part because she's really an amazing girl, but I don't want to hurt her because I cant give her all the things she needs right now.

Me and my ex broke up like 8 months ago, give or take a month. I recently got together with someone about 2 months ago. It started off real well, but recently something happened, I dont know what changed exactly, she's a great girl and she still makes me extremely happy however, I have been thinking about my ex lately. Not so much that I want to be with her, but the pain I went through when it ended. I'm curious how she's doing partially. I don't understand why I feel this now when its been so long. It's effecting my current relationship and I don't know exactly what to do about it because my girlfriend has pretty much fallen for me and I'm not that that level yet. I want to still be with her, but my feelings just arent as strong as her's and I think my recent feelings are holding me back from taking that next step.... Any ideas?

I can remember when my ex first dumped me around 8 months ago, the pain the grief I felt. I couldnt move on no matter how hard I tried, I just couldnt let go. After about 5 months I tried forcing it a little bit and started dating a little bit. As you probably could guess that went real well........not really though, I was still pretty hung up on it. She'd found someone new within days, why couldnt I just move on is what I kept thinking. Finally I took a step back because I realized I wasnt read, I was still grieving. Then the day came about a month ago where one of her roommates ended up contacting me, we had a talk about how things were etc. I was informed of alot of things that I knew were true, but I still needed to hear. Somewhere in the conversation I was able to let go, I was finally ready to to remember how to live again without her. It's a long painful process, but it does get better I promise you, I found someone new recently and were hitting it off pretty good. I hope this post will help someone to realize that it does get better. I know when I was grieving I heard it alot and I didn't think it was true. Believe me when I say this, its the best feeling in the world when you can say to yourself "I feel normal again"

The date went really really well, just a little weird because its been so long since I've actually done the whole dating thing. I dont really think I would take her back because I ment what I said and because of the things she did to me, I am however ready to take her back into my life as a friend if she apoligized for all the crap she put me through since we broke up. Its just alot to take in because she's been putting on this show about how she has never hurt a day since it happened even though it was more then obvious she was or she wouldnt be so quick to find a significant other. Just kinda confused because the girl I went on a date with is awesome and we both had a great time and we both want to do it again, but she's not really looking for anything right now and neither am I so its just seems real trival to date at this point but you have to start somewhere is the way I look at it.

Long story short me and my ex broke up around 4-5 months ago. We were together for 3 years. Two days after we broke up she was already sort of dating someone else. She admitted later that it was just a rebound. After we broke up or were in the process of breaking up I told her that if she slept with anyone else I would never take her back because she wouldnt be the same person to me(We were each otheres firsts) After the first guy didnt work out for whatever reason she went on this "I want to be single kick" which lasted a whole 3 weeks. She felt the need to call me and give me updates throughout the summer on how things were going for her. Her and I really dont speak anymore because I got sick of making the effort to be her friend when she was being cruel about it. Well two weeks ago she called me friend and somehow the topic of conversation became sex and she told him she had slept with her current boyfriend and she regretted it and didn't know what to do. I just found out about this last night so its just really messing with my head and I need a place to vent. Just really odd timing, I finally am past it enough to start dating again, I went on my first date since just this last Tues then this happens. Ug just bad timing I guess

wow, kinda sounds pretty familiar to my situation as well. It will get better with time I promise you.

Latley it feels like I'm as over as I'm going to be without actually moving on and I'm sick of being stuck here. I just want to meet someone so I can close the final chapter in a very painful period of my life, but I feel I won't ever be able to do this without meeting someone because I still have those nights where you miss having someone there. Where you miss sitting up and talking about nothing all night and all those other little things you do just because thats how it works out. And when you want to do those things again and you have no one to share them with you reflect on the painful memories of why you dont have someone to do those things with. I dont want me ex back, she doesnt want me back, we wont work anymore, were to totally different people now its just so annoying being stuck where I am. Anyone else ever feel this way? I know patience is a virtue, but its so hard waiting for that someone who you click with so well. It's worth it, just sucks right now you know.

Looks:4 Looks are intially what draws anyone in at first. Without an attraction there will never be an interest that draws me to them. Personality:6 Looks get me there, personality keeps me there. Its the basis of every possible good relationship because if its a good relationship every aspect of the person is there personality and you love every aspect. Education:1 Education doesnt matter. Intellgiance however does, just because you have a degree doesnt mean your smart and just because you dont have a degree doesnt mean your not smart. I personally cant handle stupid people well, they drive me nuts and this falls right into personality for me. I need someone that is smart enough to talk about all different kinds of things. Career:3 Career matters in the simple aspect of some careers are a relationship by themselves and the whole point of having a relationship is seeing the other person the wrong career=the wrong person(if you cant see them) just makes it to hard to have a good relationship X-factor:5 To me theres just something about certain people that just gives me the impression that I think there amazing in every aspect of the word. It draws me to them without every looking or saying a thing. Its just one of those things that you cant describe but I wont date anyone that I dont think is amazing

depends on the kind of relationship you have and the fears each of you has about losing the other. Takes a bit of recklessness and faith to take that step because most people fear losing the friendship they once had. I am currently stuck in the friendzone because its just how things worked out. If it stays that way who knows but the friendszone is a shitty spot to be when you want more.

The idea of someone always being there, knowing they will drop anything at any moment if you need them and they knowing they can count on you that much. An unspoken bond that never needs to be said, looking into there eyes and saying a million things in your actions without saying a word. Putting someone else ahead of you and doing anything you can possibly think of day in and day out to let that person know they will always be #1 to you. Thats what I think of when I think of love, all the little things that just click when you have it.

Your leaving out alot if you want help, why did you break up? who broke up with who etc. That could just be his idea of closure to let you know he wont forget, but he knows that it wont work and he's sorry he hurt you that kind of thing I dont know.

I have a different point of view then the previous posts. Yeah it seems like she doesnt have interest in you. But you never really said if you were still interested in her or not. I'm going to assume you dont since you said you contacted her to just be friends. If thats the case then yeah go for it call her hang out AS FRIENDS nothing more. If it means anything more then just friendship to you then dont do it. You have to get over it before you can even consider approaching it as just friends because being friends after a break up is so much harder then people think.

I'm sorry I think you misunderstood me, yes we did have a really good relationship for the most part when we had a relationship which took the better part of over 3 years and I have been single for about 5 months now so really I havnt been dating for 4 years. Being in a committed relationship and dating are 2 completely different things in my eyes because the comfort level you have in a relationship isnt always going to be there whne you date. Sorry for the confusion but yes we did have some really really good times, no were not friends now and I dont think we will be. She decided to start dating someone else 2 days after she dumped me and has decide to do pretty much anything to piss me off over the last 5 months so I finally stopped trying to be her friend about 2 months ago havnt really talked to her since. If she ever has hopes of recovering any kind of friendship from me she's going to have to start with the words "I'm sorry".

Breaker I understand what your saying, but the whole post is about her being a different person now and NOT the person that you fell so madly in love with. And if by chance your ex does comeback later, then thats a decision you make then, but you dont hold on now hoping beyond hope they comeback because if thats the case your only looking back to the past. Doing that and you miss the next great thing coming and before you know it your life just passed you by

I think I'm pretty much over my ex, every once in awhile I still miss her, but from what I hear thats normal and thats going to happen reguardless. So I'm curious when do you know your ready for the next step, I'm really thinking about starting to date again, but theres some doubt inside on whether or not I'm ready for it. Just seems real strange and unfamiliar I mean I havnt even really had to date in the last 4 years really. How do you know when your over it and your ready to start dating. I just feel a little uneasy about it.

couldnt have said it better myself, the one thing I can say is this, after we broke up I tried taking the high road and still being friends and this is exactly what I found waiting for me. A girl who cared nothing about me, but rather just wanted to use me to feel good about herself. She doesnt ever put effort into being friends so now she can kiss my @$$. Cause its over and done with

In my opinion it is very possible, from the situation it sounds alot like a big reason my ex broke up with me. We lived 3 hours apart and because of that it was really hard to satisify her needs. Obviously she hurt you when she said she couldn't be with you because she was going to be away for 6 months. That probably put you into an emotional state where you started the grieving process and started to move on. Now she's saying she wants you to wait, but you already started moving on and are unsure what to do. Correct? Well it is possibly, you have needs she's probably not meeting them, she hurt you by breaking up with you. This is a decision your going to have to make, good luck, its a tough one

your friendship is already ruined if you act different now, go for it. The worst thing you could possibly do is always wonder if you let the one get away

Me and my ex broke up almost 4 months ago, I feel I'm pretty much over it for the most part, yet last night before I feel asleep all I could think about was the pain that I felt intially after we broke up. I've been doing so well for so long, I'm in the process of possibly starting to date again. Yet every now and again I feel the pain of losing her, is this normal? Does everyone miss there ex every now and again. We dated for three years and she was with someone else 3 days later yet I wasnt mad. She basically just did everything in her power to piss me off all summer yet a very very very small part of me still misses her. Is this normal?

I'm guilty of that kind of stuff before, except I never cancelled for stupid reasons like he has been doing. From my point of view I was really confused about how I was feeling, we were 3 hours apart different schools. There were some girls I was attracted to here and that hadnt happened when I was with her before, towards the end of the year finals kicked up and I had alot of stuff going on with baseball so I rarely got to see her and I didnt really talk to her all that much because I avoided her on aim, or didnt really have time to talk so much other stuff was going on that when I did finally get some time I wanted to do things I really enjoyed and having a convo with her over the computer wasnt on the top of my list. At the end of the year the day before I moved back home I ended up hanging out with the other girl I was attracted to here for awhile and kind of got a feel for what she was about, that confused me more. We both moved back home for the summer so we were alot closer(distance wise). I was still really confused because now I talked to the other girl regularly and I was somewhat interested. Mind you nothing happened at all we just talked when we hung out just like friends do there was just some sexual tension. Anyway I ended up breaking up with her like a month into the summer because I needed to know how I felt about her. Me and her hung out all week and I realized how much I really cared about her. From then on she was always something that was really really special to me. Breaking up with her is something I had to do for me but it hurt her incredibly bad. I guess what I'm saying is I didnt know what I wanted in life I had been with the same girl for so long that it felt like I was just in the relationship because it was a comfort zone and I needed to know if that was true or not, guys get confused just like girls do and they dont know how to deal with it. I dont know if this is what your guy is going through or not because I never ditched my ex like he's doing to you, from what you say you dont really have alot in common and he sounds like an a$$hole. Hope that helps you atleast a little bit I know its hard to follow if you wanna talk more just message me.

I suggest you just let it take its course and talk to him once you've moved on. If he wants to chat thats fine, just dont really intiate anything. I tried being friends with my ex after we broke up and it didnt really work because we still talked like we did when we were together so I didnt ever start moving on and making progress until I just stopped calling. Sometimes they dont call, she doesnt and yes I do still miss her sometimes but I know there will be someone else, hang in there it will get better