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Careerchoice

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  1. The break up started 3 weeks ago and essentially concluded 2 nights ago.
  2. It's not degrading. I see no reason to form that conclusion. My recent ex was very intelligent. And I don't know what there is to see coming.
  3. I was with my ex-wife for ten years until I changed my mind on her. It helped me keep her. This was my first relationship since that break up. I don't think that's enough evidence to form a conclusion that it doesn't help me keep a woman.
  4. I just was with one of them. The break up happened two days ago. I'm not an expert at this. I'm still learning, but my results were consistently improving until I met my recent ex.
  5. I'm not sure what you mean by poor attachments. And I've had several real connections over the past 8 months or so. None of the other girls were good enough in my book, so I didn't get int a relationship with them, but the connections were real. I don't agree that I over-commit, but I'm not even sure what that means. I was with my ex-wife for ten years. I believe that contradicts any claim that I avoid emotional attachment. My learning from PUA has taught me to be more authentic, not less. And I seek real connection, not to avoid it. I don't know where that came from. You don't know PUA as well as you think. PUA has helped me get more girls, higher quality girls, and allowed me to form stronger connections with them. I'm going to keep doing it no matter what negative stereotypes exist about it by people who haven't truly researched it.
  6. Incorrect. The teachings of PUA that I learn from apply to all varieties of women. And I never act. It helped me get my ex-wife who I was with for ten years. And I don't know what you mean by a "woman of substance". Care to elaborate?
  7. I'm not going to derail this thread, but I have been involved in PUA since 2005 and I find all of your claims to be false. And I don't get attached so quickly. This was the first time it's ever happened to me. I'm 39 years old and have dated a lot.
  8. I don't know why I have that reaction in general. It's a complete mystery to me. If I could buy away this pain for the rest of my life for the $380,000 I have in my bank account, I would easily make that purchase. We went fast. This was the first time in my life I've done that. I'm not so naive to jump in so quickly, but she had just the right combination to suck me in. I thought I knew her very well within a month. Her feelings seemed to change in an instant.
  9. Thank you mate. I've been through several break ups, so I consider myself a bit of an expert on getting over an ex lol. I've been concentrating on work, talking with friends, exercising, doing a little bit of clothes shopping. My true distraction is researching how to get girls (PUA). Every time I start watching videos, I get a bit lost in the material. I need to get some new pictures and I'll put up my online profiles again. I know I'll get over her. She didn't treat me well at the end and it makes it easier to let her go.
  10. I almost died a couple of years ago from advanced cancer. The treatment was brutal. I've been in severe debt. I worked my way out of it. I've been betrayed by friends. Nothing compares to the pain I feel from losing my partner. Even my most recent relationship, which lasted only a month and a half, has taken a severe toll on me. For the three weeks it took for from our initial split to the very end, I could hardly sleep, barely eat, and my mind was consumed with thoughts of her. Even at this time, 48 hours after I made the decision to let go, I can't stop thinking of her. Break ups are my one true weakness.
  11. I suspect, if you are honest with yourself, you still have feelings for her and you would be doing yourself a disservice and preventing yourself from moving on and finding someone else if you went fwb. You can't be in two places at once and neither can your heart. You only have so much time on this earth. Use it to find someone who can give you everything you're looking for. That person lies in your future; not in your past.
  12. You can't feel like an idiot for something that was deliberately hidden from you. How could you have known? Impossible. So do not blame yourself. Just go easy. You will process emotions as time moves on. It's not even something you have to purposely concentrate on. It will just happen. Just know that there are many who have been exactly where you are. You are not alone. As far as practical advice, hang out with people. Force yourself to get out of the house. Go shopping, do well at work, hit the gym/exercise. Best case scenario, you start talking to some girls ASAP. Set up a Tinder account and go in with no expectations. Use these distractions to minimize the pain as much as you can. There's better out there for you buddy. I just got out of a two month very intense relationship where her feelings went from "on" to "off" in the matter of hours. Before that, I went through a devastating break up with my ex-wife which gutted me. I got over ex-wife and I am certain I will get over recent ex. It's only a matter of time.
  13. And girls say they want to take things slow, but we are all slaves to our emotions (guys too). Believe what she does, not what she says.
  14. If you're interested in her, you did make the wrong decision. The goal of a male-female romantic interaction is to enter into a sexual relationship. You had the opportunity to do so, and passed. You say you don't want to appear too available, but the context of this thought is completely misplaced. You don't want to appear too available before you have her interested. Once she's interested, this concept no longer applies. If she's asking you to have sex with her, she's already interested. You missed your opportunity. Most girls will move on if they present themselves to you and you don't seal the deal. If you want her, you should try to have sex with her again soon. Otherwise she's going to move on; if it's not already too late.
  15. Final update. We met on match.com. When we split a few weeks ago, I reactivated my account. She did the same. Once we started talking again on Monday, where she professed how much she missed me, etc., I suspended it again as we were working things out. Just out of curiosity, I logged in and it showed her as "online". So I texted her to let her know what I saw and to clarify what her intentions are. She said she deleted the app on her phone and that she doesn't know how that happened. I read online that Match can sporadically "re-up" profiles to seem more active than they really are. I suspect she is telling the truth, but her answers were very nonchalant. Like she could take it or leave it with me. I told her I noticed her contacts had become sparse over the past few days and it seems like she isn't even interested in working things out anymore. She blamed work. The answer was again nonchalant. I told her even when I was working like crazy a month ago, I still found a moment to check in with her, because I cared enough. No response for an hour. I then texted her that it seems like her work is consuming her at the moment and asked her if she has enough time in her life for someone like me. No response for another hour. I haven't been eating or sleeping well for 3 weeks so I texted her "I'm sorry, but this isn't for me anymore. I'm moving on. Please throw away my things." No response. I'm not texting her again. I don't believe she will, but even if she texts me, I will shut it down. I'm interested anymore. Although I learned a little about communication techniques in this thread, I believe I was right the entire time. Before the argument, her feelings either changed for me for no reason, or she wasn't for real about me and she wasn't able to keep up the charade. I was perceptive enough to notice it. At that point, I don't think there was anything I could have done to "save" things as her mind was made up. In retrospect, I believe the way she was treating me deserved the couple of ultimatums I gave her. It's not like I was threatening her for not making the bed. Don't call me names. Don't hang up the phone on me. Don't threaten me with the relationship and run off to bed. These are ultimatum worthy events. A poster stated that it takes a year to get to know someone and it's not fair to make assumptions before you know someone. I have a different take on it. Establishing boundaries and expectations IS getting to know someone, and this can only be done through arguing, whatever form it takes. I know it may not be popular with the members on this thread due to the negative feelings associated with arguing, but it's what must be done. And whether it occurs in a short period of time or many months, the process is the same. I don't have a year of "honeymoon phase" pretending to be nice to someone before I get to know who they are. None of us have that kind of time. So I skipped through the honeymoon phase and got to what I believe would have been the final result even if I would have been nice and patient with her, i.e., avoiding conflicts. I know all of you are rolling your eyes, but it worked with my ex-wife and I kept her interested for 10 years until I intentionally caused our break up. I see no reason why it wouldn't work with someone else who's meant for me. I'll keep looking under the rug.
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