Fudgie

I hear some radio ads about child development and autism, saying things like "is your child having trouble speaking and understanding you? Does your child have delayed development? Please see your doctor as it could be autism!" I think it's great such ads exist. I hope that a parent wondering about their child hears it and goes to their doctor or psychiatrist right away with their concerns. The sooner the better.

This is the autism awareness lanyard I wear at work: link removed Everyone else at my job wears clip-ons for their ID. Not me! Someone asked me today if it was a gay rights lanyard because apparently the rainbow colours confuse people *facepalm* Sorry, just wanted to share. I educated that person right away, I'll have you know!

Thanks for posting. It's by no means definitive but it's very interesting/promising!

I KNOW you can do this, my mom had 2 autistic kids and it was so hard but we all pulled through even though she had days where she would cry and didn't think she could go on. you sound so stressed, remember it doesn't all have to be done TODAY. Just focus on one or two things today and get those done or looked into and you're good. I think securing funding is the most important part, getting info on that, when it starts, what programs will it cover, etc. Just focus on requesting information today and don't fill it out today, wait til later, and go from there. Baby steps. ABA is one of the BEST treatment options, at any age, for autism, even if you start it later it can still make a HUGE difference. Your son needs this and you know it and I know you can do this and I know that you will do this because I know you want whats best for your son, you want him to reach his own fullest potential. I'm so sorry you're hurting.

Please hang in there, Vic. I know you can do this. Can you get the ABA stuff funded 100% after 6 months? It's so, so important. Yes, he will meltdown and my sister melted down for years but eventually she did get better and went and the payoff was so, so worth it. She is lightyears ahead of where they would she would be in her life and she has exceeded expectations. Now she is in a work program and I am so proud of her. It is never too late.

Yeah its not like it's a terminal illness!! Sent from Tapatalk

That's BS. My siblings have life insurance as do I. Sent from Tapatalk

Will your son be able to work at all in the future and the pension will supplement his income or will he be relying on that solely. I have heard of some Aspies getting "stuck" on the idea of having a disability and so I'm really glad that both your son and my brother don't view themselves as disabled but rather, just different. Sent from Tapatalk

My brother never really developed socially at all, verbal was always fine but socially, he never developed normally. My sister, on the other hand was "normal" in her speech development until maybe 1-2ish, I don't remember the exact age, somewhere in there, I was pretty young then too. All I know is, she went from babbling like her brother to silence and there was only either silence or screaming for years after that. It was like something snatched a part of her away. I feel that's something about autism that really bothers me and it feels very cruel. "Cruel" was the only word that came to mind. When my sister became "sick" (I've said that for years), it was around the time when I started to go to church. My mind was cemented though on the issue and I never believed in God because of my siblings, because I didn't want to believe in a creator that would be so cruel to them. If I did believe, I would be too angry at the world, it was easier to not believe. (Sorry if that offends, that was me at 5-6, seeing my sibs and the pain we all felt). It was just burned in my mind and no one could ever say anything to me to change it and now it's 20 years later and I still feel the same way and I still cry about it. hell I'm crying now. It's something I've accepted because it's how I was affecting by seeing their disorders unfold. So I guess, you are right, I have never "met" my siblings without autism, but I miss them. I miss what they could have been. I've never seen it but I miss it. I'm so sorry Vic. Now you got me crying -hugs-

I can hold on to a grudge until I die. It's not a good trait to have. I feel like holding onto hate is something that can kill you but unfortunately I still have a knack for that although I don't have any seething feelings at the moment. I don't know how my siblings do it. How do they do it?? I don't mean to sound religious-y (promise I'm not) but there is something in Buddhism called "Buddha nature", about being loving and open to all around you. I feel like my sibs are like that. I am truly not. Seriously, how do they do that?

My brother has an amazing capacity to forgive. After that "thing" that happened at his school (I think I messaged you about it, in 2012?), he forgave the professor. Very quickly. He didn't hold any grudges. My parents still hold a grudge against her. I have one too. But not him!! My sister, too.

Maybe this is a thing in my generation but I literally see red when I see people, mostly people my age, proclaim that they have autism (self diagnosed, entirely). The vast majority have never been to therapy, never taken drugs for it, never had any speech development delays (of course Asperger's doesn't have that) but they also lack the other hallmark signs of autism or Asperger's. No learning issues, and they have social skills to the point that they DO have friends that they made (without social coaching) and most have even dated! They say that they have autism because they are "socially awkward" and have "some weird interests". It makes me want to punch things! It makes me upset because there are many people out there, like your son and my siblings, who have LEGITIMATE autism and struggle with it. People pretending to have autism or deluding themselves into thinking they have because they want to feel like a unique little snowflake cheapens the diagnosis and makes other people skeptical instead of supportive. It's not some stupid social label that you can slap on yourself to make yourself feel "speeecciall". Social awkwardness/anxiety does not = autism. I am actually very awkward at times and I do not have autism. It makes me so angry. Sorry, just having one of those days I guess. BTW, the window decals you posted...I actually do have an autism decal on my car. It's of the rainbow puzzle piece ribbon and it says "autism awareness". It's for my sibs, really. I also have to wear an ID at my job and instead of using the hospital clip like everyone else does, I have a rainbow puzzle piece lanyard. It doesn't say autism on it but most people hear recognize the pattern. I will always be trying to educate others about autism until the day I die.

Yeah and it's not a wonder. They perceive and process sensory information VERY differently than the rest of us. It's all very intense and harsh. that's why they get overwhelmed and need time.

Yeah, definitely not a temper tantrum. I have worked with autistic children in the hospital I know that when they have meltdowns, I just remain calm and leave them alone for a while, let them sit and rock themselves and calm down. I don't touch or talk to them that much as they calm down because too much stimulation doesn't help. After I give them some time, I approach again and usually within several minutes, they are a lot better and return to their version of normal. Just have to let the computer "reboot".

I sometimes think that people don't fully understand how debilitating ASD can be. In a way, I think it's like being born without a certain sense, like being born blind or deaf. We take our social skills for granted but in reality, we are a very social species and those skills are imperative for us to function. I can't imagine being born without the ability to read people, or even to start a conversation. My sister had the language development halt and didn't talk for years. I try to explain to people that having ASD isnt about being awkward alone. Some people self diagnosed and think they have ASD because they have mild social anxiety. It's so much more than that. It can be really debilitating. It really rings true with me that they call it the "invisible" Disorder. Glad you made this journal Vic. I will share my observations too. Sent via Tapatalk

Maybe the clubs are different in the UK than they are here. I went to a strip club once when I was with my ex. He and his friend were with me, I wasn't alone. It was girls-only too, no male strippers, which I think is a good thing because I've heard that male strippers are very handsy and I think that's gross. Anyway, I was very nice to the girls and I made a point of giving each of them (there were about 4-5) a couple dollars each so no one would feel "left out", lol. Seriously, I divided up my dollar bills and made sure each got about the same amount. I complimented them on their outfits and told them that I thought they were really beautiful and they were really nice to me in return and told me that I was beautiful and I just smiled widely back. I was quite large at the time, about 60-70 lb heavier, and the girls were wary at first but then they could soon see that I wasn't going to berate them because that's not my style. It's their job. W****s are the ones who flirt and try to pick up married/attached men in the real world, you know? They were all really nice to me. I actually got more "action" than my ex (who was kind to them as well but he was reserved) and his friend (Mr. PIG) in terms of attention and whatnot, even though his friend threw down more money, which I thought was hilarious. ("Ha, I'm a female and get more female attention than you!") I think that's because I wasn't being a pig and treating them poorly. Just a thought. My ex got a private dance. He let me pick the stripper. The one I wanted to pick (she was beautiful and was the kindest to me) was busy with someone else so I had to pick someone else. She was pretty too but had a bit of a 'tude. Oh well. I put the money in her hand and I said "my bf wants a private dance. Take care of him okay?" and I smiled and she smiled back. He was gone for about 10-15 min, which I guess was standard. He told me what happened later and to be honest, it didn't sound that interesting or provocative. No, he wasn't lying to me either. Would I go again? No, I don't think so. There are a lot of troubled souls in the area. I understand that some do it for the money (to fund college or drugs, or whatever) some just like the attention, I don't know, it's not something I really care to support. It wasn't the girls that grossed me out - it was the clients. Most men there had wedding rings on and they would come alone or with friends and pay for private dances. I didn't feel comfortable being around that. That made me really uncomfortable...isn't that weird? Lol. The women were very nice looking and all but yeah, not something I'd do again, although I don't regret going in the least.

I've been having an extraordinarily bad few days (night shifts, dealt with some deaths including a family friend death, etc) so I need to remember to be grateful for things. -The recent death of a family friend means I get an excuse to make my awesome banana bread for my loved one. I love to bake but no longer for myself (can't eat sweets), only for others. So I'm happy I can do this to show her that I care and I think she will enjoy it. -having a couple days off now from work, whew -my lovely family, as always -autumn is almost here! Yaaaaay! -having a car... I forget how lucky I am. -my apartment is actually quite nice, it's nice living alone and doing my own thing... -lovely "special someone" -perfect scrambled eggs! I made them this morning. Fluffy, slightly pasty, creamy. Nom. Wow I feel better already.

I'm having a difficult day so maybe this will help me. I'm thankful for my relatively good (current) health. I feel better than I have in years, so much energy. I forget how bad I used to feel sometimes, I need to remember that. I'm thankful for my living standards - I live pretty well despite not making much $$ at the moment. I'm thankful for having been born into a wonderful family. I love my family. I'm extremely thankful for a (very) special ENA member who has touched my heart and reached into the dark shell I've been living in, telling me that it's okay to come out, encouraging me to do better, be better...maybe the world around me isn't so dark after all. I'm on the right path.

Inferno is a hard read but very rewarding.

Siddartha abandoned his wife and child when he began his spiritual journey. I say it was worth it because he bettered all of humanity. The life he was living was a very wealthy one but he was not happy and he was so sheltered. In order to make himself and the world better, he had to make the sacrifice. From my understanding, there was only 1 child, no siblings.

I've knitted too and jenny's right...the first inches are always stuff/tight. It gets better as you go on. your scarf won't end up all tight like that.

I think the medium sized one will work fine. Heck, I even have some other scarves that are made with thicker (larger) yarns but the yarn is soft and lightweight, so I don't really notice the weight at all. I haven't ever had a "not soft" scarf but I'm sure some exist. I'm sure you'll love it, greywolf!

It's a good book that documents the tragedy at Columbine, as well as the motives/mindsets of the killers. Very interested read. By David Cullen, I believe.

I feel bad for the "non virgins" girls you screw around with before you get to the real thing. They are someone else's "dream girl" too.

Yeah I guess you're right. I do think most people do end up in nursing homes regardless of family. Most people are afraid of dying alone and things related to that. my boyfriend isn't afraid of dying alone exactly, but is afraid of what would happen to his doggies because in all likelihood, if he wasn't with me, it would be several weeks or months before someone would find him. I've been a witness to many deaths and I'm not afraid of it. Personally, I'd like to be alone for it and be conscious as much as I can, but I know I'm in a minority here. I honestly can't see myself living past my 60s (I have some health problems that put me at increased risk for cancers, cancer runs in the family, etc.) but whatever happens, happens. I can't say if I will be lonely, but if I am, then I will have to deal with it then. I just think it's risky to assume that just because you're with someone your age and/or have kids, that you'll have someone to be with in the end. It doesn't always work out that way...someone could get sick/die first, the kids could live far away, etc. I've spent most of my time in my teen years with the elderly and taking care of them so it feels right to me to do the same with my S.O (at least in the future that is).. I know most people my age (and even older) wouldn't be as willing but I think it's because we all have different life experiences. Being around elderly people makes many people feel uncomfortable because it reminds us of our own mortality and the many possible ailments that await us in the future. I don't know, I guess I'm just odd.