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Everything posted by Fudgie

  1. I'm so glad your cousin is doing OK and on the mend. The one silver lining is that as time has gone on, we know how to treat COVID better. We used to throw more people on ventilators. Now IV steroids (brings down swelling and inflammation FAST) are used and are very helpful in keeping people off breathing machines as well as avoiding permanent lung damage.
  2. Did your cousin get on a ventilator, bolt, or did she do OK with supplemental oxygen only? (through the nose or a face mask)
  3. Moving can be really scary and, frankly, I hate doing it. Don't worry about how it was when things were better. It's not that way now. The past is a moot point. Think of how miserable you've been in your current living situation and focus on the benefits of being on your own.
  4. I wanted to add, the stress of being on your own, I think, is a lot less. Yes, you are responsible for the bills but you aren't waiting on some twit to pay up. You are in control. That can be scary but it's also very freeing. You can adjust your habits and spending accordingly to make ends meet as well. You don't have to worry about a roommate blowing half of their rent money on alcohol and not paying up. And, of course, it's safer. You don't have to deal with guests you don't like and you don't have to ask anyone's permission about anything.
  5. Haha yeah I get that. I know you are not worried about side effects. I hate the fear mongering I see a lot.
  6. The truth is, some vaccines do have side effects. It doesn't mean it's poisoning you, just your body's reaction to it as it has an immune reaction. I never feel good after the flu shot. No, the flu shot does not give me the flu but I usually get a sml fever and some body aches for a couple days. Whatever, it's worth it. I've had the flu and it SUCKS. What we know about the covid vaccine, Oxford one I'm speaking of but also the others, is that it does come with some mild side effects. Headache, body ache, low grade fever, and general malaise have been reported. Guess what? Better than getting covid. I swear, some of the adults I've seen locally crying about adverse effects of the pandemic precautions: tHiS MaSk tOO hOT, fLu vACcInE cAuSe OuCHy HeADhUrt It's f'ing ridiculous. Maybe I'm just cranky after a night of vodka and video games but Christ, before this pandemic, I never realized how many whiney, childish adults we have in this country. People crying about having to wear a mask to the grocery store and not being able to eat a cooked bird on one day out of the year with 50+ people in 4 different generations. , get over ourselves, I want to tell so many people to "suck it up buttercup". I'm so desperate to get things back to normal safely. You could tell me that the vaccine was made of clubbed baby seals and misery and I'd still roll my sleeve.
  7. It's worth it. Living alone, you can have a much smaller place and your utility bills will be lower as well. It's worth the peace of mind, IMO. I haven't lived with roommates since college. I'd rather live in a shoebox-sized apartment than deal with roommates again. The boost to your mental wellbeing is simply wonderful, can't recommend it enough.
  8. In my facility, if you are COVID+, you CANNOT, I repeat, CANNOT come back until you test negative. This is because we have so many vulnerable people and don't really have the isolation areas needed to keep COVID+ patients in. If someone is having mild symptoms, I get a COVID+ test done on them, close their door/start precautions, and await results. Positive cases get shipped out IMMEDIATELY. Anyone with moderate/severe symptoms gets sent out immediately because my facility doesn't have the resources to handle that. I get that the hospitals are crowded but I get angry when the hospital calls me and tries to get me to take them back. Thankfully, with our "no COVID+" rule, I can throw that policy out to them.
  9. Many of the care homes in my area have suffered outbreaks. The facility I work in (sort of half care home, half something else) hasn't had patient deaths but we've had cases, both patients and employees. In the US alone, over 100k COVID deaths have been patients in long term care/nursing home facilities. It's really heart-breaking.
  10. Stuff like that makes me feel so thankful that my grandparents (I was close with them) are not alive today to see this mess. I miss them but wow, I'm glad they missed out. My grandmother in particular would have been so upset. Her family and friends were her life and she would have fallen into depression (she had it, plus anxiety, badly).
  11. The average age of first marriage is definitely increasing. I'm 31, went to a very small HS so I'm still in contact with a bunch of people. I'd say maybe a bit more than 1/3 of people that I graduated with (my age) are married now. The vast majority who aren't married in long term relationships, like there are only 5 of us who are single at this time. I bet by the time I hit 35 or bit later, most everyone will have married in my group. I feel like by the time I hit 26, most everyone I came into contact with at that age were coupled up (married or not). So maybe the age of first marriage is rising but I do still think that people tend to have serious relationships for years prior.
  12. I don't get it either, pippy. I get "covid fatigue" but this virus isn't going away yet. It doesn't take breaks so why should we until it's under control?
  13. I agree, eye protection is so important. This virus is so contagious. However, it's so hard to get proper eye protection for many. I have a shield that I use at work and wipe down but I'm going to start wearing it to the grocery store if I have to. At this point in the pandemic, in many communities, contact tracing is useless. The virus is spreading at such a rate that tracing is largely useless. It's so widespread, it's hard to know WHERE it came from. I really hope your family is going to be okay, Sher.
  14. I have heard, yes, but I have so much doubt re: distribution capabilities. I am a healthcare worker in a high risk area so I, in theory, will get jabbed first. But I just don't know. I fear getting sick or spreading it to my patients before a vaccine.
  15. Not good where I am. We have been placed under more restrictions, hospitals are full at this time, very few ICU beds. Funny you don't hear the media talking too much about it but that's what is going on and I only know that as someone "on the inside". I have been exposed at work due to an employee that tested positive. I didn't find out until after a week. Yes, that's right, our tests don't come back until 5+ days now. Functionally useless. One of my patients got very sick, we aren't sure if she had it. Her test will be delayed as well, already talked to the lab. It's no use. The cases just keep going up. This vaccine can't come quickly enough. I don't feel that I can go to the grocery store at this time either. I may spend Christmas alone and I'm dreading it.
  16. It's really backwards, IMO. Your body, your choice. Should someone discuss with their spouse their choice to get sterilized? IMO, sure, but the responsibility of doing so lies with the partner, not the doctor. What if someone is in a relationship that is abusive and is trying to get out but reproduction coercion is a factor? Person has a few kids already, doesn't want more, wants to get sterilized as a way to protect themselves while they make moves to get out of a bad situation. Unfortunately, our litigious society makes things hard to change.
  17. boltrun, It's true, as you know, for men to get sterilized too. My dad got snipped in his 40s and his doctor REQUIRED that my mom was both notified AND gave her permission! What the heck. I heard that and I was shocked! Does my mother own my dad's sperm? Why was her consent necessary for him to make a choice about HIS body? Times are changing for sure. I had a partner when I was sterilized but the doctor told me "I don't really care if he's for it or not, it's your body!"
  18. I can concur that it's a real pain in the behind for a childless, young woman to get sterilized. I was (surgically) sterilized in my mid 20s. I have no children and have never wanted to have one but it was hard to find a doctor. I eventually did find a doctor but you know, I think I let him think that I was kind of dumb/ambition-less and I also realized that he knew members of my family so I didn't tell him that I was part of my family. I had a feeling if he knew, he'd be reluctant. Whatever, I got it done. PID and IUDs is actually a really, really big risk. I can understand wanting to encourage monogamous women in good relationships to have it. There are other methods that may be better for someone who is not monogamous. Implanon comes to mind. You get very good protection but nothing that would "wick" an infection way up into the uterus. The problem, where I see it, is not with doctors but with our litigious society. A woman should be able to sign away her right to sue *if she changes her mind*. Medical malpractice is one thing but I don't think young women should be suing if they changed their minds later. You know what, too bad, so sad. You make a choice as an adult and you have to live with that. I highly doubt that I will ever regret my choice to become sterile but if I do, that is my own burden to bear and I will deal with it the best way I can.
  19. I agree, Batya. I think the criticism/stereotypes are wrong but I don't think it's anyone's responsibility to "build anyone up". I think it's better not to comment on others' lifestyles in real life because it's just unproductive. I certainly don't. I don't want to hear someone's thoughts on my lifestyle (good or bad, has no effect on my choices) so I certainly don't say anything to others about their choice to get married/have kids. That's their choice and I don't have anything to say. I think the memes about "wE WOmEn nEeD tO BuiLD eACh oTHer uP AlWayS" is well-intentioned but misguided. There would be no rallying cry for endless compliments from other random women if women weren't so busy ripping each other down all the time. Cease the negativity and there you go.
  20. Nearing 5% where I am, if not over. There are so many cases and our hospitals are filled up. It's really scary. Hoping I won't get pulled back into ICU. I'm not going to be able to celebrate the holidays with my family in a typical sense. Imagine a fire outside in a pit, me in my down-filled winter jacket, shoveling turkey into my face from a paper plate. I have no idea what Christmas will look like but I doubt I will see my family. My friends are mostly out partying/dating. I haven't seen anyone or gone anywhere that wasn't work or something like that since March so I am still very isolated. Seeing a vaccine on the horizon is the one thing that is keeping me going. I know we are in the home stretch of sorts. I just need to hang on for a bit longer.
  21. Re: stereotypes, I don't mean to gripe but sometimes as a female, it feels like we can't really win. No matter what path you choose, there will be some busy-body nobody who looks down on you for it. Stay at home Mom? Lazy, do-nothing, unambitious. Parent who works? Uninvolved, selfish, "kids raised by daycare" Non-parent? Immature, mentally ill, selfish. No one can do it "right". I work in a female-dominated field. I occasionally hear some snide remarks ("Pfft you say you're tired, you don't have kids!") but I just smile and say "you're right, I could be more sleep deprived, good point" and that shuts them up. But you know what, I hear bad things said too about stay-at-home parents and working parents. So many women just s__t all over each other. It's awful. We each have to live our own lives as we see fit, and that's going to look different for every woman...marriage/no marriage, straight/gay/bi/pansexual, kids/no kids, FT work/PT work/no work. It's sad that people keep tearing each other down for doing things a little differently.
  22. That's unfortunate. I'm not really sure how to address that. And yes, with the COVID situation, his desire to have all of the answers is not going to be met. So it sounds like he doesn't bring up COVID on his own but if it comes up via you or someone else, then that's when he blows up? It also sounds like his YouTube habits are making things worse for him but he just can't stop watching them. I know you probably won't do this but if my sister were acting similarly and I were head of household, I'd probably use the router's parental controls to limit access to such videos and then see if her temperment improves over the course of a week and go from there. And if she asked why they weren't loading, I'd blame a bandwidth issue (not technically a lie). Again, that's just me. He is an adult but he's still in your house and if you feel that these viewing habits continue to wreack havoc on his mental health, no one is going to judge you for attempting to enact some safeguards, even if they are stealthy.
  23. OP earlier said something about liking profiles to get a "dopamine rush". I sense a definite desire to "scratch that itch" in terms of desire to be poly and looking at other people. Not justifying it or saying it's okay, just seems like a likely explanation. OP, I'm glad you didn't sleep with anyone from the app. Use this experience as a teaching point that yeah, monogamy is not for you and that it doesn't work with someone who is monogamous and that's okay.
  24. It sounds like you two need a clean break from each other to fully move on. You're getting better, she's in a better place, it's all looking up but you two both need to sever that connection to fully move on. You're not the monogamous sort and that's okay. Poly is becoming more and more well-known as a potential options for relationships. Monogamy is often seen as the "default" but let's face it, many people aren't wired that way. I agree with DF - embrace who you are and find people who feel the same as you. Your ex clearly didn't want to give the poly thing a fair shake and that's within her right, but if that's how you roll, then you're not going to be happy with someone like her.
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