stillhopeful1

Today marks day 20 NC for me. While it is getting somewhat easier, I still have my difficult moments. I guess my biggest concern right now is that while I try to tell myself that she is not coming back, in an effort to temper any hopes, I know I am only trying to fool myself. So, 20 days NC and still nothing from her. Wish I knew if she missed me. That would at least make it a little easier. From where I sit I have very limited opportunity to know what is going on with her, which is a good thing I guess.

Today marks day 13 for me! While I do feel a sense of accomplishment (longest period of NC for me), it has been really hard the last few days. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing how terrible I felt when I broke the NC before only to find more and more mixed signals....ugh! Enough of that!! Nose to the grind stone and pressing on!

5 days of NC. I was doing so much better prior to her 1am text on easter morning. Prior to that I had been 10 days NC and since then I feel like I am back at square 1. I find myself reading into things like why did she text me happy easter at 1am? Odd time to do that I think. I know she wasn't out, it was her weekend with her son. Well, that one text wishing me a happy easter and hoping I was doing well lead me into this funk where I made the mistake of breaking NC whether she juist happy easter or was fishing for something else and yes I regret it! So, back at square 1 and day 5.

I've been LC for about a month now. Had achieved 10 days strict NC until she sent me a happy easter text at 1am Easter morning. I was stupid enough to repsond to this text convinced it meant something for her to be texting me at such a strange hour. In the end maybe it did, maybe it didn't mean anything. Regardless, back to NC and today is day 1.