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About bfg9000

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  1. This weekend was rough. Regardless of the obvious incompatibilities, I'm mourning for a lost future and feeling lonely. My friends and family have been great. Does anyone have any comforting words or advice? Just trying to figure out how to heal.
  2. Yup, can't delete but that's ok. Thanks, everyone. There's actually a sense of a burden being lifted. I'm also somewhat angry over the fights we've had (now that I let myself feel anger), but hopefully that'll go away soon.
  3. Basically. We just broke up a few minutes ago. He said I wasn't meeting his emotional needs. I agreed. As my friend says, it's FTB (for the best). I'm going to delete what I wrote in this thread soon, because it's too personal. Thank you to everyone for the advice.
  4. He's done both. It hasn't gotten better yet. In the meantime, I feel like he begrudges me for being happy.
  5. Both physical and emotional availability. He calls himself "emotionally needy." If he has a bad day, he really needs to be able to talk about it that night. Several times I've gotten off work and immediately fallen asleep, apologizing later and saying we'll talk the next day. This is hurtful to him. He has a lot of "bad days," which is probably the problem. He is not happy with himself or his job. I find it draining to need to be a constant source of emotional support. Maybe someone else could be, but after 1.5 years, I'm realizing that what I would brush off as part of my day constitutes
  6. Sigh. In theory he is proud of what I do (or at least says he is), but in practice there has been friction when I actually spend time doing it. Saying that he ranks 14th on the priority list. Or that I do 98% of what my boss wants and 3% of what he wants. Again, drawing false equivalency between professional and personal. I'm aware that I'm not making this relationship sound very healthy. It probably won't be a relationship for much longer.
  7. link removed He did not apologize until I brought it up the next day and told him it hurt my feelings. At the time it happened, I said, "That's pretty mean," and got no response. The night continued as usual.
  8. Nope, he's not a doctor. He's an engineer who wants to be a professor, specifically because he wants flexibility for a family. I'm going into physical medicine and rehabilitation, which actually is flexible (the joke is that PM&R stands for "plenty of money and relaxation"). Problem is, I do many other things on the side, including journalism (I have a fairly successful writing career already). My work in medicine and writing excite me and drive me. But my friends and family have never mentioned feeling the way he does. I pride myself on being loyal to my loved ones. Which makes me
  9. Thanks for the comments. I don't think it's partly true, but mainly because it hasn't been tested yet. We've discussed the future, and it's clear that the emphasis I place on my career is higher than the emphasis he places on his. I don't know what this would look like for a personal life long-term, but so far I've done my best in trying to balance the two. There's been friction in the past about his perception that he will always be second rung on my priority ladder. I think it's unfair to rank priorities this way, and I don't think my actions support this. I do feel as though the t
  10. Pursue as in, have a larger discussion if he has some bottled resentment about my job that manifested as that comment. I guess I wonder if a comment like that can really be said in a vacuum.
  11. Hi all, My boyfriend of 1.5 years and I were on a date night when something strange happened. Harry Chapin's "Cat's In the Cradle" was playing in the background, and out of nowhere, my boyfriend said to me, "That's going to be you." I'm 27 and a medical resident. My career is very important to me. I don't have children but hope to someday. If your boyfriend, said this to you, how would you address it? I found the comment mean-spirited (kind of a below-the-belt insult), and it came out of nowhere (we had been having a good night otherwise). I told him it hurt my feelings, and he agreed i
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