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Silver Member
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  • Birthday 12/06/1969
  1. Women like men with resources. You need her resource, the apartment. What resources can you offer her? You are not in a position of strength here, I think. You can try to pursue, put don’t spend a lot of effort in what Is inherently an uphill trek. This is a very steep hill.
  2. On another thread, you said “I've been so emotionally shutdown my whole life, and through our relationship I started feeling again, so I felt fears from past trauma and my brain didn't know what to do with it.” You need to work on yourself. Only then can you be the husband your wife needs. A good husband leads, especially in providing his wife with resources. Right now, I don’t think you are where you need to be for the marriage. Note that your wife has an emotional connection to you. Make too many mistakes and the emotional connection is gone. It almost never comes back for w
  3. This is pretty much the opposite of what all husbands want. This is pretty much the opposite of what is important to all husbands. I would bet money you could fix things with a five letter word. Begins with ‘Y’ and ends with ‘Y’ AND that is all I will say about that.
  4. Women seek men with resources, eg spend time, good listener, protection from unwanted male attention, and financial. Know that as her friend, she already has access to your resources. So you really have nothing more to offer here. Telling her how you feel will not change her access to your resources. Women want men that will lead in certain areas and share all their resources. Women are competitive too. Women typically vet their men before getting into relationships too. Use this knowledge to your advantage. Know also that at your age, your resources are inherently limited. A
  5. I would text some supportive things, like “the situation is stressful, but we can get through this together.” His job is to provide for you and it seems like this job is worse than he expected. Tell him you are here for him. Tell him you want to be with him on New Year’s Eve. I think deep down, you two have difficulty seeing eye to eye on money. Let him know he can provide for your without having a high stress job. That you will support him if he wants to go to an easier job. Look into YNAB. Check out Mr. Money Moustache’s site too. Just to get ideas for talking points.
  6. Sometimes to become a great person, you have to some failures in your life. Learn from this and you will come out much better than those who never even had an accident. As for your parents, this may be hard to hear, but you are becoming a young adult. Ignore your parents and focus on becoming a responsible young adult. Ignore the desire for their approval. Show them in every action that you are determined to be a responsible, successful adult. But do all of this for you, not for them. They will turn around when they see your actions. Seriously, this situation is not as bad as it seems.
  7. Ask him for help with things, as many things as you can think of that involve the 2 of you spending time together. Every time helps you, get close, and give him a good, long hug as you say thank you. Don’t let go too early. Biology should take care of the rest.
  8. This girl has high interest and does not like competition. Relationships where the female has high interest are the best to be in. I would try and get back with this one. You made her question your level of commitment by getting together with a female friend. Apologize, tell and show her your level of commitment. Start discussing taking the relationship to the next level and she will follow you. See if you can get her to cancel Italy to be with you.
  9. Why waste your time on a female friend? There are lot’s of women out there looking for a relationship. The more time you spend on this one, the more women you are missing out on.
  10. A 19-year-old female has so many options...the odds of you getting her back are not in your favor. Best to move on.
  11. 1) Most men don’t have girlfriends until much later. At 17, you are doing great! Myself, I didn’t have a girlfriend until my mid-20s. 2) Your value as a man increases with education, work experience, and career. Do well in these areas and you will attract women. Stay focused in school and go to college. 3) Read the book “How to win friends and influence people.” The book will change your life. 4) Stay fit, lift some weights. You don’t have to go crazy, focus on overall fitness. Buy a couple of nice pants and nice shirts. Wear them when you are out on special occasions. This will a
  12. A woman is physical when she has an emotional connection to a man. No physical, no emotional connection. When a woman looses emotional connection to a man, it never comes back. Game over. Move on and date. She is no longer loyal to you. Loyalty, honesty it’s all out the window now.
  13. She changed her mind because the guy she wants just isn’t that interested in her. So she went back to good, reliable you. You are her safe harbor until something better comes along. Life is too short to live this way. Dump her and go on 2-3 dates every weekend for 6 months. If after 6-months, she still wants to be with you date her, but not exclusively. The sad truth is that she will desire you more only if you dump her and date others. Don’t be that guy that gets walked all over.
  14. OP, when I was your age, I was married and in a really bad marriage that I never should have been in. While the bad marriage served some purposes, the price was too high to continue. Of course, I wouldn't admit this to any one. What I am trying to say is that people are not as happy as they let on. At 44, I finally met my soulmate and I married her. I'm at the end of the first year of my second marriage and it's better than I ever imagined. Love takes time. Don't rush it. Also, a huge, huge recommendation. 90% of how we got where we are is from our parents and our childhood. The so
  15. As a man, I have to disagree here. It's primal. It means the man doesn't want her to be with other men or interested with other men. It means he wants exclusivity on her part. Not necessarily a commitment on his part, but not what you think it means either.
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