BNelley35

My ex broke up with me about 4 weeks ago. We are one of those couples that will go out for a couple weeks, breakup, then in a couple weeks go back out again. I'm a senior and she is a sophomore so I'm relating to her not being ready for a relationship. The last breakup I told her I never wanted to see, hear, or think of her ever again. Nonetheless about a week later she texts me asking if "we can be friends". At first I didnt answer...I told her not to, I've been stuck on this girl that I love so much for so long, and all she did was hurt me. I told her sure why not (im a sucker), but luckily the next week was spring break. I remained no contact, and for the first time in a long time I was getting over her. Around the end of the spring break her bestfriend calls me and says that my ex really misses me right now, and would even want to be friends with benefits or something to that. I told her how I felt that just being friends would hurt me, but in the end I decided to be it anyways. The next weekend we hung out, hooked up here and there, but still it hurt knowing I couldn't really truly have a connection with her, and I still like her (shes such a perfect girl for me). The next week I asked her to the prom and she agreed. Could anyone tell me why she does this to me, why not just go out and be with me. I feel as if I could never tell her I dont want to be friends becuase I love her and I need her in my life somehow, yet it hurts at the same time. I also feel that all this friend stuff might turn her off to me and not allow me to hookup with her anymore...I guess I'm just confused.

I had been on and off with my ex girl for the last year or so, but now we're just really doing the friends with benefits thing. This last weekend for the first time I saw her get high...and it killed me. Me loving her combined with the fact that I'm anti-drinking/smoking, really tore me apart. I used to love her for who she was, and I know this doesnt affect it that much, and most of you will say it isn't a bad deal, but heres my thinking: She can do what she wants, its her life, and I'm not gonna control anything. I go to the gym everyday, I'll play DII basketball, and I eat healthy, and I dont do need drugs in my life so thereforeeee I'll make sure I dont ever see her do it around me again. In general tho I havent really shown that I dislike it, like I laugh at her jokes when talking about it etc, when deep inside it kills me. Sorry if this post is confusing, the bottom line is what are my options here since it does hurt me to see it, or even know she is doing it now. And no damn posts about how marijuana isnt that bad for you, ive heard enough bullshit in my life already.

This girl burned me multiple, multiple times (the last breakup was our 4th!)...and I've done the 'no contact' thing with her these past 3 weeks after we broke up. She told her bestfriend who I talk to occasionally that she really, really misses me and wants to be good friends or even friends with benefits. I'm really confused...whats the best advice here...I still like her so it would be really hard to be friends you know...I need a new girl and her being around isn't what I really want or need, but some part of me does...Please help * also I told her friend to tell me ex that if she wants to be friends to call me herself...as I won't be contacting her.

Well last 3 days have been great...I'm participating in a challenge from a different BB doing 150 approaches to girls in a 150 days which is working out really well. I've kept absolutely NO CONTACT with my ex girlfriend for 2 weeks...I told her when we broke up (for the 3rd time) to never text, talk, call, or think about me ever again. She said no to my senior prom, and dumped me 3 times, why would I want her to? Today she texts me after 2 weeks of ignorance between us saying "Can we be friends". I was pretty shocked with the text. Obviously I'm on her mind, but I really didn't know what to say back so I kept it at that. What should I do? Be cool with it and say "yea lets be friends (whcih I dont want to be cause I still have feelings for the bitch)...Tell her reasons, or just ignore her still? Any other ideas? Thanks in advance, just dont how to respond to her.

Well I thought about what I was doing, how I was acting and decided to cancel it all. I took Morrigan's (?) advice from a dif post and sent her this text... "Hey, just wanna say nevermind about tonight. Also sorry for the sister thing, dumb thing for me to do (i talked to her sis to try to get her feelings)...I'll just let it be up to you if you ever want to hang out. I'm sorry for coming on to you like this, ttyl"

So tonight I'm going out to dinner with the girl...How should I act? What are certain things I should say or do, should I make a move to hug or kiss? I'm gonna try to be funnyand relaxing, but we'll see....

1st text: Ive been talking to some girls, no hook up tho...But ive def been thinking of you lately (we'll see what she says : /)

* IF possible just delete this thread after a couple posts... My ex asked me if I've been hooking up with anyone...I still want her back so what should I say? I just haven't answered (Texts) when she brings that up.... I love this girl, shes in every thought I have, every action, I close my eyes I see her...I just wish I could tell her this, but to be honest, that only works in the movies

Wow man, what a post, it fits perfectly with my current situation. Thanks for the advice man...

I thought about this all afternoon....Best thing for you to do is to tell the girl to piss off, sorry for the leanguage, but its the truth. Nothing good can come from an ex, give it up now...

My ex and I split up around New Years. This was the third time, and to me at the time the LAST. I couldn't stand her anymore. I love the girl so much, she's my first kiss etc...but it always felt like I was giving 70% while she gave 30%. Well since then there are times where she sends me texts/IMs etc...I respond as vaguely as possible, but it is really REALLY getting to me. I actually like when she sends the, I'll even put my phone on my desk in school to wait for them. She's not the most beautiful girl in the world, I could do better, but something about her I just 'need'. People say you don't need anyone, but I yearn for this girl everyday. These texts dont help, and I know shes not the girl to ever come crawling back to me. Everyday I think about her and if I see her in school it literally hurts my stomach. SERIOUSLY Why cant it just work out? Why does she need to hide her feelings .... I won't ever bring up a relationship with her ever again unless she does. What gets me even more sad is I have college next year (She'll be a junior) so I may never see her again after this year. - Today this girl I've been talking to (pretty good looking) hugs me, and I notice her walking right down the hall looking, I didn't make eye contact with her though, but I know she saw it (is this good?). - Why do I still care? It's ruining my life ... - She has her soph hop coming up, and her b-day is Wednesday too, should I wish her happy birthday? If so how? - What the heck do I do with these texts? - I walked into library today and she was there, I knew I had to get out of there as soon as possible, but I just couldnt do it, we ended up chit chatting here and there (didnt help) -IM me at b35jnelley if you have any advice, or are dealign with similar stuff...

My ex girlfriend and I are, or shall I say were, PERFECT for each other, she is amazing. We've split up 3 times during the last year unfortunately (I'm a senior she's a sophomore in highschool). Each time it started out great, but each time I would be killed by one of her relationship traits I could not stand, inconsistency. Sometimes it seemed she loved me, and others I had no idea. Each time I broke up with her it seemed to me she didn't care whatsoever. Like 3-4 weeks would pass, I would distance myself from her, look for other girls to get over the pain, and I would get over her (the hardest was the first time of course)....Right now we're split up, but the other night before my basketball game we texted each other asking her if she thinks we will hang out this break. She said maybe. Even last night we talked on the phone for 2 hours, it was weird. I just know deep down she still needs me no matter what she says. This is my highschool sweetheart, my first kiss, everything! I'm thinking this time around no relationship, just hooking up together, but I have a feeling this would hurt me since it wouldn't really mean anything, and I want it too. Well, do I move on to another girl or give this girl another shot because of how much I really do love her. Thanks... By the way yea I know I should take my own advice from a couple threads ago, but It's easy until you're in the situation yourself.

...Refer to the song "Better Man" by Pearl Jam. In spite of anything a woman ever says, for example; "I want space", "I need to be independent", you know that crap, but whatever it may be, the real reason 90% time is she's either getting bored with the relationship or thinks there is probably a better man out there, seriously, if she didn't why would she break up in the first place? When you're dumped by a girl you need to forget about it, create your own identity, go party, meet new girls, always act happy around here, put the power in your hands, girls become mighty powerful when a dumped guy says dumb loving things, or other things to get back together. Eventually when she comes crawling back make it garunteed the power will never come back into her hands, she has already used hers to your mercy. My ex who is now crawling back to me will have to EARN anything with me, I have more pride than that. The whole issue on these boards on how to get over a breakup really shows how much pride, confidence, and heart you have. When a girl dumps you, alright, feel lousy for 5 minutes, but then get some plans together, go out and find a new girl. Go do some of your favorite hobbies. I felt awful when my ex dumped me earlier this spring, but I found time for myself (at the gym - basketball - other girls), and now the disinterest in the ex has commenced her begging for me back. Now, for when you do allow the ex back into your life... (If she ever was attracted to you and you do the things above she WILL want you back) - Keep compliments at a BARE MINIMUM - Never spend money on a girl unless you're married to her...Sounds rude, but guys trust me here. - Act as disinterested in things as possible, go out with the guys more than you do with the girls. - Talk about other girls to her, and how pretty she may look. - Girls say they want surprises...well after being ignorant if she asks what's wrong or something then come around and say nothing like "What do you mean? I love you" and start the hooking up action. You get the drift? This post isn't to be offensive or anything like that, it's truly the facts of women, take it or leave it, but if you waste another moment crying over your ex, you've lost the battle already.