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  1. I thought I used to be loving and emotionally available. But lately I feel like I changed so much I don't even resemble the person I used to be. I don't know what happened to me. I've been through trauma but I moved on. I find that I don't feel much for the world or people. I try to be a good person, but I don't care emotionally. I don't feel connected and I don't want to be. Is it possible to become emotionally unavailable later in adult life due to life's circumstances? I'm just so disappointed that nothing in my life turned out the way I hoped. I almost became cynical in a way. I see people who have what I wanted and I'm glad for them, I guess they had more luck. Can I fix my current state of mind? Does emotionally unavailability comes from childhood only?
  2. My long term bf has asked me when will we get married. It was not a proposal, just a question that could have been a joke too. I really wanted to marry him years ago but he refused me many times. He said he never wants to marry me. I accepted it will not happen. We don't even live together to start with. Now he is having financial issues and he basically has no place to live in soon. I guess he plans to move in with me and marry me maybe. But I'm not comfortable with timing and his motives. I guess he loves me but due to past rejections I really changed my mind about marriage. I like living by myself and I don't want to be married. But if I refuse him, I wonder how he's going to take it. I really don't know should I just go for it because we're together for so long and we don't plan to breakup at all. But at the same time I really don't want to. I used to view marriage as something romantic and he ruined it for me years ago. Now I just see it as a legal contract and I think his reasons for it are practical. It's not something I want. But I guess I have to do it to help him out otherwise he'll think I don't love him. Please help.
  3. Almost all of them after some time, but that was not the reason for breakups. Maybe I'm just out of love? Maybe it's normal in LTR?
  4. I want to have sex but out of psychical need, not out of love. I used to express my love through sex. Now I don't anymore at all. That's a big change for me. I just don't like feeling that way, not being present completely. Something is just off. I know it's not a big issue, but it is for me. I can't fix it, if I don't know why.
  5. That's the thing. We do a lot of things together. I orgasm at least once every time we have sex. That's not the problem at all. I really don't know what is the cause.
  6. Please, that is from over a year and a half ago. We worked on our issues. We don't argue anymore. Like I said, everything is fine now for a long time. I do not resent him.
  7. I used to be able to really make love the way you see it on romantic movies. I used to look at my bf's eyes deeply and kiss him passionately and so on. I would really give him my all, all of myself. Over the last year or so, I can not do it anymore. I keep my eyes closed all the time. I'm not even comfortable with kissing anymore. Sex became more of a physical activity then something like soul connection and intimate love making. Everything is fine otherwise in my relationship, nothing has changed. I am content. My bf is not complaining about anything. I doubt he even noticed it. But I feel big change in me in sex area. I don't know should I be concerned. What could this mean? How can I figure out what happened to me that I became so cold and mechanical in sex, psychological distant, not allowing myself to feel emotions during sex, but being on guard? I can only let go physically. It really feels weird to me. It isn't me. I miss it. Is it healthy and normal to have just sex with no heart in it with the person you love?
  8. My boyfriend and me are not living together. He sometimes hangs out at my place. I clean after him when he leaves mess after he goes away. I don't mind and it's not a lot of mess. But once he pointed out my dishes are not washed right. He even talked about that to our mutual friends when we were all hanging out. It turned out to be funny. But to me, I thought it was rude. I thought if it bothered him so much, he could have washed the dishes himself, since he doesn't clean anyhing in my place anyway. When I told him that, he didn't understand why I'm mad and said he didn't do nothing wrong. He thought I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I told him I dislike being criticized and treated that way. I don't act that way towards him. This really turned out to be ugly and I rejected his calls and didn't bother to explain to him anymore. When I did answer, he was mad and didn't apologise as I expected, but he said he'll try better. Who was right in this stupid fight?
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