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  1. So I’ve made it a point to listen to everyone’s advice and not text her since she didn’t respond to our last conversation. But I keep getting this thought in my head that she’s wanting me to text her asking her where she’s been, if she’s okay or how she’s doing and thinks I’m ghosting her if I don’t. I keep worrying what if she’s not texting me thinking I should be the person to say something. My brain is telling me these scenarios are probably not at all the case but my good heart is being a real ***hole to my brain right now. How can I better avoid these thoughts? Just following the same advice I suppose?
  2. Yes, stay NC. Like I said before, we are both going through almost the same exact situation at the same time. There’s really nothing for us to say now. We knew what they wanted and didn’t want but we still signed up for something thinking we could be a hero.. but that’s just not how healing works. Saying anything after they’ve distanced themselves is just us trying to still fix something that we aren’t capable of repairing. You feel like you owe her, but you just want a reason to talk to her and it’s understandable because I have 100 reasons I want to text the girl I’m having my situation with. You just can’t tho. It’s what’s best for her and for you.
  3. Im in the same boat as you my friend. My thread is here: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=551030 I’ve had literally ALL the same thoughts as you, even up to this morning and I can tell you that these people on this forum are going to give you the best advice they can based on their experiences. Some will give it to you raw and some will fluff and coat it for you to make it seem nicer but the bottom line is they’re telling us what we need to hear. Wishing you the best of luck. Going through this right now isn’t easy. Wishing you the best.
  4. It’s not about making a big announcement, more because I have really extreme anxiety and it’ll help ease my brain.
  5. If being Friendzoned is the case, I feel like I should let her know that’s not where I want to be and just end it from there. I also realize my mistake I made when she told me what she wanted and didn’t want. I should have kept it moving from there so I wouldn’t end up where I am right now.
  6. I’ve left her alone but she’s made contact with me twice this week. Once on Wednesday and it was a short exchange and then once on Saturday with another short exchange. I’m confused, if she’s not interested then why is she messaging me and then just ignoring me after?
  7. Thanks for clarifying. It’s really hard to accept what you need to hear but don’t want to hear. I appreciate everyone’s advice though. I’ve stuck to it.
  8. Taking a step back, now I see what you mean. I knew what I wanted and I knew she didn’t want that. I should have saved myself the trouble but i got so anxious at the “opportunity”. I’ve dialed back on my responses but I’m not really good at games, I don’t like them. I’m not great at ignoring people either which makes the whole “missing me” pretty much impossible. When someone texts me I always respond.. not always promptly but eventually I do get to it. She text me last night and I kept it away from any flirting, just shorter text in general. It had the same end result to being left without a response, but that was expected.
  9. I agree, she was clear that she didn’t want anything romantic right now. I’m confused on how i keep pushing and pushing though because her and I initiating wasn’t anything new, it’s not the first time we had done it. We kiss every time we see each other, I’m always staying over at her place, all these being her choices, I’m not trying to force anything because of what she’s said.
  10. So my best friends cousin has been a huge interest of mine (her whole family knows it, she knows it) since we were 13 and we’re 26 now. She was in a LTR for 5 years but they broke up late last year. My best friend recently got married in January so her and I ended up hooking up (I caught the garter, she caught the bouquet, hooray!) lol. So we ended up talking everyday after that, hanging at home, going out, hanging with friends a few times and two months in we had a conversation about where we were. She told me she is in no position to get into a relationship anytime soon because it wouldn’t be fair to anyone and she’s not physically, emotionally or mentally ready, she wants to figure herself out and just wants good company. I agreed with it since I’ve been down that road and i told her “we both know what I want but we both know what you need.” and we agreed to keep hanging out and being friends. Well, she picked up a second job a little after that and she works 70+ hours a week so our visits have become way less frequent, which is okay with me, no problem because we still kept communication everyday throughout the day. Well, I was invited to her place last Thursday since she had some free time. We talked, I helped her with a couple things around her place and then we took an edible and went to her bed (I’ve always stayed the night). I tried to initiate sex a couple times but she wasn’t really feeling it she could have been tired, really high or both. I wasn’t worried about it so I left it alone and just cuddled. Next morning I wake up, wasn’t feeling good and threw up! So embarrassing! But we said our goodbyes and at first she didn’t want to kiss me because I threw up but we did lips only and she went in for a second one too so I felt like it was confirmation that everything was good and smooth. Ever since then tho I feel like something is just off, her communication is different, it’s distant, sometimes she won’t reply unless i double text to start a new conversation. I’ll maybe get a reply in the morning and nothing through the day until night or just no responses at all and I’m not sure where I’ve gone wrong and it’s really getting to me. Did I do something wrong? Is her ex back in the picture (have they been communicating the whole time)? Should i just text her letting her know I thought I could handle just being friends but I can’t? Do I just need to give her some space? Lots of questions are going through my head and I don’t know which way to go. I’ve definitely caught more feelings over time and I like her even more now, making this really hard! I just feel so down cause I’ve waited so long for this and I feel like this was my one and only opportunity to make something happen and I’m seeing it slip away.
  11. It's been almost 4 weeks since we last spoke and it's way out of character for me to go without saying anything. I've been beating myself over the head about it but man, I just have really strong feelings for you and I needed time to get myself together. It has nothing to do with anything else or anyone else. I made the decision to stop talking because honestly I got tired of feeling ignored, rejected and feeling like I was unappreciated and just became an option. I don't think I or anyone deserves to feel like that. I knew what I was signed up for when you said you were scared of commitment and when I saw you start to change your views toward it back in August, I ing loved it.. but I feel that after 5 months of the respect I have for you and giving all my effort, motivating, uplifting, encouraging and caring for you and it not being reciprocated, I saw myself chasing that person from then who probably wasn't coming back for me. I feel like I did the best I could and after what I put forward as a man you just didn't think it was worth the gamble of commitment or you just weren't ready for what I had to offer. By now you might not give a about any of it but regardless I feel like nobody should just be left wondering without answers. At the end of the day I make every action with the best intentions put forward and only want your best interest. I'm always gonna wanna see you shine.
  12. I really hate games too, I'm such an honest person and I sometimes need to remind myself that people normally aren't. It's very hard to come to the conclusion that after speaking to someone everyday for 5 months that they just wouldn't care, I've never experienced it. I know I need to stop feeling like she's waiting for me to say something and just face the facts of reality. One day at a time.
  13. It's been just about three weeks since I've had any contact with her now. I've stopped looking at her social media so much due to the things she says or does on there now. For reasons that I do not understand, I'm still not over the fact that I feel like I'm the bad person and in the wrong for going ghost on her without explanation. I feel like I'm a coward because of it. I constantly feel like there's this need to send a text to her (I've written one out) but at the same time I know that I put my best effort into making the relationship work when we were communicating and that if I send this text to her, it'll just make myself out to be a weak. I don't know what I need to do to clear my head of this at this point. Everything is so conflicting.
  14. Going through the same thing here, I put her on a high pedestal and I was pulled around for months thinking things would change and she'd realize how good I was for her. But I realized I became nothing but an option for her to talk to when she was bored or stressed, she didn't care about what I did for her or what I could provide for the future. It was toxic to me like it is to you and after being rejected and ignored so many times I stopped talking to her completely without explanation. She never reached out to ask why and that part still kills me because I have so many things I want to say. She was also very beautiful and I just try to remind myself of all the crap she did to me bouncing me like a ping pong ball. Playing games with me and my emotions knowingly. I try to remind myself that she never reached out to me to ask why I did what I did.. she really didn't care about me that much at all then. She showed where I stood. You have to remind yourself constantly of these negatives and also remind yourself that you put forward your best effort. Try and keep your chin up. I'm still working on it man.. it's been two weeks for me.
  15. I was basically chasing the person that was calling me babe and showing me that she was very interested in me. I wanted that person and after she started ignoring me more often and rejecting any invitations to do things I began to realize that person wasn't coming back which led me to my decision of No Contact after her ignoring my snapchats and more texts. I've never had to go No Contact without reason toward someone and that's what brought me to write this post cause I feel like everyone deserves an explanation. I wanted to know if I was in the wrong, which you gave that answer. Spiteful might be a strong word but she's posted things on social media that she's never posted before and that makes it quite obvious that it's towards me.
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