melissag87

Day 8 of NC/ May 18th was the break up I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I was in a horrible mood, i was really irritable and I was annoyed by everyone. I didn't feel like myself. I also felt really anxious. I found out a couple of weeks ago that my ex was hanging out with a girl from his past again and I kept thinking about them together and it made me sick. I wasn't sad but instead I was just angry and really upset. I felt like i wanted to punch someone in the face today! I went to dinner with my sister and she took me to a restaurant that was right near the apartment of the girl that my ex is talking to. I got even more nervous that I was gonna see the two of them around the area and I hardly ate! I was really tempted to log onto my sister's facebook to take a look at his profile and I wanted to check his email but I used some self control and stopped myself. I hope that this gets easier.Today was horrible...although i didn't cry, i was just angry and bitter. I still want him back so badly. This is my plan as of right now: My ex told me that he had something of mine at his house and if wanted it back. I told him that he probably doesn't want to see me and i definitely don't want to see him so I told him to keep it and that i'll get it from him in a couple of weeks. I'm planning to go NC for a month and a half or so and then i'm gonna call him and ask for it back. I'm hoping that when we see eachother he'll get a rush of feelings for me again and hopefully he'll come back. I know it's a long shot but that's the only thing that keeps me haning on. Plus at the end of October it's my best friend's wedding and he told me that if I wanted to that he would still go as my date. The wedding is out of town so we would have to make a mini vacation out of it and i think i'm going to take him. I hope that we will have a great weekend together and we will be able to work things out. But for now he needs time to be without me and time to miss me

Day 7 of NC/ May 18th was the break up: I just got back from vacation and that def helped me to not contact him. I hope i can be strong now that i'm back. I still miss him very much. When I got to the all inclusive resort the first day of vacation, I happened to run into a couple of friends who were staying at the same resort. It was their last night of vacation so we went to the pool and drank by the "swim up bar"....I got completely drunk (to the point where i don't remember much of the night). My sister said I started crying about my ex at 6 pm and I didn't stop until 11 pm!!!!!! She said that I was saying things like "I was never good enough" and "I wish I was blonde with freckles" (because those are the type of girls my ex was really attracted to) I feel so embarassed! I just wish i had him back

Day 2..... I was sooo tempted to log onto my sister's facebook to check his profile. My friend Francis told me that he hung out with my ex last night and that he was talking * * * * about me and my friend told him that he was an idiot and he is going to regret breaking up with me. It makes me feel better that my friend Francis stood up for me, especially since he was my ex's friend first. I miss my ex so much and i feel like crying but i'm to the point where i've just run out of tears. After 2 months of fighting to win him back, i finally feel as if i have no fight left in me. It's a good things i'm leaving on vacation for 6 days tomorrow, hopefully it will keep my mind off of things.

Day 1 I am soooo tempted to log onto my sister's fb and check his profile. I know that he went to hang out with his ex g/f last night and it's making me sick to my stomach! I've barely had anything to eat all day. And the worst part is that I had to see his stupid car tonight at my neighbor's house!!! (they're friends) I really want to ask my sister to change her password on FB because I log on everyday to check his profile. The good thing is that i'll be leaving out of the country for 6 days on Friday and i'm not going to bring my cell phone!