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Blue68 last won the day on April 10 2014

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  • Birthday 02/12/1968

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  1. My bad. I think it was the way I read it. Like you were questioning it. Nevertheless, I still think you need to think twice about moving to be with this man. A year online is not the same as a year in real life.
  2. I think you should hold off from moving to be with this guy. You’ve not spent nearly enough REAL time together to know whether you really love each other. That is why he can’t say it …. he doesn’t know yet. You even said yourself you are “sure” you love him. That’s not quite the same as knowing without a shadow of doubt you love him.
  3. It is inevitable that he will meet someone eventually … but so will you. Instead of focusing on what he is or isn’t doing, try to focus on what you’re doing. Then, should you hear or find out that he has moved on, you would have also moved on significantly enough emotionally for it to not bother you.
  4. I haven’t read your other posts but it sounds as though he has been detaching himself from you for a while. He hasn’t ended things because you turned up at his house. He ended things because he hasn’t wanted to be with you for a while but you gave him the perfect opportunuty. His reaction leaves a lot to be desired. In fact, there is something sketchy about the way he behaved and the fact that after a year he hasn’t introduced you to his children. Are you sure he isn’t still married? Have you been to his house before? Either way, it doesn’t sound as though he was as invested in this relationship as you. It also seemed to be very one-sided. If I were you, I would ask for your key back and move on from this guy.
  5. Hi samsingha. Have you spoken to this girl about marriage? Does she have the same cultural pressures to marry? Maybe she feels that she has no choice but to keep tight lipped about her past, especially if she knows that you have a “conservative Indian mindset”.
  6. He sounds like a big baby! He is the one being unreasonable here. It is normal to look at ways to fix things when you are still healing. It’s “hope” basically, and we cling on to that as a way of coping. He definitely liked you and it sounds as though he still does - just not in the same way. It just got to a stage where he couldn’t see his feelings developing any further.
  7. I don't see that you have anything to feel guilty about. We can't put our partners first all the time. Life isn't that simple. Sometimes studies or work have to come first. These things are a necessity. If we had the chance to prioritise all the nice things in life, none of us would bother showing up for class or work! If he really liked you, he wouldn't have bolted at the first signs of him not being top priority. A caring partner would be understanding and supportive. To be honest, I don' think that was the issue here anyway. He gave you - what seems to be - a very honest answer. That is a lot more than some people get. I think you are looking for things that you feel can be fixed. Personally, however, I think it just got to a point where you were moving further forward in the relationship than he was and whilst you were speeding things up, he realised he wanted to slow things down. It's really sucky, I know but I don't think the outcome would be any different had you done anything differently and to be honest, you shouldn't want to jeopardise your future in that way. It is not necessary to do so.
  8. Then I really don't see that there is a problem. Your brother likes this girl enough for it not to be a deal breaker and not make it an obstacle. It only has to be a problem if anyone makes it a problem. You just need to accept it. It might be awkward at family gatherings or get-togethers at first but this will soon pass. My friend married someone I had been on a few dates with. It is something I don't even think about now.
  9. My situation is the same. I was married for 12 years. When me and my ex-husband broke up, I had three children with me full-time. Thirteen years later, my youngest is still at home. My middle daughter is at uni so she is home on and off. I have been in relationships during this time but I both love and crave my own space. I’m not sure I could live with anyone full time (adult that is). Like boltnrun says, it’s a different situation though.
  10. So it is something you have been doing on your own but you could see evidence of your "little" self in your texts to him. Is it something you want to control? If you are doing it because you are running away from problems then maybe therapy will help you understand why you do it and thus control it. Yes what is it that pops out exactly?
  11. Well I'm glad about that because I think it helped a lot of us make sense (somewhat) of this thread!
  12. Even if it did get out that the pair of you were naked, I don't think anyone will think anything of it. It is your home and you can do what the heck you like in it. I don't think they will say anything because the texts between the two of you are are evident that she is in the wrong. Chances are, they will come across as the weirdos. Not only did she not let you know they were on their way over (as you quite clearly asked) but they let themselves in unexpectedly. She knows she made a mistake, she is just siding with her boyfriend because she is under his spell.
  13. So right now, you have everything as you want ..... so relax and enjoy 😉
  14. So chill. If he comes over he comes over, if he doesn’t he doesn’t. It shouldn’t matter, right?
  15. That’s because you’re a “tiny”, Tiny. 😉
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