Nikki88

I am really struggling today. I want to talk to you so badly....I want to be in your arms. I wish this empty feeling would just go away. Cody asked about you again today...he misses you so much just as I do. Why did this have to happen? We could have worked through this, it's not fair. You just ran at the first sign of trouble. God I am having such a hard time not picking up my phone and texting you, but I know I am stronger than that. Please get out of my head! I don't want to feel this hurt anymore. I love you so much and I hate that!

God I am missing you so much today. It is so hard sleeping alone at night...I miss your arms around me, I miss the laughs, you tickling me, etc. How could you do this to me?! We were so perfect together...I just don't understand how you could throw it all away....

I am so mad at myself for allowing you to make me feel this way. I know in the three short days we have been apart that you have moved on....But how do you go from asking me to move in and wanting to marry me...to nothing?! How could someone be so insensitive. I want so badly to call you. I want you to hold me like you always did. We have so many wonderful memories that I will never forget! I refuse to contact you!! You do not deserve to know how badly I am hurting. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine! I was fine before you and I will be fine without you. My son misses you too. It's so hard to explain to the little ones. He doesn't understand why you left! It breaks my heart even more when he asks for you. Take care....I guess.