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jackie100

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About jackie100

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  1. Your friend probably doesn't want to be friends anymore. That is not even CLOSE to abuse. Your friend is not "obligated" to talk to you. Sounds like she just doesn't want to be your friend which is NOT abuse. The concept you are talking about refers to couples where one partner ignores the other one during a fight. Sounds like you're friend just doesn't want anything to do with you, which is NOT abuse.
  2. You're right, I think the main thing is that the possibility of her taking it at as some type of acknowledgment is something that will affect ME and not her, lol It will affect me because I will think : "Darn, she thinks I actually listen to her and that she has power over me, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarggggg"... I think the behavior that I exhibit which triggers her patronizing is me not having had any contact with her (except for a few e-mails and visits throughout the years). There were periods where I didn't talk to her for years and she didn't know if I was dead or alive and she probably im
  3. But if I say "ok mom" will she think that I'm actually doing the things she suggested or not? If I say "ok mom" I will still do whatever it is that I want to do and not follow her directions. Eventually the choices in my life are still my decision. If I don't want to take a vitamin I won't. People always say that you have to follow your parents rule as long as you live under their roof. That's why I left as soon as it was legal for me to do. Now I only have to follow the government's law but not my mothers... lol
  4. Actually, when I was a child my mom was very nurturing, I think she kind of overprotected me and that affected me negatively as well. I think I may have phrased it wrong. During my teenage years she didn't really know how to communicate with me effectively, due to her ignorance she didn't know when I was supposed to send in applications to college, she didn't ask me about college etc. This is what I meant, I don't know if that falls under "nurturing" or not, but I have to admit that during my teenage years I sort of hated my mom so I probably would have ignored her anyways if she even tried ta
  5. Because if my mother irritates me by nagging me to wear warm clothes it will make me feel like wearing a tank top in the cold just to spite her for irritating me. We have a stormy relationship and I think love is a strong word, I don't now if I even love her but I try to tolerate her. I want to be treated as an adult, being talked to as a child makes me feel less powerful and helpless, it makes me feel like I am regressing towards childhood. It is just very important to me to be recognized as an adult. If I am not recognized now then when, do I have to wait until I am 60 and have wrinkles
  6. No, I have an only child plus my mom is divorced and doesn't date or even associate with men, has no friends, doesn't work, and doesn't have any hobbies. This makes it worse because she has no life of her own and makes her obsessed with me. She probably thinks about me all day because she has nothing better to do. I wish I had brothers and sisters so that the "mothering" would be diffused through everyone a bit but sadly I'm an only child so I get the brunt of it.
  7. Once I have and she replied with this : "-I care a lot about you and keep reminding you to do things that you don’t like, if you don’t like what I wrote don’t read them but don’t get upset , it’s just little things an old mother like to write! like not to forget to take calcium + vitamine D for the growing bones, to eat fruits and vegetables to avoid constipation, to eat three time a day to have enough energy for the day, to wear a jacket in the chilling evening…!!! I’m not going to write them again.but don’t be angry at your old mother." but then the next e-mails she wrote the exact s
  8. I don't want kids, I am not a maternal person and don't really like kids but IF I ever had kids I would never be patronizing like that. I would have my own life and once my kids were grown I would realize they were adults and let them be.
  9. I would hope not because I'm one of those women who actually don't want to get married or kids. Or have a relationship. I just like to be alone. And even if I was interested in a relationship, I think I still feel so rebellious towards my mom that I would automatically disqualify and dislike ever person that she approved of just because she liked them.
  10. Well, I don't think me and my mother ever really had an adult relationship because we barely have a relationship. The patronizing was done through e-mail but when I did see her several years ago she was still patronizing me as well. I never call my mom for advise or for anything at all actually. I am extremely independent and never ever do I rely on her for advise, financial help (if anyone were to help anyone financially it would be me helping her since she doesn't have any money to begin with). I am a very independent person and yet she still babies me. I think it makes me upset beca
  11. It makes me feel a lot better that you're a guy and you're being patronized. At times I felt it was because I was a female or something and that my mom thought I was "weak and fragile" and incapable of taking care of myself which infuriated me but it feels better knowing that there are guys who get treated like that as well. Misery loves company I guess.
  12. I'm talking about a "child" who's 30 years and moved out since the age of 18. Is it normal for the mother of a 30 year old to still say things like: -Eat all your fruits and vegetables -I hope you’ve gained some weight (What the heck at this, why would I want to gain weight? FYI, I LIKE being slim, I don't WANT to gain weight, why would a mother wish something on me that I wouldn't want to begin with!) What kind of a thing to say is this?? I don't care if it's out of love, I want to scream to her face that "I don't want to gain weight" and to leave me alone! She said this in 4
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