airmanswife

I will not pretend to know you. I don't. I don't know what you have been through, I only know that it has destroyed you or else you wouldn't be leaving posts like this. I think your description of the human race in general is correct. People are selfish, ignorant, and hateful. All they care about is themselves and what they can use other people for. But there are a few...not many, but a precious FEW that aren't. As far as God goes....shouting isn't going to work. In fact if you read the Bible He actually warns against asking Him to jump through hoops like that. He isn't going to come when you call like a delivery man. He doesn't have anything to prove to anyone who is just trying to disprove Him anyways. God will show you what you need to see. When you need to see it. As for your father and what he's done. I don't know and you are the only one that can deal with that. But I do understand to a point. My birth-parents weren't nice people. I have scars from them that will never go away. But I don't let that part of my life dictate the rest of it. One thing that I have found helps is talking. Talking about what happened. How you feel about what happened. Placing the blame where it belongs instead of on yourself. Which I have a feeling may be happening. Everyone is alone. No one belongs to anyone else. The only people in your life that you are ever going to belong with are the people you can be completely and utterly yourself with. The people that know your past and love you for it. The people that know your flaws and don't care. Until then, you're better off being alone.