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ToodlePip

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Everything posted by ToodlePip

  1. ToodlePip
    When I had no money as a student, it taught me that there's a LOT of things you can do for free. Watchign the sunset for example - never really bothered with it before. Mediation. Tai chi in the park. And so on!
  2. ToodlePip
    Yowza. Pot noodles here we come
  3. ToodlePip
    Ah man, what happened? (if you want to talk about it)
  4. ToodlePip
    Not too bad at the moment. Friday was terrible but then had a great night out on Saturday (although not without it's frustrations, see thread in Attraction). Off to sweden for a long weekend so looking forward to that. Interest in other girls back, signal radar kinda working, confidence not there yet. But things are progressing slowly for now
  5. ToodlePip
    This is so f*cked up. Hate this sh*t.
  6. ToodlePip
    ..........
  7. ToodlePip
    Gonna go to this meeting 3-4 and reassess.
  8. ToodlePip
    Just gonna reply with "it's ok - i have a plan. Have you heard?" It'll be the first tiem I ask a question. I dunno if it's a good idea. I don't even know whether she's seeing anyone. I don't know why she's contacting me really. But it's what I want to do. Although havign had a few drinks at lunch I'm a bit drunk so dyunno if it's a good idea.
  9. ToodlePip
    Well, to be honest she might very well be "giving me my space" to get over the break up. And I haven't initiated any contact or suggested meeting up since the breakup. SO if anything she is just following the dynamic I have set. The previous relationship dynamic... TBH this is how we started out - met on match.com, weekly emails, then she was the one to push things forward. By the end, I was the one always responding quickly etc, her not so much. We lived together btw. The last few months I was depressed and gave her the impression I wasn't that into her, our sex life vanished, she probably eventually couldn't hack it and her feelings left. Plus I'm struggling with the conflicting advice! TBH, I don;t really know what I'm doing here. I've read everything I could about NC, LC etc, and seeing where it takes me. I do know we were very good together, but that something went wrong. I'm in therapy and don't suffer from depression anymore. Beyond that, she might be seeing someone else, she was very keen to stay friends, and that's all I have to go on.
  10. ToodlePip
    I see your point, but she broke up with me saying she didn't love or fancy me anymore. She has said or shown nothing since to suggest her feelings have changed. The only thing I can see her is escalating things to what looks liek a weekly email (or could be more I suppose if I responded quicker) Ok, I'm getting what your pointing out now. Still, can you see her giving me any positive indication? As far as I can see, at most she cares (or wants me to think she does) and is curious.
  11. ToodlePip
    Fair enough, but I'm not getting that courtesy extended to me, so why bother!
  12. ToodlePip
    Well, I just looked at it and it means nothing: "Hi, Sorry to hear that xxxx! Hope you can hang on in there... I'm thinking about you over there anyway. They've made a couple of redundancies in our sales team but so far nothing on the editorial side. We're just waiting to hear. x" Not really worth a response no? Apart from reciprocating.
  13. ToodlePip
    Fair point... I guess I'm just following the advice of leaving it a few days. This all stems from me sending her a text weeks ago (breaking NC but it was chitchatty) and her responding two days later, but probably only because she saw me at the station, avoided me and probably felt worried I'd ask her why she hadn't replied. Then 2 weeks of NC without hearing (I didn't reply to the text), then an email from her asking how things were, me replying 3 days later, her sending this email 3 working days later (5 with the weekend). PS: she does know my department is going through a restructure so knows I've got other things on my plate, if that has any bearing.
  14. ToodlePip
    Maybe all three. But they broke up with me. Does it matter what they think? She can call. She can text. She can walk 10 doors down and knock on my door. All she's doing is emailing me chitchat every few days. Or am I missing something?
  15. ToodlePip
    See, I'm the opposite - if i don't read the email, it's irrelevent whether it needs a speedy response or not. I'm busy so focus on what I'm doing, and will get round to each "task" eventually. I haven't thought about it for a couple of days so it works for me in that sense. Whereas after I've sent a response I spend all my time waiting for an answer...!
  16. ToodlePip
    Possibly. I suppose the way I'm seeing it is that by not reading it, I don't know what it's about. And hence it doesn't matter and I can carry on with things oblivious. But I guess I'm trying to keep communication open. I still consider reconciliation an option, rightly or wrongly. I suppose I don't have the strength, or the desire to cut her off completely.
  17. ToodlePip
    Gah - feel quite cool about everything, but I'm still sitting on this email. My plan was to read it over the weekend and answer on Monday. She sent it Wednesday. Now of courzse I'm feeling the pressure of not being rude (and she sent it to my work email so I can't really say I haven't seen it. It's not even the fact that she's in touch that's bothering me, ratehr the rude/not rude issue. I've also found out that there's a 90% chance that my department will be moved to the same buildign she works in, floor below her. Unless she gets made redundant, life will be thrusting us together again. Same office, same street. Grrr...
  18. ToodlePip
    Ha, you're making me feel old here! Not that I'm suggesting that this is the case with your bro, and I sincerely hope it isn;t.. But here's a couple of stories for you: - One couple I know - been together for 10 years - every time she comes over to london (they live in brighton) she gets absolutely rat-arsed and snogs randoms in clubs. Then resumes happy families with him. - another couple 8 year, haven't had sex for 1 yr and 1/2. - Another one, spent 10 years together, now broken up, but neither have moved on and stay "friends", basically don't want to be together but not healing either so not meeting other people. All of them 30 or about to turn 30. Waste of a life if you ask me, and it proves not everything is rosy behind closed doors. Don't be envious of those who seem to have it sorted (your bro exepted!)
  19. ToodlePip
    I've started dreaming about other girls now. Which is a nice distraction from the nightmares about my ex last week
  20. ToodlePip
    Lemon, have you tried freecycle? Might be able to at least get an acoustic from there? Or carboot sales. And I agree with bh, in fact I've stopped telling my family about my therapy cos so many of my issues stem from them! It's a personal thing and noone needs to know.
  21. ToodlePip
    Hi again Lemon, How did your night out go? RE music, do you have any instruments? Is there a band you can practise with? What do you play?
  22. ToodlePip
    I can't help but see a bunch of animals following their instincts when I go into clubs now. Very amusing You also learn a lot from watching the players operate!
  23. ToodlePip
    Go for it dude. But go telling yourself you are not interested in pulling, but actually just chilling out. Remove yourself from the pressure of performing. Go as an observer. People watching in clubs is great fun! Pretend you're Richard Attenborough.
  24. ToodlePip
    Ha! Thanks for the compliment philove, but I'm also a perfect example of someone who'se not great at taking his own advice I might do depending on what it says. I'm trying not to think about it, hence why I don't want to read it. Last week I got one and unfortunately glanced at it before ignoring it, so saw a few lines, and they haunted me for the 4 days ti took me to respond. Not making that mistake again this time.
  25. ToodlePip
    Would it really empower you though? Maybe in the short term, but what about later, when you start thinking "er, but wait a minute, does this mean she's having second thoughts??" And back on the rollercoaster... I can't bring myself to. I know it's probably just nothing of any consequence (ie. your second email above). If I don't know, it can't hurt me. If it's more than that, she's going to have to do better than email anyway. Might even be "sorry, but i can't be friends" which is unlikely cos I haven't done anything bad, but you never know. Just literally can't be bothered and yeah, maybe a bit scared to read it and find out.
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