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SuperDave71, I haven't been on in quite sometime. I couldn't resist posting when I saw you were back. Welcome Back! How are things going? Here is a rundown of my happenings. I Finally had contact with my ex. I unfortunatley broke the rules of NC. I texted to his work email Happy Birthday very nonchalant. I also added that I thought he was right about us and that it had been the wrong timing for us. I wished him the best of luck, and left it at that (it was my acceptance goodbye). I went about my business and did not expect for him to text me back, I figured he would read it and delete it or just delete it. I was very shocked that 2 days later he sent an apology saying that he hadn't checked his email in quite sometime but thanked me for wishing him happy b-day. he told me about his birthday and that he bought a pet. He said he was sorry for hurting me and thanked me for being such a great person, he mentioned our time together with an inflection of didn't I think it was great blah blah blah... he then asked my permission to call me. I did not text back immediatley 1. because I was thrown that he even responded as I had just decided to say my last goodbye to him and did, & 2. beacuse I wasn't sure how to respond. my resopnse was finally congratulations on your pet thank you for the compliment have a great day. I don't know if it was the right thing to do because his response brought so many emotions flooding back. I did not mention anything about accepting his calls. He has texted me since then the last was to wish me a Happy Valentines Day, but I did not respond because I'm afraid to get hurt again. My story is on your - you want your ex back things to do.... forum I was sooo determined to maintain NC and I was doing great but then his Birthday reminder popped up on my phone. I caved because I'm a sucker for special life events. I'm not good with communication (lately) or I would have texted him back Happy Valentines Day but I also think that in doing so I would have left it open for him to wonder about us. I am still moving I am going at the end of this month to procure my living arrangements. I still haven't mentioned it to him as I dont feel he needs to know until I am there and only if it is going to affect him directly. i.e. we have to be in the same place at the same time. Other than that I believe that part of me just wants to stop hurting. I thought I had done that but then stupidly I texted him goodbye and got the response I never thought I would get...what do you think I should do? What would you have done? I realize now that I still care and the main factor in our breakup was the distance between us but now that that gap will be closed should I give him the benefit of the doubt and let him know I'm moving there?

Its been hard these past few days. Be careful I've had the same experience with another ex and all he will want if you don't put a halt to it now is to "come over & cuddle". you will find yourself back at square one. I looked at housing and found some really great places. I'm ready to make a decision as to where I will live. I have been told that it may be a good idea to contact him when I get there and let him know, so that when we run into each other he will not be shocked out of his socks. What do you think? I thought maybe I should keep working out and when I do run into him I will knock him out of his socks with my appearance. Maybe get him thinking he made a mistake when he sees that I didn't roll over and perish. I have maintained NC and plan to until I have made my move. What do you think?

I know I won't die but it sure felt like it this weekend! I'm going through the "should I call him to make sure he didn't forget about me or misplace my number" phase. I know the answer is no he didn't but try telling my heart that. We said we would give it a couple of months and its only been 1 month, but Good Lord it has been the longest month of my life! Been trying all different kinds of projects, I can't even concentrate long enough to keep my focus on the task at hand... ARGH! Somebody give me some insight. I keep telling myself to be strong. I know I can get past this, but my stubborn side wants him back and wants him back now. Don't know what good it will do we would still be in an LDR at least until my move in a couple of months... Martyrdom, Metalwag, & mijo, How are you?

I have gone out with my friends and had a lot of fun, but i also find myself thinking about him he is the first thing that I think about in the morning and my last thought at night. It may sound crazy but it had always beeen that way we were in an LDR so we would call each other 1st thing in the morning to say good morning, throughout the day to see how the others day was going, and at night before turning in to say good night. I became so used to it that now, that is all I can think about doing. In order to try and get him out of my mind I even accepted a date with an old friend, I found myself thinking about him the whole time so instead of letting it be a date I steered it in the direction of just two friends having dinner and a chat. I feel hopless right now, when I started NC was so very optimistic, I know that it will be an emotional roller coaster but right now I'm between anger and frustration...

I started a new workout last night! We'll see how long I can keep it up!

mijo, I was driving to meet some friends and was stopped at a traffic light and I was in such a hurry that instead of selecting my friends number I accidentally selected his (it was the next one on the list of contacts). To make matters worse, the text if you didn't know who I was talking to or about seemed like I was going to meet someone for a tryst. Either way I sent an apology text for "invading his space" during this NC. I then vowed to myself that I would start NC all over again for myself the countdown remains in force. He will have a certain time period to contact me, before he has lost his chance. I refuse to put my life on the back burner just because someone decided to have cold feet. My only problem now is figuring out what length of time. Any suggestions anyone? P.S. mijo starting to work up excitement over the move again! There has been a new development with regards to that... it appears as though a family member may be moving with me. I can start over and have someone who cares about me (unconditionally) living with me!

Martyrdom, NC is supposed to be about you. It is supposed to make you stonger and more confident with yourself. It also serves its purpose by getting them to wonder "OK they were blowing my phone up with calls, now I get nothing. I wonder whats going on with them?". I got some advice yesterday that went as follows: If you really want to get back with your ex, you need time to clear your head and become rational again. Then you’ll be able to see where things truly fell apart. You’ll also be able to open real lines of communication when there’s a little time and distance between the two of you... Take it as you will, but it helped me to realize that right now. I need to focus on me more to make myself more desireable to anyone including my ex. I had a setback in the NC so now I'm back at day 1. UGGGHH!!!!!!!!! It happenned unintentionally and I was sooooo embarrased but it happened and there is nothing I can do to correct it except, start NC all over again.... I was so very determined! All I can say is never text your friends while waiting for a green light. mijo, How long did your NC go before he contacted you? I could just wither form my embarrasment! Javagirl, How are you? Any happenings?

Mijo, How are you? Been having a hard day. Been trying hard not to call him, so I've called everyone else in my phone. I'm trying to keep determined but today is particulary hard and I cant piece together why.

Martyrdom, Way to go! Don't go overboard with the ignoring, just don't let her know what you are thinking.

Martyrdom, It will be a love/hate thing for a while. You may want to thank her for introducing you to her bf. It will throw her off a little. Don't let her get to you, she may think that she is doing you some good. whatever you do don't let her know what you are thinking or how you are feelling. Try to make some friends of your own or get in touch with someone you haven't talked to in a while. In the meantime try this- I wrote an anger letter (the letter you write your ex to tell them how you are feeling but you never mail to them and once you've read it you shred it) I told him everything that I had been feeling and the pain that it put me through. I read it and I must admit it was a very strongly worded letter, but I found that I felt better. I was also a little embarrassed at myself, but through not sending the letter and not telling him directly I saved face, and held on to my dignity. Try it, let me know how it works for you. You may find that there are more issues than what you originally believed. Remember shred it once you are done, this act may give you a sense of freedom.

mijo, I know it is a very vicious cycle, I have been there many times this past week and it is only Wednesday! I want to know if he is thinking about me and I found out that he did ask about me. But this little part of me wishes he had called me and asked me. I'm at the angry stage right now which means I am on the horizon of getting better, but I can feel myself slipping backwards when I think about our relationship. Our biggest argument was about the distance. Now that I have come so close, and that gap will close, I don't want to hang on to hope if there is none. I keep telling myself that I will make the move and not try to think about it.