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melrich

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Everything posted by melrich

  1. melrich
    Well I can understand that giving up the music could actually do more harm than good but you have to start showing her some progress. So maybe the compromise is give up the other hobbies but keep your one nite a week with the band. I think the important thing is you start making a real effort and show her that you are doing so.
  2. melrich
    Dako's advice above is a good start, talk to each other (when you are not fighting) about how you like to fight and why you fight. Then think about how important this thing you are fighting over is to "control". I mean really, in the scheme of life, these things are just not that important. Pick your battles. If something is truly important to you and you feel you cannot compromise then it is worth standing up for. If you are arguing about whether to buy chocolate or vanilla icecream....then really move on.
  3. melrich
    That's understandable. How is the band issue related to the money issue? I think that if you yourself have recognised that you are a screw up with money then you probably are. I think you need to start listening to your wife and give up some of these "hobbies" that you are spending money on. Maybe the band is the one you don't give up but you are going to have to compromise on some things from the sounds of it.
  4. melrich
    Look I am normally one to advocate that some "fighting" is necessary for a healthy relationship. Whenever someone says to me "We never fight" it's often a sure sign that one partner or both are severely compromising themselves. You are at the opposite end of the spectrum though. And you are fighting about minor issues. Whether you swore at her mom or to yourself out of frustration is probably beside the point. Things that should be "let it slides" are causing you to have brain explosions. You have to work out why you fight (if you are intelligent that should not be too hard). Is it an ego thing, is it a control thing. do you have anger issues....then get some help for it. The relationship is not healthy so you either want it bad enough to try and fix things or get out of it.
  5. melrich
    I don't think this is wise. Stroking the arm of someone you don't know very well has all sorts of potential issues attached.
  6. melrich
    How could you swear at her mother?!? What is it that you guys are fighting about?
  7. melrich
    That is possible. I think different people are tuned to different things. So for all of what I just posted, I totally tune out when it comes to social arrangements. So when my partner says we are having dinner with X on Saturday night and an hour later I say "Are we doing anything Saturday night?" it does her head in. She probably doesn't care that I could tell you every detail of her routine in the shower. It's like some people are tuned to mess and others aren't. What's important to some people may not be to others and that can include two people in a relationship I guess. If my partner heard that Julia Roberts line she'd think "What a crock", me I can understand it.
  8. melrich
    Well I am not sure a 100% what you mean but for example I know how she likes her tea so I make it like that. I know the clothes she likes to wear so I buy those types of clothes from her favourite shops, I know the sorts of things she likes as treats so I get those etc etc. So I suppose knowing these sorts of things does influence how you interact, if that's what you mean.
  9. melrich
    Yeah to an extent I guess. But when you are in a domestic routine for some time you are exposed to so much about the other person that I think would be very hard to know if you weren't living together. I mean I guess if your in a relationship and not living together you probably know favourite colors, foods, perfumes etc. But as an example, if I gave my partner flowers, I could tell you beforehand the 2 or 3 vases she will try, the 3 or 4 places she'll try placing them and probably the one she'll end up choosing. You see the thought processes and actions day in and day out so you just sort of "know" things. I am certainly not claiming this is any great effort on my behalf, it just sort of comes about because you are in such close proximity all the time. To be honest you probably don't even know you know thse things until you think about them.
  10. melrich
    LOL. Is that right? I would be very, very surprised if you could ask me a question about my partner that I wouldn't know the answer to. But you sort of get to that level when you live together. But I can buy her clothes, jewellery, food, drink, make-up, perfume, hygiene products and know exactly what she wants.
  11. melrich
    From the little I know of acne I believe it can be very hard to clear up, it's unlikley to be something as simple as "having a facial". It's a very sensitive subject, like lessy20 says, I am sure she is very aware of it and has maybe even tried some treatments. I certainly wouldn't be "buying her a gift" that may in fact be a quasi treatment. Maybe it is something you could raise with her from the angle of has she ever seen a dermatologist about but personally I think there would be a chance that she would not respond well.
  12. melrich
    Some people just fail to see the forest for the trees. DN, I'm sure most people understood what the thread was about.
  13. melrich
    OK it is understandable that you are upset but I'm not sure it is warranted. Why "should" she have? Having sex with someone does not mean you have to give up going to college and becoming a teacher. People's dreams change. Why are you thinking there is such a direct link between her meeting this guy and changing her goals?
  14. melrich
    There's an acronym for that, RAS (Reticulated Activating System) it is used in marketing a lot. It basically means you are atuned to a particular word or object and you notice it as if it is shaded bright pink. It gives you the impression that the item you are atuned to is suddenly all around you.
  15. melrich
    Yeah that is very true. I loved my partner being pregnant, she looked just so good and there is this very protective thing it generates in you. I can completely understand what you are talking about.
  16. melrich
    I think that may be what he expressed to his friend in their conversation had some foundation but was probably exaggerated as people are prone to do when they are complaining about something. I wouldn't be taking it too much to heart but when you guys are having a moment where you are talking about your relationship you may want to raise some of the issues he talked about without telling him your "source".
  17. melrich
    If an ex of mine from 2 years ago rang me with this intent I know what I'd say to them. But maybe she will be a nicer person than me. Who knows.
  18. melrich
    If it were me I'd leave it. I mean no matter what he says, the overwhelming impression he is going to leave with her is "This guys still thinking about this stuff 2 years on!!??" She won't "hear" anything else. I think his window of opportunity is gone. There is no "win" for him in my opinion
  19. melrich
    Do I have this right? He broke up with you 2 weeks ago, met a girl a week later (1 week ago) and is talking about marrying her? I think you should just stand clear of this trainwreck and concentrate on looking after yourself.
  20. melrich
    Hi Diva, If it were me I would go to the school I really wanted to go to. Your school choice is a longterm life impacting decision. Maybe this relationship will be/could be too but at this point that is only speculation. I really think this is a time when the head has to rule the heart. Good luck with everything.
  21. melrich
    Passionate, trusting and playful.
  22. melrich
    Do you play in a band at all? Is there anywhere else you can set up that would work?
  23. melrich
    Does you mom have any idea about how you are feeling now? Would you be comfortable telling her?
  24. melrich
    Guys these are not appropriate responses. Cynical is talking about things that are difficult to express. Stop jumping down his throat.
  25. melrich
    How is your relationship with your mom?
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