melrich

i don't have a setting for aperture though.

That is key. Essentially all you are doing to achieve the "movement" within the photo is leaving the sensor exposed for longer than normal (so instead of fast shutter speed like 1/125th of a second you use maybe 2 second exposure).

So you have to be able to adjust speed. You also will have to use a tripod.

Most cameras you should be able to set speed but probably not mobile phone cam.

Nice photo floating away.

I don't have a macro lens so the first is shot on Canon 50mm. The second on Canon 400mm on tripod (very proud of that one as that is taken from about 20 yards!!)

Yes, maybe not "justify" the behaviour but don't get in the way of it.

Either way, if you do not satisfy to a significant extent your partner's emotional and physical needs you will be dumped or cheated on.

That was my point in responding to the poster who separated out "bad sex" as an impetus for cheating.

LOL.....I am not sure about "bad" sex. I think the thing is about all needs is that if a human's need are not met, they likely will seek out ways to meet them, whether that be physical or emotional or financial etc etc. It is the nature of the beast.

I think it's far more often the emotional connection which of course affects the physical.

In my view, you are trying to separate things which cannot be separated. In an intimate relationship a strong emotional connection depends on strong physivcal connection and vice versa.

If either is weak then the relationship has problems.

Interesting this post is revived after 2 years. I heard a woman (who was some sort of expert in the field) interviewed on the radio a few months ago about divorce. When she was asked the top five reasons people get divorce she said,

"Sex, sex, sex, money and money" in that order. I thought it was very clever and it stuck with me.

That's extremely good and obviously very personal but I think it's so good that you should submit it for expert feedback, have you ever been to the "Poets Sanctuary" maybe have a look and see if you would be comfortable submitting it.

#6 Emotional Incompatibility

Yeah I think incompatability is a big one but reality is, those relationships should probably never even start, they are not going to work no matter how you try and address the issue, if you are incompatable you are incompatable.

I do think though that more people should be brave enough to accept incompatability earlier in their relationships and do the right thing.

Yeah, that is what I was trying to opinpoint in my list, "causes" not symptoms. I like 1,2,3 and 4 but think maybe 5 is more a symptom of the others. I quite like can'texplain's note because I think imbalance is another cause.

What about sxual problems Melrich?

Yeah that is the difficulty isn't it. What is a symptom and what is the cause.

I think often we are asked to address symptoms and people don't really examine the underlying cause.

If a relationship is based on fear in one, the other, or both - things must be fixed in someone or both. If based on mutual affection which is not fear-based, keep going with the flow.

Yeah I get what you are saying. That could come under a heading "Imbalance".

People come into our lives for three different things; for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime. Each relationship we form is under one of these categories, our goal here in life is to grow spiritually, personally and to develop a deeper understanding of ourselves.

Yep, I am a very strong advocate of those thoughts (i've not seen this before).

Having had a few relationships in my time this rings very true to me.

sorry I missed this SB. It is really good.

Unfortunately poetry doesn't have a very high profile on eNot. If you are interested there is a very good poetry forum called the "The Poet's Sanctuary" you'd have to google the address as I have lost my link but you will get a lot more critiques there if you are interested.

Given it is 4 years since this post was made, it's possible the OP may be a Hooters Girl herself by now.

I have to be honest and say that I think you are pushing the metaphor too far. I think your idea is fine but the poem itself could do with some editing, mainly to trim it down and get it more concise.

Also watch for images that simply don't work,

Like a drop in the ocean,

That barely breaks the skin.

For example this would be better along the lines of "Like a drop INTO the ocean, That barely breaks the surface."

Ocean and skin are not really of the same medium if that makes sense.

This is going no where but downhill. Thread closed now.

This thread is 2 years old guys. Hopefully they have worked the issue out.

Dear Lamb-Sheathed

That doesn't work for me. Otherwise I quite like it. It's a bit too biting really for such a generally inoffensive image. Almost has the effect of making the reader pity the subject because of the author's spite. But it's good because it has feeling. JMHO

Cheers

Guys, this thread is 2 years old. If you want responses, start a new thread.

Why haven't you met her in real life?

Well it seems to me that Girl C is the one you really like so if it were me I guess I would be pursuing her.

I can understand your anger and I guess revenge is looking like a pretty good option.

But really if you pursue that you are only stooping to her level.

Be the bigger person and ignore her and move on. Your indifference to her will hurt her more than anything else you could say or do.

Re. getting back together...I think you'd be crazy to even try. She's going to cause you a lot of trouble.

I don't know but reading your post I feel like she is taking her frustration at not being able to work out on you. I actually don't think this is about your relationship at all, I think it's about her situation and you just happened to be closest at hand to cop it.

I don't think you can do much but give her the space she feels she needs and see how she resolves this herself. Putting any sort of pressure on her is just likely to push her further.

Yes, I am not sure jealousy is the right word.

A big problem with pornography, particularly online, is the potential for it to become an addiction.

Another problem is the depersonification of women as essayed by Dr Gary Brooks in The Centrefold Syndrome (1995). Simply that it encourages the image of women as objects rather than people.

I think the exploitation of women is an issue. But to use such an issue as a base for why pornography is wrong opens up many other moral dilemmas that are not easily resolved.

Personally, I think watching pornography in moderation is fine. If you are in a relationship it should be mutually acceptable and not hidden and should only be a problem in that case if the watching of pornography affects intimacy in the relationship.

Don't put the cart before the horse. Do what work you need to on your marriage. If it is or becomes unresolvable, end it, then start looking for a new partner.

Doing things the other way around will likely only bring you misery in the long run.