I'm sorry, if this is not the right forum.
I've been searching all night for someone to talk to. I have AOL, ICQ, YAHOO and MSN messanger and not one person on to talk to.
I went to Yahoo chat, but it's a joke, nobody in there is really interested in chatting. It's full of people whose goal is to either try to find someone to talk dirty with or start a argument with. Of all rooms that I thought I might find someone to talk with, the Religion / christian rooms are the worse.. My mom always is telling me I need to go to church, that it will help me with this internal void I feel. But when I go to these chat rooms, the internets online representation of religioius people gathering to talk, I see what it's really all about.
Right now, I feel on the verge of tears.. and I really don't know why.. it's sort of a the more you think about it, the more you feel it thing.. but why should I be sad. It's probablly just me feeling sorry for myself. Isn't that usually what it's about.
At this point I don't want to scare anyone, so I'll tell you now, I'm not sucidial or thinking of anything along those lines.. thats not what this is about.
I guess my problem is I'm alone.. but considering how I feel right now, that seems to be oversimplying the issue.
I moved away from home when I started college, after college I've been moving around everytime I get a job. 6 years ago, I moved to LA, away from friends and Family. Then 3 years ago I moved farther away to San Diego.. I do have friends from work now, good friends.. but not close friends like I used to have. I doubt I will ever have that again.
As far as girlfriends.. I've been dating off and on, but all relationships ended for one reason or another, but it's actually been almost a year since I've "offically" been with someone. I guess thats alot of whats got me so down.. not having someone in my life to share my more intimate self with.
Recently I've tried a few of the online dataing services, but with no results.. it really doesn't build ones ego.. I know I'm not the cutest guy in the world, but I don't think of myself as ugly. I'm usually a very cheerful guy when I'm not writing self pity articles online .. sorry for the joke, I'm feeling a little bit better just writing this out.. Problem I have with girls I think is that they have to get to know me, I don't think I make the greatest first impression, and when it comes to online dating , where your one guy amoung thousands .. it's all about the first impression.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.. I don't know if anyone will actually see it, but like I said above just writing it out , is making me feel better. I guess if I can't tell one person how I feel, I'll tell everyone. At least I'm doing something.. getting it out .. instead of sitting here in the dark, watching cable tv.
Thanks again.
Just a lonely guy in San Diego.
