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Everything posted by david_01

  1. You all make very valid points and it’s interesting to read all your perspectives. Rose Mosse I fully take your point but I guess it’s weird to those who haven’t done it and less weird to those of us who have. I mean online dating was considered weird at one point but now lots of people do it. I guess because I live in quite a remote place and there’s not much going on here I thought I’d see if it opened up my chances of making new friends. It worked for me in the past in that my current 10 year relationship started online, my last one did too and I have several long term friends who I all initially met through some online platform so it can be a good tool albeit not one that should be relied on. You are right though in that there is no commitment there and it’s very different to dating. Maew I completely agree and I don’t expect anything but I’m just not sure whether it’s a bit one sided now. I just don’t want to message someone if they aren't interested in reading them. We have spoken a lot up until recently but now it’s really dropped down mainly because once you’ve spoken about who you are and what you do and likes/dislikes etc there’s less conversation to be had going forward other than how’s your day been and what are you up to? We’ve kinda exhausted all the initial getting to know you conversation and I fully take all your points on board. Batya it’s very interesting to read your experiences in things. I guess you’ve got more in common with both having kids but yes it is a weird one when people want friends but then don’t seem to with their actions.
  2. Yeah maybe I should or should I just ask what we’re doing? Thing is if he doesn’t think there’s an issue then I don’t want to sound crazy but as you say there’s no point in bothering if we’re never going to meet. I do have ‘online’ friends who I know I won’t meet but in this app it’s meant to be about making actual friends and this one I feel we could get on well in person and it was supposedly reciprocated. However moving to a real offline friendship can be daunting if you’ve not done it before. I just don’t want to come across as pushy and like I’m rushing everything when some things just happen in time but at the same time I don’t want to be annoying and send messages that aren’t wanted.
  3. I think you're right but to be fair, when they cancelled they did suggest another date. I just didn't acknowledge it at the time as I assumed he was just moving the goal posts. Also neither of us have done this before and he may be scared to meet at this point. I had a previous online friend who I'm good friends with 9 years later, we didn't meet for the first three years!!! We don't communicate on the app anymore, he offered me his number a while ago and both follow each other on Facebook. Even though we don't live near each other we both frequent the same town quite often so we could meet but haven't actually been there at the same time yet. I just don't get the whole delayed reply thing but then maybe I should just say what you said. I just don't want to come across as really pushy or really forward.
  4. I'm definitely only looking for a friendship and the other person is a he. I think the issue for me is that I'm quite a loyal friend and I try to be there for people when I can and if I get the feeling that someone is being flaky then I wonder whether I should waste my time with that person. I'm just not sure if that's the case here or not and because I don't often click with people that easily it's a pleasant surprise when I do.
  5. Hey all, So I’m looking for some advice regarding a friend I have recently made online. We met on a friendship app, I moved recently and wanted to find some new friends in the area however this person ironically isn’t in my area. I’ve had a few other connections with people like this but conversations didn’t really go anywhere. However me and this person connected right away and the conversation just flowed and we get on really well. Initially they made contact with me and we messaged every day, quite a lot through the day and inevitably this has tailed off to a few times a week. However I just can’t work out whether they want to remain friends or not. We both put a lot of time in at the beginning and were very open about how much we got on but over the last few weeks I’ve gotten the feeling that they aren’t really that interested in being friends anymore. This is absolutely fine because I know that things can change but I’m confused as to whether that is the case or not and how I should move forward. For example I’ve suggested meeting up and gave them an out in case they didn’t want to but they said that they did and they suggested a day and place etc but then because of work commitments it’s now been cancelled. I kinda suspected this may happen so thought that I’d just leave them alone but then after a few days of not messaging I’ll get a message saying ‘hey what’s up? I’ve been doing such and such...and what have you been up to...?’ and then we’ll have a chatty conversation for a bit so then I think Ok maybe they do want to stay friends but then often I will send them a message and it’ll be 24 hours before they read it let alone reply. So I don’t know whether to pursue this friendship or not. A large part of me wants to because we get on really well and have made a lot of effort with each other but then the other part of me thinks that if they take 24 hours to read my messages then they clearly aren’t interested. If I choose to leave it alone and then get a message from them do I just ignore it now or ask them what they actually want out of this? I’ve got a quite a few online friends and I was hoping that this would turn into an actual friendship so I don’t really want a text buddy. It’s confusing because even though I’ve had proper romantic relationships through online sites etc I’ve never actually done the friend thing before.
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