lostandhurt

Never dated? Boy are you in for a huge surprise. You will do great I am sure but it will be fun to hear about your adventures. I am at about 8 to 10 car shows a year so I will keep an eye out for you. Lost

Good on you. I have been to and been part of some of those "events" and it is like they just want bodies in the room to make it look like it is something special. I was briefly helping out with a Matchmaking Service and the woman running it wanted me to show interest in a few of her clients so it looked like she was doing her job well. I wasn't interested in them and I didn't want to be that guy so I passed. I did make several appearances at events like you just went to for the sake of having a good balance of people. I am not so sure any of them are actually trying to achieve what they say they are. It sucks when you come up with the perfect line later isn't it? Lost

Well OLD will not help that is for sure, make sure you build up a thick skin while you are at it. How about a friendly wager? I bet you will get a lot of interest with at least 5 messages a day for the first week but more than likely way more than that. In real life is nothing like it used to be. Women stare at their phones and are not as receptive to men chatting them up these days so guys have backed way off on checking women out and talking to them. It is almost like online has supplanted real life. "If I want to meet him/her I will look online and send her a message" Lost

If a woman has a list of reasons not to contact her then I usually take a pass. It does make it easier when they show their true colors but sometimes they are more subtle. Things like " If you wear jeans don't bother" "True Patriot" "German made car a must" mentioning vaccinations and the like. I could care less how someone votes but if it is a large part of who they are day in and day out they are not for me. Far to much negativity and anger to add to my life. Lost

That was you??? The card number you gave me didn't work, can you send it again 😁 So if there are a bunch of fake profiles of men on there perhaps me being real might improve my odds? Lost

That is awesome. She isn't my birth mother, she took me in when I was in my late teens as my home life was not so good. Big Italian family I consider my own. Good call going the day before. Lost

Let us know when you sign up, I am sure you are going to get TONS of interest. I have seen the commercials for those sites and I think they are owned by Match Group so they are probably run the same. I will definitely check them out and see what I see. Lost

Thanks, Been down this road before and I really don't get bothered by my results or the lack of them. I am all good either way so I look at it as a bonus if I meet someone not like I lost out. I do feel like a lot of the women I am attracted to get paralysis by analysis. They get a pretty good stream of men interested in them so they just keep waiting for Mr. Perfect to come along and in the meantime are alone not meeting anyone. As far as Match goes it is a numbers game, the more women the better my chances but I do need to look at other sites for sure. It really isn't a money thing as I can easily afford a subscription, it comes down to being focused on one site or two and being serious with my intent. Since the Match Group owns a great many dating sites I am afraid their gimmicks are found across most sites, just with different shapes and colors. Lost

Nope, I am almost done remodeling my nephews master bath so I was setting tile in the huge walk in shower I built for them. I did bring my mom flowers in the morning and visited with her for a while. She is my 93 year old Valentine ❤️ Lost

Clearly she doesn't want you to find out about something. What that is only she knows and by her behavior she isn't going to tell you no matter what angle you come at her. I don't see that you did anything wrong and nothing to warrant her reaction so stop apologizing. I seriously doubt you are going to dump her over this at the moment so let it drop and I mean totally. Do not apologize, do not tell her you are letting it go or anything, simply stop bringing it up or asking anything. Then sit back and watch and listen with your antennas all the way up. With that large of a social circle the truth will come out, someone will slip up or ramble on after a few drinks and the puzzle will start to go together. Also when you suddenly stop it will make her nervous making her wonder if you know something of if you are going elsewhere for the information. In the meantime steer clear of Bob, sounds like he is trying to cause problems between you two. Play the long game, be smart and watch for clues. In the end her actions will show you all you need to know. Lost

Day 84 As I suspected the gorgeous 48 year old didn't reply to my last message. Oh well at least I got her attention for a moment. I am sure she is fielding a ton of messages at the moment. Sent another message on POF yesterday as well with no response as of yet. I also sent a Happy Valentines Day message to the 56 year old that stopped replying after a couple of messages. She replied Happy Love Day. I replied back but nothing. I have about a week left on Match I think (need to check so they don't auto renew me) and I will drop off until maybe late Spring and try again. Perhaps I should look for other paid sites and see what is out there first. Lost

Day 83 Last night I got an email that I received a like on Match which is pretty common, what wasn't common was the woman is 48 years old and gorgeous. Never seen her on the site before so she must me new. I sent her a message and she replied fairly quickly and then I replied to her but it was getting pretty late so I went to bed soon after sending it. No reply as of yet. This woman will be getting a lot of attention and messages from men to be sure so I will be surprised if I hear from her again but it was nice to receive a like from someone I could be interested in. Happy Valentines Day everyone 💖 Lost

Not that weird if you think about it. He likes having sex with you so if he treats you with kindness that will continue but if he is a jerk chances are the sex will stop. Like many people you have given texting some sort of importance when there is none. There is no commitment, almost zero effort and can be done when and where he chooses. Idle chit chat through texting means nothing to him. If you like the sex too then keep him around but cut back on texting because you keep seeing what you want it to be, not what it really is. Lost

Thanks, I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised. I slept on it and will not be calling her again. Just sent out a message on POF to a woman that is 6 years younger than I am but we have a lot in common. I think I remember her from years ago seeing her profile on a site but I am not sure. Lost

Day 81 continued Talked to the 56 year old and it started off well but then she started in with political complaints, the world is a mess and on and on. Not like a rant but I could tell she was seeing if I would join in on her "views" which I did not. Agree or not agree my life does not revolve around those things and I avoid all that negativity as much as possible. This is another thing that has made dating these days much harder as I meet someone and realize that politics are a big part of their identity and they carry way to much anger around with them. I am going to think about this a bit but I am not feeling it unfortunately. Even though she said I could call her anytime towards the end of the conversation I get the feeling she wasn't feeling it either. I have about 10 days left on Match and do not plan on continuing for now. Lost

Day 81 The 56 year old from Match agreed we should talk on the phone and would contact me soon. I missed her text by about an half hour and responded but it was too late as she was heading to work. She said she would try again the next day but I got nothing and nothing yesterday. I will be sending her a text shortly to see if we can make this work. Match seems to have upped their game sending me prospects I haven't seen before. Possibly because my subscription runs out soon. I received 4 messages since I last posted and 5 or so likes. Some too far away others not interested. POF has been less than productive as well. Lost

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. I really appreciate all of you. I am 60 but in my mind I am 25 so it is all good. Thanks again Lost

I wouldn't drop the ball completely here. You know how hard it is just to get to this point so hang in there a little longer. It doesn't cost you anything as time goes by for free. Once she lets you know she has recuperated completely and if she doesn't ask directly for another date offer up something very simple like meeting for coffee. Keep it simple and low key with zero expectations and very little invested on your part. I see so many people being stubborn and missing out on good things in their lives just because they wouldn't be the bigger person and show a little grace. If it goes great you can transition into dinner/lunch but if you really aren't feeling it you are out a little time and coffee money but the best thing is you will know for sure and can stick a pin in this one and not keep wondering and wondering. Lost

Day 76 of a scrubs life on OLD 🤪 Ha ha So I sent a message to another 56 year old on Match that lives almost an hour away by car. Not ideal but it is what it is at this point. She replied some hours later and on her profile there was a line from her "Bring back the phone!" which to me meant too much texting. I replied to her message with some tid bits about me as she asked something then I did what was suggested and just offer to take the convo off the app with the following: "I read your profile a few times and would like to get to know you better, if you feel the same way we can talk on the phone or continue on here as I am game either way" Then I got crickets for almost a whole day but she did respond saying phone calls are best and hoped my day was going well. I offered my cell number so we could connect (text) to figure out a good time to chat. That was a few minutes ago so we shall see. The 56 year old from POF has checked my profile a few times in the last few days but has not replied to my last message to her. Tells me she is semi interested and on the fence or comparing me to some other guy she is chatting with. I sent out a few other messages as well on POF but you only get one free message in 24 hours, if you want to send more than one a day you have to pay up. I think POF leaves very old and abandoned profiles up just to pad their inventory so who knows if those women are even checking in. PS Today is my birthday, just turned 60 so it will be interesting to see how that affects my chances. Lost

This made my laugh. No I am not a scrub by any means. I do well with women in real life and to my surprise they are extremely attractive and in great physical shape so I am more selective but that is my choice. I will never meet or date someone just to be with someone, there has to be a spark, excitement and interest on both sides. You are spot on with your assessment of OLD as it stands today. When I first signed up on Match 60 ish days ago my return rate on messages sent was about 40% and I was swinging for the fences to be sure with women as young as 45 replying. Unfortunately like you mentioned many are using it as entertainment, a casual distraction or to remind themselves they are desired by hundreds of men. There are women on sites that are seriously looking to meet someone but the ones I am attracted to like you said are bombarded with messages from youngsters compared to me so they get distracted and if they meet the guys used for sex and then dumped. I have met and talked to several women that went down that path thinking is would be fun which it was they said for a short time. I am not complaining at all. Way back in the day the men held all the cards so it seems only right that women find themselves in the cat birds seat. Not a scub Lost

Good to hear you guys are going strong. First off the level of education of anyone you date is your business and theirs, not some D Bag so called friend and that is what he is a so called friend because a true friend would NEVER pull a stunt like this. To tell or not to tell. Which would be worse: Telling your bf so he knows whats up or explaining to him why you didn't tell him when he eventually finds out? He will find out some how some way so why not simply tell him. Now how you tell him is very important. When you tell him keep it brief and factual but don't elaborate if you can help it. No need to bring up he was putting your bf down and all that. "__________ came into the bar the other night and was acting a little weird and then he asked me straight out why I chose to date you instead of him" He will ask what you replied or if this guy had ever asked you out so just be honest. You didn't do anything wrong and your bf should know so he can choose who he wants to be friends with or who he hangs out with. I know guys like his friend and I bet good money he was trolling for a chance with you like you would step out on your bf with him. They are not to be trusted. Lost

That may have been true back in the day but things have changed a lot since then. Being barraged by creeps, youngsters and jerks has made women using OLD leery of handing out there number too quickly. Lost

Funny stuff there but he isn't that far off on the number. It is just a different dynamic which cannot be ignored. Best you didn't ask the follow up question, ignorance is bliss... Lost

Of course you know if a man sent that to women the return rate would not be 99%, more like 10%-20% unfortunately. I wish it worked that way believe me as I have no desire to draw out anything just for fun or entertainment. Lost

I totally get how you feel so stepping back is probably best so you don't get negative. Some women are still of the mindset that men need to do the initiating or chasing which gets old really fast. You reached out and checked on her which was nice so the ball is in her court since she cancelled. Stay positive and keep looking and if she is smart she will reach out to reschedule before you get away. Lost