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i would tell ya if i knew. she told me that she never really loved me, she just said that she did to make me feel better and because i told her that i loved her (which i do). And there's also the possiblity that she just didn't really like me that much and dumped me every time that she found someone that she liked better (hence someone older, fatter, someone that drinks and curses, and someone generally bigger). But that's the best i can tell you. it's hard to tell, considering all the times she's broke up with me (four or five)

This is actually kind of a mixed post. It's also kinda the basic "my love broke up with me again, she's banging some other guy, all my friends expect me to help them and not vice-versa, and to top it off i'm only 17" kinda thing. I won't make it too long, because i know that gets boring. The love of my life (also hopefully friend for life if i can get rid of all feelings) has broke up with me a few times, and now, despite all her reasoning against having sex with me before marriage (babies, blah blah blah), she lost her virginity, and has been screwing ever since, to some other guy. She started after she'd been going out with him for less than a month. and i'd been going out with her off and on for two years. but anyway. my best friend that i talk to about all this stuff is in love with me, so i can't exactly talk to her about anything, plus she just broke up with someone and i usually end up helping her with that. I can't go out with her because of distance, and she's the only real friend i can usually talk to. at lest more than anyone else. I can't talk to any of my guy friends, because...well, they just don't understand. there's a girl that wants to go out with me, but i just want to be friends with her, because i'm afraid of losing someone else. but i really want someone to hold me again. i'm really lonely. and the woman i'm still in love with that's banging another guy just got done talking to me so i can give her the number of the clinic so she can go get birth control. basically, all ir eally wanted was to come on and let off a little steam. but, if anyone has any advice, i'd be glad to listen (read) to it.

All right, let me start at the beginning. This is going to seem kinda strange, but I really could use some help. There's this girl I'm madly in love with, but that isn't the problem at all. The problem is hers, not mine. I really do love whis girl, and I really want to help her, give her advise, but I don't know how. Now let me tell you what's going onwith her (are you confused yet? ) well anyway, she has problems with her family. She's had an abusive family, and her sister drinks and all that stuff (which I think is bad), including one miscarriage that I know of, and isn't married. Her mom married her "dad" after she was born, and she's always wondered about that. I put "dad" in quotation marks, because that's the problem. Her mom won't tell her who her real dad is (thought she's pretty sure it's not the guy she's living with), and she's not sure if it's her sisters dad, or someone completely different! She's nineteen, but can't get her liscense, because she doesn't have her birth certificate, and her mom won't let her have it. And she doesn't know who her biological faterh is anyway. But anyway, she's been really down, and I don't know what do to do to help her. I'm afraid I'll just make anything worse, but she's so pitiful! And we're just friends (I'm in love with her, but she's not in love with me, so we're just fiends), so i can't go over to her house and just have "comfort sex", in case some pervert thought to mention that. ANY help would be appreciated. Thanks a bundle. Nick

i may be totally off here, but i have always refused to go talk to someone else. I've just never felt comfortable talking to other people. i have had to go two times, and both times i never felt i could trust the other guy anyway. but any time i would start to think like that, i'd write down exactly what i was thinking. and then read it. it just seems so much different when you're thinking it, and then reading it. but what ever helps you is what you should do. and, i know you'll never forget the girl, or be completely over her, but you have to start healing. i know you're probably getting tired of hearing that, but believe me, that's all there is to it.

i've been through the almost the exact same kind of situation. i know how much it hurts. and, to be honest, letting go makes it hurt worse. until it's done. but now that i've let go, i am the happiest i've ever been. if she doesn't care about you now, then if she ever does, it won't be genuine. but, man, believe me, the only option is letting go. it will make you feel so much better.

the only way I can get anyone to read it is to put it on here. and I didn't literally mean she'd be mine forever, just metaphorically. or maybe that possibility is there somewhere.

I was desperate in search of love finding only empty alleys the more I lost the more I searched from mountain tops to deep valleys desperation slowly gave way to the simple necessity which was followed by hopelessness finding someone who would love me By when I was talking to just a few possible flings to my complete surprise only one continued writing I don’t think they’re angry with me I did nothing to make them so but it is undeniable the one that stayed won’t want to go Is this some kind of sign? some way for God to point to me and say “look at this one, she’ll love you for eternity”?

nobody has to respond. I just wanted to share. As I lie here thinking Of the task that lie ahead I wonder how I'll overcome Uncertainties in my head I still follow blindly Searching for a love so true While every step makes me believe My chances are slim and few Every one I hope for Can not be the one I seek For the princess I cry out for Will love me month, day, and week No matter who she sees This one won't want to hurt me She'll always try to love as I Have done for them so freely I seem to give my love With no regard to future A hurting man who never learns His heart can't take the torture He loves and then loses While hungering for some comfort And all he gets is another Channel to make his heart hurt But it's not all their faults They do what they can for me Only one thing can quench my thirst But loves not given wholly Down this dirt path I tread Knowing not where it may lead Just hoping my sorrow and pain Give way to the love I need.

I think you should definitely go for it! I don't think you should let anyone get away that you feel that way about and think about like that. I've let too many get away. The only thing stopping you is being shy. I'm there too and I know it's hard, but you'll regret it if you let her go. Call her, talk to her, take her out somewhere. If she has a boyfriend, wait until they break up and be there for her when they do. Girls love a guy who will be there for them. But I don't think you should keep running away from her. It's not helping anything! Go get her! Good luck!

so if you really really love somebody and you just know that they are right for you, you can have sex and it's fine? I just knew that the girl I was with fifty six days ago was the one for me, and it was hard not to have sex with her, but then she just up and leaves and has went out with two other guys that I know of since then. I'm not kidding either, she was the one. I loved her and she loved me (I thought) and I thought about two or three years later getting married, having kids, getting old and wrinkly and fat together and smiled. (Not the "lolipop girl") So I could have had sex with her, right? But what happens when I find someone else that I'll just know is the one for me? Do I have sex with her too? She'll get mad if she knows that there was someone else too. She'll never trust me. Plus, if I would have had sex, the girl I had sex with couldn't have trusted me!!! I mean, come on! She'd think that if I would fool around with her, why wouldn't I fool around with someone else? I shouldn't have mentioned my age, because now you won't take me seriously, but this isn't something I take very lightly. The only exception I can see to how I feel would be if you was engaged. I would still rather not, but I can see that. I really loved that girl, but if I would have had sex with her I'd feel like dirt right about now. I can see I'll have trouble finding someone who thinks the same way as me though. I had always hoped I'd keep my virginity and find someone else who did too, but there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of those any more.

Hello everyone. I just have a quick opinion question. My opinions don't count for much of anything since I'm only sixteen, but I wanted to express them and see what you thought. I may be a little behind the times, but I still think that sex should wait until AFTER you are married. I can't see loving anyone if you've had sex with three others. So how has it become okay and acceptable? I'm just a teenager, so yeah of course I have the pressures and want it, but is that what splits society? The amount of control they have? I'm just confused to as what good it's going to do to have sex with as many people as you can. I spent the ride home today talking to a girl who thought it was funny that she just gave a guy a blowjob that she isn't dating! I used to like her. I just think that's stupid and wondered if anybody else wanted to say whether they thought it was okay or not.

Okay, I'm just going to post one more on here and I want both of you to answer if you can and if you are still watching it. For some reason I've been afraid to put "everything" on here. I don't know why, but I have been. Anyway, heres the rest of it. My princess (the girl in question) is no answering my questions. I've asked her (in person and on e-mail) if she still loves me, but I got an I don't know every time I asked on the phone and she just ignores it on the e-mail. I was trying to get ahold of her all day yesterday and once I found out she wasn't at home, I was trying the house she was at, and all I got was that she wasn't there right now. I told her to call if she got back before ten thirty and I even stayed up till one hoping and worrying that something was wrong. I only slept about three hours. Then this morning I get on here after I worried for what seemed like an eternity, and she writes me one letter. It said that she was with "some" of her friends and she named one, which turns out to be a druggie, which didn't help things. So I assume her new boyfriend was with her too. Oh, and did I say that she had been camping? Which means that she spent all night, unsupervised, with a druggie possible her boyfriend, and who knows who else. So anyway. She gets on, reads the hundreds of messages I wrote her asking if she loves me and telling her I'm worried about her, she writes me two lines, and get's off even though she knew I was on here too. That's not the worst of it. She's going to her druggie friends house today, and then she's doing it all over again tonight!!! I'm worried sick about her. I don't know what to do. I've told her I'm worried, I've told her everything. She is acting so differently from when she was going out with me, and frankly (though I haven't told anyone else this), she's scaring me to death. I keep having these "visions", if you will, of her boyfriends using her, or her getting drunk or high and getting herself hurt, of all this. I had a vision of her having sex with someone else once and it was so real and I couldn't stand it so much that I threw up because of it! (we never had sex and didn't want to) I've told her how I feel, and she won't tell me how she feels. I don't know if that's because she doesn't know for sure, if she's afraid she'll hurt me (again), or if she knows she loves me but there's something keeping her away (which I also asked her about and she hasn't answered) like the 2 year age difference, or her family or something. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't want to leave her, because she doesn't have any voice of reason but me! But she still can't say she loves me! What do I do?!?!

For some reason it posted my last one on here twice. Don't know why.

Yes, people die of broken hearts all the time. The teen suicide rates are astronomical. And, though you told me not to say this, it was her. Not only was she beautiful, but she actually cared about me, and from the look in her eyes I would still say she loves me. Why wait? I'm waiting not necessarily because I enjoy being miserable, but I want to make sure she doesn't do something rash and get herself hurt. I'm sorry, I know I asked for your advice, but I was wondering more about her, not me.

I don't know if anyone will be able to help, but I have a question. There is this girl that I love. And, yes, I am positive that I love her. She loved me too. We used to tell each other we did all the time. Then, after one year she broke up with me. She said that she didn't love me, anymore. I had trouble believing any of her excuses. Then she went out with someone else. But she only talked to him once in the two week period, so he broke up with her, and now, just a couple days later, she is going out with someone else. I don't know if she's just trying to make me feel jealous, but it's working, or if she just wants me to leave her alone, or if this is her strange way of telling me that she still loves me but she's afraid of something. I would appreciate it if anyone would have any ideas, but as I said, it'll be hard to come up with much of anything without watching over my shoulder all the time.

Hi everybody. I have a question I would like a few opinions on. I'm sure you all have better things to do with your time, but here goes. First of all, if you really really love somebody and you're afraid that they are going to get themselves hurt, do you just leave them alone and let them do what they like, or do you try to protect them even though they will dislike you for it? Like, for example, say you just had the love of your life leave you, and then start going out with some druggie, or just someone you know will try to use her and won't take care of her. You know she (or he) won't like it if you tell them that, but you know what will happen if you don't at least try to help. I thought I had another question, but it isn't very important anyway, so write back if you have some thoughts. I was just curious. Thanks.

Dammit, why can't I just live my own normal, no matter how screwed up, life without her? Not only doesn't she love me anymore, but she found some other asshole to lie to. Why the hell can't i just get over her? Why can't I put her stuff away and forget about her and quit writing her, and most of all, quit loving her so much!?!? I want to so bad, it hurts so much, but ever since she left me, I think I keep loving her more if that's possible.

Okay, I think there is really several reasons why she broke up with me, and I would like to know if they would be good reasons just in case I ever do get over her, so either a guy or a girl could help. First off, I know it won't seem much to people out of school, but in high school when she's a senior, she gets a lot of grief from people about dating a sophmore. But she never really seemed to care much. Her family is really screwed up anyway and her aunt never liked me so that didn't help either. But should age really be a problem in a relationship? I mean, after we graduated no one would know the difference and no one would care! Secondly. I'm in the band. Some people in bigger cities may not care, but where I live, band is not a cool thing to do. But I'm not really sure if that mattered, because she was in the flags. But would that be a reason to end a relationship. Finally, the biggy. Family. Not the immediate family though. Her family loved me, and her grandmother wanted to marry me 8) but her aunt despised me and lied about me all the time. Her aunt was the reason that we broke up the first time, but we make a pact not to let that bother us. My whole family loved her to death though. But do you think that those three things together could make a beautiful princess (that's what I always called her. My beautiful princess) stop loving you? Or would there be something more that she is just afraid to tell me about? I know you can't know for sure, but any help would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry, I forgot you didn't know my story. I did create one, and then she decided that now that she was a princess, she wanted to find a real prince and I wasn't good enough. So I'm still waiting for my princess to come back. After I put a year into it, she left me broken hearted. That's why I said that.

That was a wonderful story, and I know what you mean about the blender thing. I have given so much love, and the only person that gave it back decided that they didn't want to do that after all, so kept their piece and mine!! I don't know how much more it can take, but I hope it will take enough to find that fairy tale princess I dream of every night before it quits.

I know, I know. She left me, so you're just going to tell me to put everything away that reminds me of her, and separate myself completely from her. I just can't bring myself to put her pictures away. She is just so beautiful, and it feels like trying to hide the sun, in a sense. The only thing I want is to be with her, and I would give anything to make her love me again! I can't help but write her and tell her how my days went. I can't help but look at her and when I walk by, and feel like my hearts being torn in two. You're just going to say that I'm pouring salt on an open wound. But it hurts. Yeah, it hurts when I talk to her and she doesn't tell me she loves me like she used to. But I'd rather be hurt by that then by losing her forever. I guess I don't have a question, because I already know what you'd say, but you can say something if you'd like.

hey guys, I need some help. I am trying so hard to leave her. It's been almost three weeks since she broke up with me. I don’t call, I don’t write (much), and I don’t stop and talk to her. But I can’t help but see her. And she is still just as beautiful, if not more so, then when she loved me. She is just as lovely and still so angelic. It isn't getting easier. If anything it's getting worse. And I've been seriously trying. I can't only imagine what it'll be like when I see her with HIM. I haven't cried for about a week, so I guess that's a good sign. But I still haven't, "come to my senses", so to speak. I still want to be with her. I still love her. Even though she very blatently told me that she doesn't love me and she is going out with HIM and that shouldn't bother me. Should I go back to her, or keep trying to forget her and be miserable without her? I wouldn't be able to stand going out with someone else. So where do I go from here?

First off, I'm a guy. Just in case you don't like to take advice from a guy. If not, then stop reading. Anyway. First off, this c.k. seems like a total jerk to me. I could be wrong, but that's what it seems like to me. Not trying to be mean or anything, but I think that is why you want to go out with him. You just want someone you can't have. Which would explain why you can't get him out of your head. If that is the only guy that you like and can't convince to go out with you, then you are going to keep trying and you'll convince yourself that you love him. And that thing about you not being mature was really low. The girl that just left me after a year told me that she just didn't love me anymore, so I appreciate your stand on sex and love, but if this guy won't even pretend to love you, then he can't be any good. Coming from a guys perspective, I say you should just ignore him and try with every thread of your being to not call or write him or talk to him. And I think you should put away some of the stuff that you have TO remind you of him and go find someone who will love you and take care of you and respect your personal limits and boundaries.[/b]

I don't know how much of a help I'll be, but I can tell you what I think I'd do. First of all, find out why you don't really want to leave her. If it's just because she's pretty, then I would try to leave her. If you really really like her because she is who she is, then I'd try to go back out with her. You get out of a relationship what you put into it. If you don't try to make it work, then it probably won't. Of course there is always the exception. I'm still trying to figure out if you can love somebody and them not love you back, even though I never really thought you could. Okay, so, if you like her as much as you say you do, you should probably try. Just try really hard to make it interesting. Try to make it fun. Hey, maybe if you wait a little bit she'll come to you. But anyway, I would just keep trying. If you can't find anything, and you keep having to struggle and work, then it probably won't work. I hope I've been of some assistance. Good luck.

I agree whole-heartedly. If you ask me (and I guess you kind of did) I would say that he just wanted you for sex and any benifits he could get. I think you should just think about that, and him being short and rude, instead of anything good. That should help get over him. Or, maybe even get short with him when he calls. But I think you should just let him know somehow that you are done with him and wait a little while before you start over.