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Larayn

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About Larayn

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  • Birthday 11/25/1985
  1. I just want to give you a hug and tell that everything will be alright - because it will! I have maybe not been in your exact situation, but wanting to be with somebody that you know is bad for you is a very familiar feeling. And knowing that she is bad for you is not the same as feeling it, but it is a step of the way I think. She was not THE love of your life. She's probably just one of the women you will love in your life. Even if it seems like the most incomprehensible thing right know - you will fall in love again, because that is just how our biology works. Take it from someone who
  2. Where did you get "the massive list" in my post? That seem a little uncalled for. Yes I would like some things in a future partner - don't we all. But few a dealbreakers. Some personality traits, moral values, intelligence, being caring and a certain level of attractiveness (not looking for a model, but I have to find him attractive) is fair to ask don't you think? But you are right - the older we get the more things we have learned out of experience that we want. And that is why I am asking this question - is it a minor thing that can be smoothed over time or is it more fundamentally? Sexua
  3. Well to be fair he does make plans just not the specifics. Like we can agree to see eachother during the week and I ask him which day works best and he answers "which ever i best for you" or he asks me to the movies and I ask which movie he wants to see and he answers "Whichever you like" - same with food, drinks etc. and he allways gets the same as me. Like I said this a small thing, and might be him trying to be mindful of meeting my needs... And he is 32 so just some months younger than me.
  4. Thanks for all the replies. I guess I have to have this talk - not really looking forward to it, but as you say @jellybean9 what do I have to lose :)
  5. Hi everyone Because of all the helpful and kind advice I got in the break-up phase with my ex, I though I would ask for your advice again. I have been dating a guy since december. He is sweet, funny, smart, generous, emphatic, a good person, we share many interests and values and he is attractive (although - and I guess this is one of my issues - he is not the masculine, manly kind of guy I would usually fall for - but that is a little beside the point here). And after many of our first dates - I was up in the clouds with that in love kind of feeling. This all sounds good right? But then
  6. Thanks everyone for the nice comments - they felt like little digital hugs
  7. I guess you are right actually - I just saw the pain from my side. But yeah that would absolutely suck to move in with someone in the house their ex (that you know) lived in. Again feel kind of bad for feeling kind of good about this thought... I don't want her miserable forever, but maybe just a little bit now - just until I'm not miserable anymore ;) Maybe you are right about getting better after the financial part is out of the way - it would be nice to just not be in eachothers lives anymore. And thank you for the sweet words - I hope the future is brighter!
  8. Thank you so much for your reply! I hope you know how much it helped! I had kind of a bad day today (my sister saw the post on Facebook and figured out what that meant - so now other people are figuring out that he is moving in with new gf) - so I reread your post again and it made me feel better. Before I had this feeling that it was a race to who gets to their happy ending first - that he won before I even started. But we are not even in the same race anymore - I can just be me and take the time to get there in my own pace. And that though feels so nice! And thanks for the advice to not focu
  9. JCSK: Well if only I knew that... We had been looking for a place for a while, so might just be very bad timing. It was not mutual - he broke up. We had had a rough patch for a while. The month we moved we had a lot of other things going on - so even just the stress of that made it so much harder. One day driving home to his parents I broke down crying, and told him how unhappy I was and he soothed me and said that it was probably just a phase and we would get through it. But apparently it made him think too and 6 weeks later he broke up - not wanting to fix anything or work on it - just wante
  10. Thanks :) We just agreed on this because everything was raw and confusing when we broke up. And he could not keep the loan on the house alone (he checked this before he broke up which also killed me a little). So being a good sport I agreed to keep my name and my money in the house. The 10 months deadline was just to give him some time so he could see if he could live there financially alone. Anyway that deadline is coming up in 2 months - but I will talk to him about it in 2 weeks when I see him anyway. But he is paying everything that has to with the house. So the only thing is that my
  11. Hey Good advice really - I wish I had thought about this morning before I went on Facebook... Oh well Can I give you a very small advice, that helped me a little bit. There are loads of things that remind me of my ex - some big ones and a lot of small ones, like a movie we saw, restaurant we ate at, food he loved - some are not significant at all - like this escalator on a subway station were we kissed. And whenever I come across one of these things they remind me of him and it hurts. So I started replacing the memories with memories with other people. I for instance watched the specific
  12. Thanks everyone for the advices! I wish I had listened better! You know when people give you good advice, but you're like "Oh but they don't know the situation" or "but they don't know how nice he is". Well that is where I fell in. He probably is a nice guy and not a scammer though. And we did hit it of on text quite naturally, I was just worried about seeming fun. But I got a little too clingy and wrote a little too much, so he kind of backed away politely. So now I doubt I will ever meet him in person. And it sucks! Maybe I learned the lesson for next time :)
  13. Hi everyone I could use a little encouragement or just a sympathetic pad on the shoulder here. My bf of 10 years and I broke 8 months ago. A month ago he told me he had started dating his ex (his high school girlfriend), who I know pretty well and a ok relationsship with (we had a mutual friend so saw eachother at birtdays, when out together, she babysitted our cat, I drove her home a couple of times). Actually I always kind of bragged that you could have an ok relationsship with your bf's ex as long as you were secure in the relationsship. Well wasn't I the fool... Anyway I don't think
  14. Hi After a breakup last year (10-year relationsship) I recently started dating again. And I have been on a couple of dates with very nice guys (also a few odd ones, but that is to be expected right?). But none that I got any really romantic feelings for - no fireworks. And I know that that is not always needed for a good relationsship - but it would be nice though. Fast forward to 2,5 weeks ago were I matched on Tinder with this guy. We start talking and I find out that he lives quite far away, but is moving to my town in 2 months. That of course sucked, but 2 months is not that long (t
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