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jul-els

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Everything posted by jul-els

  1. My mom's not nasty or disrespectful like that. She's a nice person, but once she's decided how things are going to go, then that's how they're going to go, period. There is no amount of reasoning in the world that will make any difference. What can you do with that? Nothing. Nothing at all.
  2. He's got too much going on right now to be worried about dating. I doubt it has anything to do with you. I would just give him his space to take care of whatever he's going through right now. If he calls back after he's more settled, fine. I wouldn't pursue anything for now though and just respect his situation. You could always reach out to him after a bit of time if you're still feeling inclined, but for now I'd keep an arms length and let him get things sorted out as he needs to.
  3. Well, that could be an option once she gets back home and depending on how much of her independence she will be able to maintain. Right now she's bed ridden in a nursing facility, so all I can do is hope she cooperates with the treatment being offered her there and that she gets back home relatively well again.
  4. Oh this isn’t a new development, lol. She’s always been this way. “My way or the highway”. That’s my mom in a nutshell.
  5. No worries at all, I’m just trying to lighten the mood. :) Her infection has been ongoing for a very long time. She mentioned something to me about it a couple years ago at which time I recommended she see a doctor, but she refused. She’s very strong, tough and stubborn. Always has been.
  6. It sounds like you’ve developed feelings for her that you are afraid may grow deeper were the two of you to have sex. Which is the perfect recipe to set yourself up for pain. It doesn’t sound like she has any especially deep feelings for you and sees you as simply someone who will meet her needs. If you’re happy with that dynamic, that’s fine. But leave it as it is and don’t escalate the physical side of it unless you want to set yourself up for inevitable hurt when you feel the growing intensity of your bond with her that she doesn’t share.
  7. Yes, he replied to my text. He just said, “not much we can do” and he’s right. My sister similarly expressed her frustration. We can only do as much for her as she’s willing to accept. *shrug*
  8. Three things. First, you have to know if you genuinely feel reciprocal love for and from her. Secondly, no partner is perfect, but the good has to outweigh the bad in order for you to be happy. Third, whatever things you arenÂ’t thrilled about canÂ’t be non-negotiable for you. They have to be things you are willing to accept and can live with peacefully and with contentment. These are questions only you have the answers to. You just have to be willing to be perfectly honest with yourself about it. Search your soul and there in lies your answer.
  9. But it’s not her caretakers I’m worried about. It’s her. She refuses treatment at every turn. So frustrating.
  10. That’s good to know since I’m her son! Lol! ;) You have no way of knowing that since my gender isn’t posted and my screen name does sound rather feminine. And I know I’m kinda touchy feely sometimes too, lol. Thank you for your support Cherylyn, I appreciate it!
  11. Ok, so they looked at her in the hospital and are sending her back to the SNF this afternoon. They wanted to re-admit her and do further testing, but she refused, of course. So...back to the drawing board... *roll eyes*
  12. She said it's an infection in her breast. I don't know anything else about it at the moment. I made my brother and sister aware of it and my sister texted me back. My sister lives about a three hour drive away and has problems with her feet. She stayed about an hour closer to my mom for a week and was going to visit her everyday, but the drive was bothering her feet so much that she had to go back home before the week was up.
  13. Here is a link for reference to the situation. https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=563817 She got through the surgery with flying colors, which I was very relieved about. They then sent her to a skilled nursing facility for physical rehab. She wanted to go straight home which would have been a terrible idea and I was able to talk her into going to the SNR. She has been there for a week now, doing her therapy twice a day, six days a week. The initial prognosis was they'd be able to send her home within three to four weeks if everything went well. Today she called me and send they were taking her back to the hospital. She has an infection on her breast and they don't like the look of it. I just got this news from her a couple of hours ago. She said she'd call me as soon as she knows anything else, so I'm just waiting for her call at this point. I've been taking care of her dogs since she was admitted, going online to submit her payments on her bills, and generally looking after her house, which currently has two tenants in it and she's trying to rent a third room. I renewed her ad on the room a couple days ago and she's been getting calls on it and I am planning to meet with the applicants and set up and direct any moving in arrangements if we find a suitable applicant, collect the monies, open the house for them at move-in, etc. I was optimistic that she would be out in a couple more weeks, but now I'm back to being worried again. I just have to wait for her call and see what she says.
  14. I haven't read beyond the op, but the two of you aren't on the same page in terms of sexual desire. More importantly, he is disrespectful to you on this issue. You have tried communicating about it, but it seems pretty obvious it isn't going to change. It doesn't sound like this is something you will be able to accept or be happy with, nor should you. It looks like it's probably time to call it quits with him.
  15. Ok, sorry, I’m confused again. So the last time you talked was last week? If so, call him! You’re obviously interested, so show it! Life is too short to play games and you’re too old for that, frankly. You’ve found someone you like; show it.
  16. She could. I wouldn’t. If neither one of us has bothered to contact one another in two weeks, then it’s not worth pursuing, imo. I would let it go at that point.
  17. You have to look inside your heart for the true answer. It sounds like over time you have learned to love this person. Is that love strong enough to be something that could keep you happy and fulfilled for a lifetime? Or will this dimension that feels missing to you always leave you feeling unsatisfied? Only you know the answer to that and it lies within your most true feelings. You have to look at them with unflinching honesty in order to discover the true answer as to whether or not this connection was built to last you until death do you part. You say you’re not attracted to him. Not attracted how? Sexually? Mentally? Emotionally? If any of these are areas of the connection that you absolutely need in order to be happy, then you’re never going to be happy with him. If the thing you think is missing is something you’re ok with not having, then and only then will you be happy. If you can honestly and genuinely reconcile it in your own heart. It will require you to be 100% honest with yourself about this. Without this honesty, you will never be happy with him, or anyone else, for that matter.
  18. I somehow didn't see that part. If it's been two weeks since he's called you, that's it. I wouldn't spend anymore time wondering about it. Just write it off to a nice person who wasn't interested and continue on your search.
  19. I think this is a time where you need to be understanding and supportive and just take it one day at a time. There are possible scenarios and outcomes at play and you just have to sit tight and see what they might be as they develop, all the while being supportive to your boyfriend in this time of need for him. You can navigate the situation as it unfolds. Just don't lose sight of the fact that your bf needs your support right now, first and foremost. If it gets to a point in the future where your fmil does seem to overstepping boundaries, then you can cross that bridge when you come to it. But don't assume anything for now. Just be there for your bf and don't ruminate on it too much. It's just one of those things that happens in life that we have to deal with.
  20. I never go past the main page, so I thought everyone just stopped visiting for some odd reason, lol. Glad to see it's up and running again.
  21. You're getting too involved in her finances. It's too much for someone you've only known this long. It's blurring the boundaries between dating and co-dependency. It sounds like neither one of you want to be in this for the long term, but she's currently got you paying her bills, which puts you on the short end of the deal. I would sever the connection as it doesn't appear to be a healthy one for either one of you.
  22. Who knows? Sounds like he's got a pretty full schedule. If you're still interested just wait and see if he asks you out again. Or you could ask him out, but I know most women don't like to do that and I get why. I'm traditional/old fashioned too, and I personally think the man should be doing that. But there's absolutely nothing wrong with you taking initiative either, if it's something you feel inclined to do. I personally would find it to be a breath of fresh air if a woman were to ask me out. At any rate, if he doesn't ask you out within the next week or two, then you have your answer.
  23. That's good it's still on! Yeah, just have to sit tight and see what travel conditions/orders might be at that time. I'm looking at about the same time frame.
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