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jul-els

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Everything posted by jul-els

  1. jul-els
    Glad to hear it. You’ve made a wise choice.
  2. jul-els
    You’re being very naïve about all of this and you sound as though you’re lonely. It’s a perfect situation for him to get what he wants, sex, and for you to get hurt. Keep toying with the idea and it’s going to end badly for you. But if you insist on learning this the hard way, then that’s what you’re going to do. Once it’s all said and done and you find you’ve been used and your heart’s been broken, you can come back to this thread and see how many people warned you. But it won’t matter then. The damage will be done. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way. And that’s exactly what you’re setting yourself up for.
  3. jul-els
    A chiropractor hugging his client is inappropriate and unethical. It’s a boundary that shouldn’t be crossed in any medical professional setting. You should terminate your relationship with him, personally and professionally, and find a different provider.
  4. jul-els
    It’s irrelevant why he did what he did. Hugging you is hitting on you. Do you not know this? I think you do, but for some reason you’re choosing to deny it. I know you’re unhappy in your marriage and maybe you’re lonely, but you can do better than this.
  5. jul-els
    Why would you want to be involved with someone, romantically or platonically, who’s married and hits on his clients? You’re not thinking it through. You should be asking yourself why you think this is a good idea, because in reality it isn’t.
  6. jul-els
    It’s the latter. And you are openly welcoming it. It would be wise of you to rethink that.
  7. jul-els
    If you don’t know which to choose, neither is an option. Based on what you’ve written here, I’d say it’s your best one.
  8. jul-els
    A newlywed is your long lost soulmate? You need to raise your standards. End of story.
  9. jul-els
    Iconoclasm means nothing to me, so no. Efficient way to find who I’m incompatible with, imo.
  10. jul-els
    Edit: Saw your update. Glad to hear your meeting went well. Sounds like so far so good. 🙂
  11. jul-els
    You’re ‘in love’ with an image created in your psyche via shared screen time. A fantasy. If you want to meet him in person, go for it, then you can start to get a small idea of who he actually is. I would say don’t let yourself get carried away, but it’s too late. Instead I’ll say dial it back enough to make a logical decision about whether you want to meet him in person. If you decide you do, get rid of your expectations beforehand so you can have the ability approach it clearly and fairly and with a reasonable outlook.
  12. jul-els
    No, but if I worked indoors I’d be tempted. Mostly because I don’t like working indoors, lol. During lockdown/furlough I thought I was going to go nuts. I did have a few drinks sporadically whist confined at home when it got boring. Had a lot of a personal stuff going on at home too at the time, so maybe a bit of self soothing going on there as well. So yeah. That’s my tmi, lol.
  13. jul-els
    If you choose to stay with someone who’s wrong for you just to avoid the pain of a breakup, that’s on you. It’s a bad way to go, but if keeping yourself in an unhealthy place is all you want for yourself, then it’s all you’re going to get.
  14. jul-els
    You shouldn’t have looked at her personal correspondence, but you did, and what you found should tell you everything you need to know. She is dishonest and resentful, yet wants to keep you around because she sees some personal benefit from it. This is a clear indicator that this relationship is bad for you and you need to remove yourself from it permanently. This is a lesson for you how not to behave in a relationship. Take the time you need to work on your mental health in order to put yourself in a good place, where you’re ready to have a healthy connection with someone, not rushing into things and investing yourself completely into a relationship with someone who you know nothing about. You found out the hard way. You need to change your outlook and behavior. The time to do that is now.
  15. jul-els
    Who knows? You like him, so you could make the first move or wait and see. It’s up to you how fast you want an answer. The first option will give you an answer quickly, while the second option will take a little longer. Either way you’ll get an answer, so do whatever you’re comfortable with.
  16. jul-els
    Unfortunately, there is no shortcut. You have to feel it to heal it, but in that time you will also learn and grow. We all go through it. Stop looking at his online presence. It’s an unhealthy behavior that will hold you back and keep you stuck in the past. Keep the focus on you, your health and what you want going forward. Although time doesn’t move as quickly as we would like, it always heals, 100% of the time. Iron clad guarantee. All you have to do is to be willing to learn from it. The potential to find your greatness always lies at the other side of heartbreak. Be strong and keep moving forward.
  17. jul-els
    He has shown you through his words and actions how he feels. You should believe him and stop setting yourself up for his rejection, which will only hurt you. He needs his space and so do you. You need your space in order to heal and move on. I’m sorry, but it will get better with time and the sooner you remove yourself from his life the better off you’ll be.
  18. jul-els
    I don’t think you need your gut to tell you this wouldn’t be healthy for you. You’re not obligated and are perfectly free to politely decline, which is exactly what I would do if I were to be put in the same spot.
  19. jul-els
    She still has a thing for her ex. Not telling you her ex would be on her trip was dishonest and then using you as an emotional cushion after feeling hurt by seeing him was completely uncaring and disrespectful. I’m sorry to tell you, she is using you. You would be best served to walk away from her and don’t look back.
  20. jul-els
    You were both kids. The perceived slight was nothing other than growing pains. A minor hiccup. You’ve had a great relationship for 40 years which is something many people don’t get to experience and is something for which you should have gratitude. There are far more egregious wrongs people have and do commit against each other in the dating world. You’re crying over spilt milk. Let it go.
  21. jul-els
    A lot of drama between the two of you due to the insecurities you both cling to. Therapy would be helpful for you both. Both separately and together.
  22. jul-els
    You are both exhibiting very poor boundaries with each other, hence what’s leading to your confusion. You’re trying to fix a situation where trust is lost yet staying together while neither one of you wants to make an effort to repair it. It’s a lost cause for which neither one of you has the strength to walk away from. You should be the one who takes the initiative to end it.
  23. jul-els
    This is who she is. You have to take her as she is or leave her the way you found her. Don’t want to talk about it? Fair enough. Just move on.
  24. jul-els
    Don’t tell any of your co-workers. It would cause a giant ish-storm, particularly for you. I would let your boss know that the information in the software is being exposed. It will demonstrate your trustworthiness to the company.
  25. jul-els
    Uninterested in him. That’s how you should feel if you’re asking my opinion, which you are. Walk away from him and don’t look back.
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