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About figuringthingsout

  • Birthday 10/23/1974

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  1. Well there has been a couple of things, nothing big, which is why I am confused about why he has to be dishonest. For example, she asked for 12 months of post dated cheques for child support. He told me that he wrote them out for her, but instead of doing that he actually only wrote 5 till May and was going to see what to give her in June. I only found this out because he asked me to get him a cheque for his brother. I asked, why lie about it?? He's like, I don't know. I told him that there is no point to the lie, just say no I wrote 5 and am going to recalculate in June. Ok, that's no problem. Like, it's weird. I am wondering if he lied to her ALOT and just isn't used to or doesn't know how to tell the truth. Saturday morning again, we are lying in bed and the cell phone rings to tell him his daughter is up and ready for him to come and get her. I say again, she can phone the house, you do live here. He says I know, I don't know why she doesn't. I don't even believe that he has told her to stop using the cell phone as the main line of communication. Maybe it shouldn't bother me as much as it does. I am a bit of a control freak, so maybe this is something I can't control and am just not accepting it. I do enjoy my time with him, and I do love him. I just have to figure out what to do with him. I have tried to talk to him about it. I really have, I get yes I know, no I don't know why she does things the way she does. Oh well thanks again for giving me somewhere to get this all off my chest.
  2. Thanks Willow, all of your suggestions are GREAT, the only problem is I have already done everything. I've told him she can call the house, and he says she wont. Ok, well why not? And why did she the other night when I wasn't home, but had his cell phone? It seems really silly and small yes, but really why can't they be open with their communication? I don't know. Trust is hard, this isn't the first time he has been dishonest about things with her. It all is beginning to pile up. Maybe it is time to move on.
  3. I totally understand him communicating with his ex, I expect it. He knows that I wouldn't be hurt if he talked to her. I don't know why he chose to lie. I wish I did. I do wonder what is next, and if I will find out. It almost seems that he is protecting her from having to speak to me. Which makes me mad I guess. We live together, yet she will only phone him on his cell phone, never our house, Unless she knows I am not around. He lets this behaviour go. Do I let it go? Is that why he lied? So she wouldn't have to acutally talk to me? I am the mean nasty new girl friend you know. Oh well, thanks for the responses. It gives me alot to think about.
  4. So I am looking for some advice. Background: I am involved, quite seriously, with a man who is separated from his wife. They are divorcing, no worries there, she is living with another man, and he is living with me. I occasionally check his e-mail, why? I don't know. I guess I have trust issues. I have found that he doesn't always tell me the whole story when it comes to his ex and their daughter. So I check. The other day I had to use his Cell Phone, nothing major, but he felt it necessary to tell her (the ex) through e-mail, that I had the phone and to contact him on his other cell phone if necessary. I'm not sure why he felt he needed to do this, other than to protect her from me. I'm not that bad of a person, had she phoned I would have told her how to get a hold of him. But I asked him if he had told her that I had the phone and to call him on another if necessary. He said no. No, he didn't tell her, there is no reason to tell her that. Blah blah blah. The next day when I gave it back, there was an e-mail informing her that he had it back and she could contact him there if needed. So, Lies. I am being lied to. Is it a big one, no. Maybe not really. Maybe. Why lie to me about it. I can tell him I know, but then I will lose my e-mail access, and I would have to admit that I have been invading his privacy. (oops). When do you say, ummmmm no, I want the truth? And if I don't get the truth is it ok to just let it go? Doesn't that mean they just figured out that they can get away with it?? Sorry for the ramble. I am just confused, apparently we are in LOVE and want to marry. I just don't feel like I am getting 100% honesty, but is anyone???
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