deadxheaven

If her best friend didn't have a date she was supposed to have gone to the dance with her. I wouldn't have had any type of problem with that. It just seems that I myself, as a guy, felt threatened by the prospect of my girlfriend being asked by another guy and I lost sight of the fact that this was her best friend's cousin. I dredged up her past (as limited as it was) with the guy and dwelled on it and worried even though the conclusion from that even was that she didn't like him nor see him that way. Also, you're still not listening. Everyone else knows she is in a relationship except for her best friend (because of her disapproving of those online) and thereforeeee her best friend's cousin since they are close and would tell the other. The online thing applies to EVERYONE my girlfriend knows online, including her ex-boyfriend and her other friends. Angel just doesn't like people whom she doesn't know and my girlfriend just would rather not deal with this and so she doesn't talk about ANY people she knows online to her, with myself being no exception. Whether Chad liked her or not or had feelings for her was still unknown but she wasn't going to allow him to act on any of those feelings if he did have any. Again, you're assuming the only reason a guy could ask someone out to a dance would be because he has feelings for her. Relating to my own experience, I once tried to ask a girl to a dance once just to have a date for the dance - I didn't necessarily like her in that way as well. Back to the dance (which is over) my girlfriend felt bad Chad got stood up for his homecoming dance and she's a kind and good hearted person and she didn't want that to happen to him again simply because he had unwittingly asked her not knowing she was involved. She explained that to me saying it seems like an excuse but that makes sense to me. She wasn't hoping he would make a move on her or kiss her or even slowdance with her. It was only going to be for a duration of 2 hours where she even had contact with him. Her best friend was more excited about her date because she went with a guy she actually liked in the romantic sense. My girlfriend viewed the entire experience as just an outing with friends. You just aren't going to understand and you also act as if I haven't discussed any of this with my girlfriend. I feel bad I even started this topic because I am over this and everyone just keeps going on and on trying to upset me. I may or may not post a followup (because after all I am sure you are all dying to know the outcome) as to what actually happened and then I think everyone who is being negative to me can just stuff it.

Yeah, that's exactly what is going on. Wow, thank you so much for showing me the light. How many times have I said that she doesn't like Chad that way and she only went to the dance because he is her best friend's cousin. Had it been any other guy she would have declined. I don't see it as being anything more than an outing with friends now. After the dance, according to the plans she shared to me, he wasn't even in the picture for the rest of the evening and it turned into an evening with her other friends. I already got over this situation, why can't you? You don't listen and I am just bored now so I am going to try to tell you once more, she isn't dating around on me or keeping her options open. This was a special circumstance. We have a committed relationship. If she was going to date around don't you think it would make sense just to do it and not tell me? I mean it'd be really easy to do that and really take advantage of the fact that we are online and I'd probably never find out. Just that she is telling me this should say something. It never was about not trusting her. It just seemed to be in my relationship morals and etiquette something that you just shouldn't do. I was stuck that Chad had said she was going to be his date and I was just looking at it as a date in the romantic sense and not for what it was - a dance. I am not taking advantage of her age or stage in life or trying to control her. She wants to be with me. Again, you make it seem as if I am forcing this girl to be my girlfriend and she doesn't really want to be or maybe this is all in my head and she's just some girl I like and I am delusional. The feelings are mutual and talk about us as a couple and frequently say we love each other. The reason she doesn't tell her best friend and her cousin about me is not so she can go on dates. Everyone else knows she is involved. This dance was not at her own school. It doesn't matter who sees her or not because it wasn't her own classmates. I will repeat again that her best friend would have a problem with me for the fact that I am online. I already attempted to speak to her and she blocked me for that reason only. Once I meet her AND her best friend there no longer will be any issues regarding this because I won't just be someone online. Honestly, I don't owe you any further explanations but as I said I was bored and this was a way to pass a few minutes of time. You're annoying and you know you are trying to get a rise out of me. I can grace you with a reply but after it is all said and done you are online too, and I tune you and your so-called advice out as soon as I leave this forum.

I am not evading your questions. I am pretty sure at some time in there I said that we plan to meet in person. I am not planning to keep this limited to just an online relationship. When exactly that time will be is not certain. It'd be nice to wait until she was older and not so busy with school. You people come down on her for being a minor and don't really try to understand, nor do I really care if you do or don't. Also it is lame that some of you choose to put "gf" in quotes as if the title means nothing to either of us just for the fact that for the time being she is online. Also, these are just side discussions which really have no relevancy to the question I was seeking advice and feedback to. You may think they relate, but to me they do not. The event has happened, she went. It's over with now by this time actually. Now all there is to do is await hearing from her when she gets back tomorrow.

No, no, if she wouldn't have misunderstood that I didn't want her to call me, she would have been on the phone with me and not him. Of course she is allowed to call other people. Calling her ex during a night she didn't think I wanted to talk to her though is what hurt me. Not that she called someone other than me. She has never called her ex since they had broken up until that night and not even spoken to him online for months because all he used to do was flirt to her and hit on her and she was annoyed by it and it upset me. Why subject herself to that for no reason? Now you seem to not believe my words which I said about him and they seem to have lost their credibility. Well, she left him didn't she? Her friends all didn't like him as well and warned her about him. Also, just like me her best friend knew of him but didn't know she was involved with him and she didn't like the guy either. He was making my girlfriend miserable and bringing out bad habits from her. I know what he was like because she would come to me upset by him all the time and she shared to me the actions she was taking because she was so lost and neglected by him. If you want to argue that I am only seeing what was doing as bad habits, when would cheating ever be a good habit? Also, the fact that she didn't tell me herself directly and instead someone else told me is being understood wrong. It was morning and she had to go to school. I came out to the computer too late to catch her to be able to talk with her. The friend had my girlfriend's permission to share to me the conversation she had with her about her calling her ex-boyfriend. You make this sound as if I have my friends spying on my girlfriend and reporting back to me her whereabouts and actions. That is not the case at all. When she was home from school she called me and we discussed it for awhile in the afternoon. It wasn't that she was afraid to tell me or wasn't going to tell me. She's not scared of me and she doesn't keep things from me. If that was the case, let's go back to the whole dance situation. If she kept things from me, why tell me? The details about how she spoke to him where she explained how she was sitting and not lying down and etc. were shared to her of her own free will by me. I didn't and wouldn't have even thought to wonder about such details. Also she wasn't happy to talk to him, it was just something to do, someone to talk to. The call didn't even last that long. On the surface it just seems like something you don't do in the rules of relationship etiquette - calling one's ex-boyfriend. I was upset because of the way the friend introduced it to me, already saying I was going to be mad and upset. So of course, it's self-fulfilling. If you're told you're going to react a certain way, don't you usually react just like that, even though there might not be a real need for it? You've already been set up. Some of you here are trying to intentionally make me upset again over this and it's not going to work. She's gone already by now heading over to her best friend's who lives in another town. The dance will happen this evening. I trust her and always have. She's made every attempt to reassure me that everything will be okay. I don't see it as controlling that I asked for more details about the event and what she was doing with her friends afterwards and she didn't see it as that either. You're just twisting it to suit your own purposes and preconceived ideas. She told me she'd take me pictures to share with me so I can have something to look forward to. I do feel a bit left out since I cannot have physical closeness at the moment with her. There s no doubt in my mind that we are in a relationship. It is stable and supportive and loving. Stop saying that we do not have the same exclusivity rights. I am going to repeat again, had this been anyone other than her best friend's cousin asking her to the dance she would have said no. She doesn't see Chad in that way and as I said before she thought he was joking at first when he first asked her. If she was single even, she told me she would just view the dance as a way to possibly meet some new people and still see it as a night out with friends. She really doesn't have feelings for Chad at all - whether single or taken.

Yeah, I'm not upset that much anymore. It would be really different if the guy she was going with was not her best friend's cousin. She wouldn't even have agreed to go if that was the case. She did express to me how she felt bad for Chad though because he was stood up at his homecoming dance. We discussed the details of the entire day as well as the event itself. That helped me a lot. I learned the dance itself only is to last only two hours. She'll be talking to Angel much of the time anyway. She's pretty sure of it, but she's going to make sure again Chad is aware this is just a date between friends. If Chad wants to slowdance she won't feel like it. He certainly isn't going to try to kiss her. She isn't going to do anything to hurt me. Afterwards Angel, her date, my girlfriend and some other girl are going to hang out at some pizzeria and then my girlfriend and Angel are going to stay over at the girl's house. I won't hear from her until Sunday. I think there really is something to be said about fear of the unknown. The more details I learned the better I felt about things as well. She's even going to bring her camera to take me pictures of herself in the dress and with her friends and so on to share to me when she's home. One unfortunate side effect of my being upset occurred though Wednesday. I was upset and took extra long naps and thereforeeee missed my girlfriend's calls and when she came online the entire day and evening. Completely unintentionally and by accident. She read it as I was avoiding her and thought so far as to think I wouldn't want her to call me for the evening. Instead, her ex-boyfriend whom I mentioned previously came online after them not having contact in months since i had gotten together with her and she offered to call him! So she called him that night during the time when she'd normally call me and they talked from 11 pm until 12:30 midnight. She was unable to tell me she had did this herself. A friend of mine and hers had to relay the information to me in the morning and I dwelled on it all day until she called me for the night and we talked about it better. I was very upset and hurt. It seems that it was innocent though. She told me she didn't even lie in bed like she does with me and instead she was sitting and she remained in her clothes and not her pajammas and made it very impersonal and formal. She didn't make herself comfortable at all and she didn't do any of her night time routine such as taking her contacts out for him or anything. She agreed though she wasn't thinking when she called him even though the call doesn't seem like it was a big deal. He has a girlfriend of his own now and he spoke of her and his college courses and she talked about school and her classes and he asked her how things were with her boyfriend (me) and she was like that's the thing I can't talk about. She told me she had rather been on the phone with me. I guess it's okay she called him? I don't want this to become a habit though. Her ex was a jerk to her and controlled her and she was scared of him and he cheated on her. Even after she broke up with him for me and was trying to talk to him on occasion he'd sneak little flirtatious comments into the conversations and perform emotes such as *kisses* and *nuzzles* or try to call her. I can't understand really why she was so desperate to talk to someone that she chose him of all people. And it's my fault because I have been so upset during our phone calls over this dance situation that she didn't think I wanted to talk to her. It's kind of sad she chose him to talk to over me though, even for one time. It worries me that she could do such a thing if I would stop talking to her. All I saw it as was he took my night when she should have been calling me. It was as if I didn't have enough to be upset over concerning the dance - now this got thrown into the mix.

Yes, we will agree to disagree because your advice and suggestions are a solution you see as something that should happen overall and I am just asking for suggestions on how to handle myself to make it through the rest of this week. I don't take much of what you tell me to heart because you have an automatic bias because you see her as a minor and it distracts you from looking at the specific situation.

Oh no, that's not rude at all. Just because she has made a bad decision in agreeing to go to this dance not realising how badly it was going to affect me and not understanding we had already decided she wasn't going to go, she has to suffer forever knowing this decision removed me from her life.

It has nothing to do with that. She shouldn't be going to the dance with this guy IF he likes her, I don't care if he is her best friend's cousin. This entire situation presents her in a terrible light and the actions she is taking are not typical of her at all. My reactions to this are normal, I think. If I was truly abusive why would I want to try to remove myself from her in the time being until this dance is over? I am not saying I want to remove myself from her permanently. Why do you seem to insist she and I both should date around after we have professed our love for one another? I'm not interested in seeing other people and neither is she. You just don't get it.

Once a month? Let her date around and be happy? Set her free? I thought I had made it clear that she does have a social life and I am not holding her back from it. Are you even listening? We have both been through that stage already of dating and sharing our experiences and not talking on a daily basis, and she was miserable. If she felt she needed to experience a dance or whatever as a high school girl than why didn't she go to any of her own school dances, hmm? So you're also saying that whenever she's signed online I just ignore her and chat to my other friends? That doesn't work and it is very rude and inconsiderate to everyone involved. We don't communicate through emails. We use instant messengers. In saying I should stop speaking to her save for occasional emails once a month, that is also asking me to cut myself off from everyone else I speak to on the chat messenger, because how then would that be fair. Also, she would call me if I stopped talking to her online anyway.

How am I supposed to handle this in the days leading up to it? She wants to call me, she wants to talk to me online. Do I just make myself unavailable or try to talk to her. I want to talk to her but I just end up getting upset, which never ends up good. Both ways are hurting her... and me too.

Yes, I do trust her to either tell me or show me what he said if and when she is able to talk to him before this dance takes place. She doesn't know why he asked her either or for certain how he is going to be viewing it either and she would like to know this as well. The problem is will she be able to speak to him before the whole thing takes place. It's not that I'm trying to monitor her. It would make both of us feel more at ease if we knew why. We discussed this too.

I guess my problem now is that I have it in my head that this is not acceptable in a relationship and I wouldn't be being a decent boyfriend if I was not upset about this. I don't know. I trust her and I tell her this repeatedly although my feelings don't seem to say I do. I have messed up emotions. I love her and don't worry about any harm coming from this. It just seems to be the principle of the thing. I would really like to know why Chad asked her though. If only she would catch him online so they could discuss it and I could know the reasons to have some peace of mind. I really do love and care about her. I hate what I am being like over this. Once it is over with things will return to how they were. She didn't really know how much it would hurt me, if at all. She didn't really understand Chad's wording and because of how she feels about him only saw it as being nothing but a friends thing. She has esteem issues and it just seems strange to me that someone who she never talks to could suddenly want her to be his date for a dance without having some type of feelings for her. I wouldn't blame him, despite what I am probably making her out to be like , my girlfriend is intelligent, interesting, beautiful, but she of course doesn't see any of this in regards to herself so of course, why would Chad see this? I don't see her as desiring to cheat on me. If you're going to cheat, just do it. There is no rule saying you have to tell beforehand or even afterwards. I don't see this as a subtle hint that she wishes me to end the relationship either. It's just a big misunderstanding. I feel like avoiding everyone because I don't like being in the mood I have been in and I wanted to spare her from being subjected to seeing me in this condition. That is not willingly being abusive to her. Also, I think I said I yelled to her? or did I say at.. Because if anything I am beating up myself over this. Trying to adhere to some boyfriend etiquette but losing sigh that this is a special circumstance which doesn't apply to my experiences in my past. So what if he does like her? She doesn't like him back. If he doesn't then the whole thing has been a misunderstanding and I have no problem with him. I just wish I knew and I'm starting to let it eat at me. I apologise for frightening anyone with my descriptions of my mood. It is not how I am on a daily basis. I can't understand why anyone would want to be like that. That is definitely not me. That is why feeling like this is scaring me because it isn't like me at all. I especially don't like being like that with her, and she knows that.

No, and that is why I'm upset because I am torn. I want everyone to come out okay from this one. I am trying to look at this from all sides. I realise it's too soon to back out of it because Chad has only a few days to get another date. If I had known this was still going to happen there could have been more time to work that out so he wouldn't have to take my girlfriend, or at least I would know he considered it as a going as friends thing too. I feel selfish and I get mad at myself. I just can't get over that my girlfriend has to go on a date before I get to be with her. I keep thinking this is a situation that should have happened to her last boyfriend, not me. He wouldn't have cared. He had a "cuddly sleepover" with a lady friend over, which is far far worse. I really just would feel better if I knew the reason Chad asked her to this dance she wasn't even planning on going to. That's not being controlling. She wonders why too. And yeah, I posted when I was still getting over being upset to vent and that was not the smartest move on my part. You people don't know what I am like otherwise really. All I presented was a single side of me from a single night. The other night things were fine. It's just been lthe last few days of last week when I found out the dance was still going on and now this week. What brought on my mood change the other night was I actually found and re-read the conversation from February concerning her being asked to the dance. I'm not holding her back from going to a dance or school or social functiion of any type otherwise. It's just this dance date situation. She just went to a concert not too long ago and she concluded that she would have rather stayed at home to spend time with me because she didn't care if she went or didn't and it wasn't that great. That's not because I have control of her. She sometimes spends the weekend at Angel's from Friday night until Sunday. i miss her terribly and she does too but I don't tell her she cannot go. I respect and understand she has a life outside of me. I want her to do well in school. I try to motivate her to do her homework and keep up in her studies. I am fine with her going to the gym because she wants to stay in shape. I don't tell her what she can and cannot do. I do sometimes make suggestions and try to present things from all sides to her and then hope she makes the best choice. As for me not introducing the subject of the dance right by saying how she had thought it was a joke at first, I had forgotten about that too. It was brought up a month ago.

No to all that.

Yeah, you just sound like you have all the answers don't you. She's not scared of me. You know who was these qualities that you're thinking you are seeig from me? Her last boyfriend. He was controlling, only came to her when he wanted something from her, she was scared to speak to him, often hid under an away message to avoid him. That is not what I am like. The only thing bad here is this stupid dance situation is not bringing out a good side of me right now. It wil be over. I mean, am I supposed to be happy about this? I can't lie to her that it makes me upset. She's not tryinh to upset me on purpose though. I think you could say she wanted to hurt me or wasn't serious about me if this was any other guy but her best friend's cousin. As I have said again, she'd never even consider going to the dance if it had been any other guy. She has no romantic interest in Chad whatsoever. Furthermore, they barely talk.

How can I be coming accross as controlling? Just because I phrase a sentence with the word "abuse" in it doesn't mean I am abusive. I said the term, "abuse this power" .. oh no, I used the word abuse. You seem to be implying that I'm gong to slap around and beat up this girl. This dance, her best friend's cousin asking her to be his date, and her feeling obligated to go to it. That is upsetting to me. I can't imagine what you must think these phone conversations went like with her but I am sure you think the worst. All you did was mark out in red some words which when taken out of context depict me as some abusive controlling jerk. Thanks for that. "I would never do this to her" is to mean I wouldn't go on a date with someone else while I was with her. You once again try to take things out of context Why do you keep insisting that she wants to go to this dance even though she tells me she could care less? She was either supposed to go with her best friend or not go at all. She didn't care either way. If she wants to go to dances why hasn't she gone to any of the other ones at her own school? How can she be doing something that "hurts" me when this decision was made a month ago and I just happened to learn it was still on within the weeks leading up to the date of the dance when I had thought it had been settled before? The idea of her best friend's cousin asking her out to the turnabout dance seemed so absurd she didn't even take it seriously at first.

I sound like I am abusing her? I am reprimanding her for this stupid decision, feeling awful for being like that to her and then punishing myself for it. It isn't easy to be strict to her over this. I am trying so hard to understand her reasoning. I am hurting because I care about her. I am upset over this situation. I don't want this to happen and later she'll be like ... why did I do that to you? It still seems to just be common sense that this is just something you don't do. Any other time things are not like this. Things were just fine until I learned that this dance date with Chad was still going on. I had thought it had been settled last month and had put it out of my mind. She doesn't want to go to the dance. She hasn't gone to any of her own school's dances of her own choice. She wasn't supposed to go to this dance at her best friend and her cousin's school. Chad is messing things up. If she's not that into me why did she make her away message to say: nothing else will do. i've got to have you. She changed it to that soon after I was becoming upset over this last night and then she called me. I want to isolate this that you said and discuss it. Honestly, I just don't think she's that into you. Oh, and Chad wants to go to the dance with her, because he likes her. He wants to date her. And her actions right now speak volumes about what she thinks about that. Where are you getting that Chad likes her and wants to date her from this? Chad isn't around for her to get the answers as to why he asked her out. Chad wants her at this dance which she wasn't even intended to be at and I need to know why. I don't know what the reason is, but that is one possibility. My girlfriend's actions speak volumes about what she thinks of Chad supposedly liking her? If Chad does in fact like her, that doesn't mean my girlfriend is lost to me now. I mean. if someone likes you does that automatically require you to like them back? No. She has made it clear to me that she doesn't like him. If he wanted a date for that reason then he wasted his time and should have asked someone else. She is going to the dance for her best friend's sake, not for him. She however, would feel bad to turn him down now and leave him without a date just because he made the mistake of choosing her when she is involved (because he doesn't know she is, so he doesn't know any better). I had no idea the whole not telling her best friend would result in a situation such as this and I'm sure she couldn't have foreseen such a thing either. As I said earlier, when he was asking her to this turnabout dance she didn't even think he was serious and thought he was joking around. If we want to get technical, she shouldn't be allowed to go because the rules are girls ask the guys and he asked her. Also for that reason, I suspect if she comes in as his date everyone at his school is going to think she asked him to this and not the other way around. For that reason, I am glad this is not my girlfriend's school.

Her other friends know, it's just her best friend because she disapproves of people who are online. Because her best friend and cousin are close, her cousin doesn't know either. My girlfriend has three sisters and they know I am her boyfriend. In saying that she's playing along and hoping I break up with her - she's not. If she wanted to be done with this, why not just ignore me? Why keep coming to me? She messages me first when she's online. She calls me after she gets home from school. She calls me every night. I don't make her do those things. She wants to do them and I love her for it. In fact, when I feel like it's not going to be a good experience for her because of my mood lately, she still wants to call me and talk to me online. I admit too that it'd be weird if she didn't call. I could say I didn't want her to, but I'd be lying. i just would be trying to be considerate of her and spare her from my mood. This is hurting and confusing her as much as it is to me, she just doesn't so easily show her emotions like I do. I realise it's not healthy for me. You're not telling me anything I don't know with that. Everything should go back to normal after this stupid dance is done with, or if she's able to talk to Chad and report back to me what his intentions for even asking her to this are. End this? End what? The relationship? That would be stupid because it would seem to say, hey, I never did believe that you and Chad were just friends. I'm going to break up with her because she's not telling her best friend about me? Her best friend who blocked me only with justification by the fact I was a person online? Breaking up is not an option to me. That is such a * * * * * way out. Who wins with that type of solution. I know it seems hard to believe but we are serious about this relationship. It's not just something to pass the time. See what happens? I assume you mean the threat of a breakup would be to see if she'd cancel the dance for fear of losing me or would she still continue with it. That'd be a waste. I have three months with her already. Her last boyfriend treated her horribly and he didn't deserve her. I've wanted to be with her for awhile now. After pretty much deciding I would never be with her, I finally get her and I'd voluntarily give her up? If I break up with her, I won't be able to speak to her but I'll want to speak to her so I will have to forcibly remove myself from the internet chat. It would hurt too much. This would take me away from all of my friends. How selfish would that be?

I didn't ignore your replies, I answered on Page 4. All I can say is that she fears that Angel isn't going to accept me because I am someone who is online. I already have illustrated how Angel feels about people who are online with the fact that she blocked me after i contacted her with nothing but good intentions and concern for my best friend. Her best friend's attitude is the cause of this. My girlfriend feels that she is protecting our relationship by not telling her best friend, whom she thinks is going to disapprove of it because she dislikes online people. That is her opinion though, and I would think Angel would allow her best friend to have her own opinion because obviously she's not objecting to her having online friends. The two of them are not currently on the best of terms either but they will remain friends because they have been so for many years. Iit's sad because my girlfriend honestly tells me she cannot remember us making the decision in February for her to not go to the dance, she never called it off and now if she declined, Chad has only a few days to find someone else to go with him as opposed to all of last month. I tried to accuse her that it was convenient forgetfulness, but I really don't think so. It just seems sad she had forgotten because that conversation was a not so favourable discussion as well. All I seem to do lately is make her feel bad. I do trust her but I think the fact that I am getting so upset over this, thinking that is the proper response a boyfriend should have to this situation, seems to say I don't trust her. I don't want to be taken advantage of or walked on. If this stupid date proceeds, I want this to be the last and only time. She doesn't even want to go but she feels she has to because of Angel. I've never been in a situation like this. I don't want her to think I can be manipulated to go along with anything. The only reason it is happening is because he is her best friend's cousin and she won't tell her best friend about me. Had this been any other guy the decision would have been simple. The cousin and my girlfriend don't even talk to one another much at all. Why the hell does he want her at this dance??? And about the breaking up thing - she wants to be with me to the extent where she has made it so she has no choice. She has told me that if we are to ever break up, I am going to have to be the one to end the relationship. Not her. This gives us security in that as long as I don't break up with her, we're going to be together. Of course, she could still be mad at me or upset but it's not affecting the relationship or placing our relationship in jeopardy. I am trying my best to not abuse this special power, but I have yelled to her to where I am making her feel like crap, and then cried afterwards because it hurt me to be so mean to her. Just because she won't break up with me doesn't mean I should have free reign to be an a** to her. Am I justified because she is being a b**** to me by holding to her decision to go as Chad's date? I say that because I believe any other girl probably would have gotten sick of me being how I am being and dumped me by now. I expressed genuine concern about how I think about this situation and I get upset and then it just ruins everything. Online conversation, the nightly phone call. Other nights I put it out of my mind and I have a good conversation and nightly call. It's unpredictable what mood I am going to be in and my mood can also suddenly shift without warning. I don't want my girlfriend to become scared to contact me with an attitude of "omg, i wonder what mood he is in over this today". She reassured me she wouldn't hide from me by being online but not speaking to me. I feel like I am being mean to her. I can't change her mind on this. I feel bad she has to get up and go through the day of school knowing her boyfriend loves her but he is less than thrilled with her at the moment. Angel keeps talking to her about dance this, dance that whenever they speak online. My girlfriend keeps citing to me her reasons and she seems to provide good arguments for them. I just keep telling her I would never do something like this to her. Getting word on Chad's intentions seems unreliable. Of course not, why should something actually work out where my mind could be put at ease? This is going to be a long week. It's affecting my disposition. I snap at people. I have a short temper. I can't concentrate and do the things I used to enjoy. I have headaches. I don't feel much like eating. I hope she won't be able to go - won't be able to get a ride, or at the very least they won't be able to sneak her in. If they cannot sneak her in, though, I won't know until she comes home Sunday, so I'll still be stressed over it.

Well, I was alright about it until she called me tonight. The phone call was already destined to be a disaster because I made myself upset re-reading the log from February when she was asked to the dance, and it made me upset. Part of the problem of why details were not immediately confirmed as to why he was asking out her to the dance and not someone else, and if it was meant to be a friends thing or what, were left unanswered because she thought he wasn't even serious and that he was joking. The dance is a turnabout dance where the girls are to ask the guys. He was going about it all wrong in asking her because that isn't even the rules. This was Chad, her best friend's cousin. He couldn't possibly be serious. Later on of course, we all learned he was serious. This seems like it is going to be the longest week. Even if she can't go to the dance because they won't be able to sneak her in, she's still going to be gone Saturday evening until Sunday evening with us having no communication. I won't know whether she went to the dance or instead she went to some pizza place while Angel and Chad attended the dance. She told me again she can't stand him up now because it's only days away. It's unfortunate I didn't learn she had forgotten that we had agreed she wasn't going to go to the dance until now because it isn't fair to Chad if she were to bail on him now because it doesn't leave him much time at all to find a another date. I learned also now that not going with him also reflects upon her because he is Angel's cousin. Would Angel's mother view her the same knowing that she hurt Chad's feelings? Would she give her rides to places from then on? The original plan was for Angel and my girlfriend to go together if Angel couldn't get a date. If Angel got a date, my girlfriend wasn't even supposed to go. Chad asking her to be his date was very unexpected and as I said she didn't even believe he was serious. Also, what I find strange and she does too is Chad and her barely talk. She hasn't seen him in person since December and he's barely online. This of course is also a disadvantage because she might actually not be able to catch him online before the dance to ask him the important questions so I have the answers before she leaves. Of course, she'll present them to him when she is there, but I would be more secure if I knew the reasons too. Why would he ask someone he barely speaks to to be his date to this dance? I can't help but think he is harboring feelings for her. He must like her. My girlfriend is an incredible girl, how could anyone not like her? She has never gone to any of the dances at her own school, let alone this school. It apparently is a somewhat formal dance, she told me she is going to wear the dress she wore as part of her Halloween costume. So it's not a casual t-shirt and jeans type event, apparently. Once again, she reassured me that nothing is going to happen and even if he did ask her out because he liked her... "would I care for it? no". Also since they don't talk much anyway, she's going to talk to Angel, who hopefully won't be too preoccupied with her own date. Whatever the case, my girlfriend told me she won't allow herself to be alone with Chad. This is very frustrating to my girlfriend because I seem to come off like I don't trust her, but I do. I just am still stuck on this situation just not being the right thing and something you should do when involved with someone. It's so out of character for my girlfriend to be doing this. She loves me and is devoted and committed to me but this seems to say otherwise and she realises that and is sorry for it. She also realises I don't like the way I am behaving at times to her when I get angry and upset and come close to yelling at her or saying something stupid. She tells me over and over she'd rather we be speaking like this rather than not talking at all. For a few days I was okay and we had a great night the other night actually, and now this. I still feel bad to be subjecting herself to this I am ashamed of how I am at times. I suggest that maybe I should stay offline and unplug the phone so she can't call because I am ashamed and embarrassed by how I am being. That would hurt me. That would hurt her though. I want to just punish myself for being difficult. I can't come up with anything that would just affect me and not her, so I give up. I feel really overall I am being a jerk now about this. I understand also that this situation doesn't need to be like this. I tell her I don't deserve her and she tells me that it's times like these that I deserve her the most. She tells me again and again she won't leave me. I'm not going to lose her. I'm not breaking up with her over this, she's not going to break up with me because I am being how I am being over this. Most of you on here may find this hard to believe, but this girl really loves me.

best. advice. ever. THE END.

And that is...

It has never happened when she was considered to be single before. My girlfriend isn't going to allow her best friend to set her up on dates with Chad. I am pretty sure if Angel wasn't going to attend this dance as well she would have worked harder at trying to get out of it; even going so far as to making up a story that she had been grounded. My girlfriend is actually annoyed by her best friend at the moment because Angel had kept going through so many guys herself, and she is obsessed with this guy who views her as only just a friend, but she wants to make others think the two of them are in a relationship. My girlfriend finds this to be really tacky. Why would my girlfriend go out with Chad to the point where it would seem like a relationship, when she has no interest in Chad in that manner? She's going to have to put her foot down sooner or later if this type of pattern continues. Once I get the verdict on how Chad is viewing this dance, I will just go from there. It will be pretty clear to Chad he has no chance with my girlfriend when she tells him she only sees him as a friend, if he ever thought otherwise. It's not like he'd have much opportunity to interfere either since he doesn't even go to her school. She has little to no contact with him unless he would happen to be over at Angel's when she is there. She talks to him here and there online more than she sees him in person.

Yes, I would. She has no reason to lie to me and she didn't need to even tell me she had been asked by him to the dance. She could have mentioned to me that she was going to the dance still because Angel wanted her there. I didn't need to be made aware of any other details and sadly, I would have been none the wiser. She's not like that though. If you're going to cheat, why arouse the suspicions? I just have never been in a situation such as this before and she didn't think much of it since "he's my best friend's cousin" ... I was looking at it all wrong and handling myself wrong concerning it. She even said she's going to just spend time with her best friend rather him if she even goes. Now, if this had been some other guy (other than her best friend's cousin) and he had asked her to be his date for the dance, she wouldn't have had any problem whatsoever turning him down. In fact, she wouldn't have even had to think about that. It would have been an automatic "no". She's not trying to sneak around and go on a date with another guy while she is committed to me. This is the ONLY thing that has been bothering me about my relationship with her, other than personal business involving her self esteem and whether she feels she is "good enough" for me. A girl who is presenting a choice of whether I want to be with her or not is not someone who is online dating me and seeing me as only an online person just to pass the time with for something to do. She has a social life, she has school and classes, she goes to mall, and everything such as that. She is trying to balance her time between these things and being around for me and making a real effort to make me feel involved with her and understand I am a part of her life. We could have remained as just friends, but we both desired to take it further. The feelings are mutually reciprocated. We do not regret this decision.

Yes, it will.