rich84

well, it's been a little over 2 weeks since i found out that she cheated on me. i've managed to not contact her or see her for 9 days now, but i've still got some of her stuff and she still has a few things of mine. don't know how to swap stuff... any thoughts? i'm still keeping close with friends and family, tuesday night i watched a couple of movies with my sister and that was about 4 hours that i didn't even spend a single thought on my ex or the situation... that was pretty nice, no worries. however, that came after a very rough sunday night and all day monday, two very bad days. And though it's not a solutions merely a quick fix for a few hours... i turned to booze for a few days... nothing to knock me out or get into trouble. but it really didn't help much... when i get buzzed or drunk i just tend to think about things more. i had two of my buddies with me though and they let me talk when i needed to and let me be when i need that. keeping busy is really the only thing keeping me sane, and a third buddy of mine, who is willing to literally show up when i need him to.. i don't always give him the credit that he has proven he deserves. I'm thankful to have him as a friend though. this weekend i'm supposed to catch a movie and hang out with my dad... something i don't get to do much, so i know that will help a lot. there are still a million thoughts and feeling flowing through me.... and i know time will only make things better, but i'm impatient... i don't like not knowing how long or when it will all be settled but i'm taking it all in stride. i want to thank everyone again. i know that there are people out there with much more severe problems than i have, but i truly appreciate everyones comments and suggestions. it all helps so much, thanks

this all still sucks so much. honestly, what does it take to do this to people? i'll never understand it... it's so horrible.

deep down i know that not seeing her and no contact will be the best. it's just everything on the surface that's hard to get past. and it's the times like right now that make it even harder. most everyone i know is working or unavailable, so i am alone. left to think no matter how much i shouldnt or how much it hurts, or how much i need to get away from it... the down time is hard. the last 2 days i got out of town, and spent time with family. i've also gotten some food in my stomach and finally got some quality rest. currently though the negatives still outweigh the positives

this is all so tough, i talked with my ex for about 20 minutes late thursday night. she has made it clear that the guy she cheated on me with and her are in a relationship (by the way of seeing eachother... so dating would be the proper term, but not a ful on couple) as for her and i, we are obviously not together. the other guy is in the service and is out of town for the 4 to 5 weeks. then he will be back in town and then he goes away for another 6 months, and he is planning on going to active duty. she is the type of girl who needs to see and needs to be close to the person she is with. i'm having a hard time understanding what she is thinking. I know that she cheated on me, but the situation she has gotten herself into... doesn't fit who she is. i've also gotten the matter of her "wanting time to think" figured out. she still has feelings for me. there are days when she can't stop thinking about me and wants to be with me, and there are some days that she doesn't think that she can be with me anymore. she's expressed her interest in taking the time that she now has (with him out of town and our relationship at an end) to figure out who she wants to be, and what she is looking for. through the breakup (a 2 week period before i found out she cheated) there was limited contact, and she made the advances to get ahold of me and she wanted to work on us and rebuild our relationship. then i found out what had been going on, and how she is torn within herself as to what she wants. she cheated on me... and as many people have already told me... i need to forget her and i need to move on. though there have also been those who have said that if the time would come and she figured out that i am the one she truly wants to be with i should think hard and carefully as to the move i would make. she has hurt me badly, but i can't help but feel that the other guy took advantage of the bumpy road that she and i were on and worked his way in on her. i wish that she could have come to me then, and made a clean break... now don't get me wrong.... i'm not saying that i would take her back... but if the time came down the road that she did want to be with me... should i consider it or shut her out completely, which leads to this question. has there been a time when someone has been cheated on, and a second chance was granted... that it worked out in the end? AGAIN... don't get me wrong, i miss her and i will always love her, but she has hurt me very badly. I can't help but think that i would be crazy enough to give her another shot. as much as i have tried to stay busy and to talk to friends and family, it's just so hard to not see her, for 2 and a 1/2 years we were together every day, i miss her... i miss her piercing blue eyes, and the way that no matter what was going on, she would wrap me up in her little arms and just hold me...

to all of those who have shown an interest. i just spent about 2 hours with her talking... and think more truth came out. but talking to her has helped shed more light. i think (like you've said) that in time i'll be ok. but that doesn't help the immediate pain and hurt. the talk that we had today i think helped to close some open chapters.... and a realisation that we won't get back together

hey everyone, things haven't gotten much better, still not much sleep and pretty much no appetite i've been thinking and don't know truth from lies... i'm working on it

yes my head is clouded, millions of thoughts and feelings. i got about 3 more hours of sleep and since i've gotten up i watched tv, felt bad... and just got back from a get together with her father. yesterday it just felt right to call him, he's always been open and there if i needed it. i got a bunch more information that i didn't know and tried to correct lies that she told. the story her family knows and the story that i know are nothing close to the same. now i'm all alone again, so this is where it kinda starts getting bad again. i miss her and i know that i love her, but if we don't end up together then i just hope that she is better off. could i sit and bad-mouth her... yes, but that isn't the person that i am. thanks again everyone

that grey area is tricky... from my perspective i would want you to tell me. though it wasonly a kiss (or kisses) what about next time? if you and this guy get together or take more steps toward it, what do you do if it happens again? now should he know? honesty is key to me... and i wish a few more. but i like the idea of laying groundwork to know where it all lays, after you do that, then decide if it is something that he should know, start things off on the right foot

damn... 3 hours of really bad sleep just didn't help at all. at least when i went to bed before i was really buzzed. now i can't fall asleep, i try and i keep thinking about stuff... keep seeing this guys face... the note i found that broke the ice... the look on her face whenshe was telling me about it. this is the most amount of pain that i've felt before, i don't know what to do...

hey everyone... thanks for your words of encouragement... it hasn't even been a full day, but i've lost someone i care about, also found out she cheated (by way of intercourse and other things) on me, found you great people... then went out and drank every time i felt pain or anger... so now i'm going to pass out after a 28 hour day...i think that's about all i can handle... thank you all again, but please... don't stop.. even if it's repetative, let me hear from you... I'm man enough to say that i'm going to cry myself to sleep now, goodnite

i grew up kinda to myself... it's hard to show emotion on my sleeve, whether it's anger or sadness... i really start to fall apart when i'm alone without anyone to talk to. so i've been trying to talk to some people and i joined this... i've got a friend coming over to talk to and to help me get my mind off it for now... believe me... it's going to hit later... and as hurt and betrayed as i feel right now... i'm not the type to call her names or get violent. that stuff leads to trouble...

she has been all i've known for the last 2 and a 1/2 years... time will tell i guess. thanks guys... please though keep that helpful information coming. thanks again eveyone... i'm gonna go try to relax

"her excuse was that everyone thought she was cheating anyways... so she drank too much and then 2 times in one nite, then a week later again no alcohol and by choice..." i know i have to work things out on my end... and that it's ultimately up to me if i want her back... her angle is that she needs time to find herself (whatever that means). she said that she still wants to be with me and that she still loves me, but that she doesn't know how strong the love is and also that if she chooses to try and make us work. that if done wrong, moving to quick or jumping into it without knowing for certain... she doesn't know if she would cheat again or not...

honestly nothing hasset in yet... she left at 1pm and it's only 4... it feels like it should be tuesday by now.

her excuse was that everyone thought she was cheating anyways... so she drank too much and then 2 times in one nite, then a week later again no alcohol and by choice... I'll admit that i felt that something was not right, so i kept confronting her. i just noticed little things had changed and she started to get distant. i met the guy mid january, and by the end of the month she slept with him. reply question: can you ever really trust anyone..

I'm new to this... my girlfriend and i have been dating for about 2 and a half years. just this morning i found out that she cheated on me with a friend. I care so much for her... i love her, but now she needs time to decide what to do. this is the first time i've been cheated on... any advice or if anyone is willing to comment or talk. you don't know how much i'd appreciate it... so the question is wait and forgive or should i cut my losses?