I dated a guy for about a year and a half, and was friends with him for several years before that. We had a fairly serious relationship; we discussed a future and even shopped around for engagement rings. But after constant arguing and just becoming tired of one another, we decided to break up for a while.
He cheated on me early in the relationship with his ex, whom I knew. She was known to have a clingly/crazy personality when it came to relationships, so when she would call and text him, it didn't bother me. About 2 months after he and i started dating, he told me that he had cheated on me. At that time he said it was only once, and that they kissed and nothing more had happened. Although I was hurt, I eventually got over it (for the most part). But thats when our relationship changed. He became paranoid about what guys I talked to (i've always had alot of guy friends in my life), and wanted me to stop talking to my best friend (who was a guy). I refused to stop talking to my best friend because I felt that he had no right to demand that from me. Eventually I did though. He also would take my phone and read my text messages and check my phone log. This irritated me because I felt it was an invasion of my privacy, even though I had nothing to hide. I felt it crossed the line.
Our relationship started to diminish slowly when jealously and the inability to trust one another set in.
We have been broke up for almost 3 months now, and in that time I've found that he cheated on me with his ex 3 times, and it was not just kissing, although it was in the first month of our relationship. I also found out that a girl that he was "friends" with (whom I know VERY well, or so I thought) had been having late night phone calls with one another for the last 4 months of our relationship. I had expressed my worry for her before, but he said that they were friends. After I found this out, I questioned him about it, as well as her, and they both said it was just to discuss his and I's relationship issues.
Although I appreciate her help, he had a tough time discussing problems with me, so I felt as if this was betraying me.
Recently we have started talking about us again. He has been telling me that he wants to get back together with me, but his actions don't reflect his words. Calls only at night when he is coming home from work, no invites to dinner or to hang out. This worries me. Also Recently I found out that he has been texting and calling another girl in a semi-serious manor. He says they are just friends, but I'm not sure whether to trust him.
I love him, and I really do believe that he can be a better person than what he portrays. But I'm not sure I want to go through the heartache if we were to break up again. I'm also unsure of this other girl, who seems to be pursuing him in a vigorous manor.
Any advice would be most appreciated!!!