I was dating my ex for about a year, when we broke up at the end of summer. We were extremely serious with each other, and we had plans to move in together.... Until something happened between her and her own ex, before he left for Iraq, and she felt too guilty to be with me any more. She said she needed some time on her own to get past her guilt. She told me she didn't want to be with somebody "forever", who she hurt so badly, but at the same time, she was madly in love with me.
We kept in contact for the next few weeks, and one day invited me out to a friend's house. I agreed, and we had an "alright" time. On the way home, she asked me why I was so quiet, and I just told her it didn't feel right to hang out with her, because I missed her too much to just be friends with her. She responded by telling me she wanted to work things out.
A few weeks after this, we got into an argument on the phone, and I hung up on her (yeah i know.... not really mature). A few days later, I found out she started dating somebody, and she ended up dating him for about a month.
The whole time she was dating him, she called me regularly, telling me she just got scared off from our fight, and she doesn't like him "that way", and that she misses me, and she needs me. I refused to take her phone calls, until one day I accidentally picked up, thinking she was someone else. I just stated "if you think you made a mistake, prove it. But don't keep dating the guy, and calling me telling me you made a mistake. That doesn't show me anything."
She broke up with him immediately, and told me she was ready to give her all again, whenever I was ready to take her back. She said she was ready to spend the rest of her life with me, if we could work it out, and get back to where we were. She said she just wanted to prove that she's not going away again, first. We hung out regularly for a few months, and got along pretty well. We got into a fight here or there, since I was still getting past everything, but overall it was working well. On Valentine's Day, I made her dinner, and hinted about getting back together. I was pretty much getting over what happened between us, and I was ready to make an attempt trust her again. She didn't really respond, she was just distant. In fact, she was distant the entire next week. Finally, last wednesday, we met for dinner at my apartment again. I went in to kiss her (we had been kissing for the past few weeks), and she turned her head away. I asked if there was something wrong, and she just said "no", and kept talking about her day. Finally, I looked at her, and told her that I don't want to be "just friends" with her anymore, I'm ready to be with her again as a couple. She responded with "we just don't have what it takes to work this out." She said when she's without me, she daydreams about me, and misses me, but when she is with me, she has this terrified feeling, "like walking into a strange person's basement." She asked me what she should do, and I told her, if she's scared to be with me, there's nothing at all I can do to change that, the only way to not be scared, is to leave what scares you. So I let her go.
Now, a week later, she called again, stating that she had my library books to give back to me, and to meet up. I ignored her phone calls for a couple days, and finally responded today. She offered to meet up with me for lunch, and I agreed - I need those books back. lol.
During lunch, she chatted my ear off, and was acting like nothing happened between us. In fact, she even asked if she could come over next Thursday for "our cat's birthday". I told her I'd think about it, and left it at that.
I really don't understand this girl anymore, like I used to. Prior to what happened between her and her ex, we were in a solid, stable relationship together. Now, it's almost as if she is terrified to be with me, but at the same time, terrified to be without me. So it's like a cycle. This past time, like I said, I gave it months for her to prove herself, before I allowed myself to take her back, and the second I did, she wigged out again, and left.
So what exactly do you think she's trying to do now? And what should I do? I'm still in love with this girl... but now I'm back to not trusting her actions again.
