First some background information:
I'm 25 years old and currently going to college for my Associate's and certification for networking.
I have never dated before in my life and my self esteem is very low.
High school was a very horrible experience in my life. A day would not go by where I was not picked on or made fun of. And basically I had no one to turn to for support, I had very little friends and could not count on my parents. This is what contributed to my self esteem issues.
I do realize that high school is nothing compared to the real world but there is still this lingering feeling that I can't shake. As if everything will fall apart again if I make a fool out of myself.
Now fast forward to the present. This is my 2nd term and I've gotten pretty comfortable with all the people in my major. There's this feeling of comraderie amongst us, we actually help each other with study groups and such. Trying to make sure that we all graduate together. Which helped my self esteem a bit so I basically didn't care if I had a girlfriend or not.
At the beginning of the semester while waiting for class to start I notice this girl accross the hall eyeing me. I brushed it off as just looking since people glanced around all the time.
More days pass and everytime I am waiting for class to start I notice her staring at me each time. Again, I'm in denial and I brushed it off. I didn't actually suspect that she was interested until I was in a lab one day and she walked by the room, she was staring at me the entire time while walking by the window.
So one day I decided to test her attraction by making eye contact in return. She didn't stop looking and it was very hard for me to maintain it since she was making me so nervous. It felt like an eternity. I tried to smile but it was such a shaky smile that she probably didn't even notice. This lasted about 10 seconds or so.
I also noticed that she was kinda mimicing my stance. I was standing with my arms behind my back and she was doing the same, except sitting down. Which must've been kinda uncomfortable for her.
Because of this long stare, I decided to make the first move and introduce myself the next time I see her. I arrive early as usual to my class and waited but she didn't show up until about 5 minutes before my class started so I ended up going inside.
I was still determined to talk to her so I decided to at least say hi to her after class. I sat down at the table in the hall and started doing some of my homework. She still stayed behind in her class for about 10 minutes or so and when she came out I got up and approached her. You have to understand that this was a VERY BIG BREAKTHROUGH for me. I have never done this before and was so scared.
I just told her that I wanted to introduce myself and asked her a few questions, like what was her major and if this was her first term. She replied with one word answers and didn't ask anything in return.
I looked for body language signals. She was smiling the entire time but..... she looked like she had an embarrassed smile. She was laughing a little bit, but because of the embarrassment again, I did not say any jokes or try to be funny. I was pretty awkward, I smiled, but I think she sensed me being nervous and lacking confidence. She was probably laughing because there was this idiot making a feeble attempt at hitting on her.
Anyway, because I was sensing the embarrassment. I got the impression that she wanted me to leave her alone. So I tried to give her an escape route by asking her if I was making her late for something. She said she did and had to leave and I apologized for holding her up. I said it was nice meeting her and let it go from there.
The only reason I approached because she was constantly looking at me. I guess it meant nothing. But I'm still unsure about her embarrassment. Could she have been embarrassed because the guy she was interested in was talking to her? Or because the idiot was hitting on her? Did I also come off as a creepy guy by waiting after class? Is she just shy? Should I even attempt to talk to her again?
I'm thinking maybe she was just shy since she doesn't really talk to anyone else in the hallway waiting for class to start, except for one older woman who seems to be outgoing.
I'm starting to regret approaching her since she's gonna see me everytime before that class starts and think that the creepy guy is there again.
Sorry for making this so long.
