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lmterre

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About lmterre

  • Birthday 07/09/1985

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  1. Just thought I'd give an update for you all: Last week I went camping with some friends and the ex called where we were at (to talk to someone else). She asked if i was there and they said yes, and she asked to talk to me. We talked maybe 3-4 minutes, real light, brief. I made a point not to ask questions about what was going on with her, but she was very inquisitive about my life. I responded briefly and tried to sound as upbeat and happy as possible to her questions. Overall, the talk ended on a positive note, and I felt fine with it. I got a text when I returned home from her apologizing for wanting to talk to me, and that I didn't sound happy to talk to her. She also asked that someday I might forgive her. I responded that I didn't understand because it was great to talk to her and that I was doing very well and I hope she was too. On Friday, some friends and I decided to go to a baseball game to grill and drink. She called my friend and asked if they could come. My friend asked me if it was OK, and I said they can do whatever they want. They came and we talked some, but the conversation went well. We ended up hugging and said our goodbyes. They were supposed to hang out with us later, but they ended up never coming back. I was fine with this as I was having fun with my friends and didn't plan on seeing her anyway. I feel like she is keeping tabs on my and keeping up with me and my life, which is a good sign I guess?? I've made no effort to contact her nor follow up with her life. I'm completely letting her do whatever she wants to do without my interference. I also went on a date Saturday night with a very nice girl. The only problem is she just came off a two year relationship, so she was a little reserved. We both knew about each other beforehand, so it wasn't awkward. I made it a point to never bring up anything about our exes, and we had a great time getting to know each other. I feel like I'm doing well, but I still hurt. I guess I just need to suck it up and press onward. Your thoughts and words are much appreciated.
  2. I know it's been a while since I posted, but I haven't heard any response from you all yet. I haven't heard anything back since I responded to her message either. I found out about her spring break plans when I went out to dinner with some friends, one of which used to date her roommate who was his ex. Weird. Anyway I tried to be as upbeat and positive as possible focusing only on me while I was around them. I think I left a good impression. I'm still wondering if I should write anything back since I was so short with her, but I just don't know. I feel like I'd be ready to talk lightly with her and not bring up the relationship and hopefully not be weird about it. We tried that before and I failed, but I think I have it in me now. She's going on spring break next week, so I think I might be able to contact her after she gets back . I definitely don't want to interfere before she goes. What do you think?
  3. After much thought, careful deliberation, and counseling from others, I responded to her message last night. Short, Sweet, and to the point. "God has really blessed my life...i'm glad to hear you're doing well too....God Bless You" I don't expect a response, and I'm in no way emotionally attached to the hope of any reciprocation. I cannot elaborate on my life for her, nor do I need her to elaborate on hers for me as long as she feels this way. Maybe one day that will change. Who knows. Until then, I'm living life for me and God's will.
  4. bump for no reply...someone please help....I still haven't responded.
  5. I just checked my mail and she sent me 2 messages last night. (First contact initiated by her in 3 weeks) Message 1 "So, wow. It seems like a lot is going on in your life right now. I'm not gonna lie... it's a little weird for me to hear about it all and not be a part of it. Umm... anyways. It's great! I guess is what I'm trying to say. I hear you got a dog. I would love if you would put a picture up of it. Is it a boy or girl? Name? You know I'm a sucker for puppies!! I'm doing well. I hope you are too, but it seems like you are and that makes me happy. I guess you are running a lot prepping for your marathon. You look oober skinny. I hope you are staying healthy and not working TOO hard. It looks like y'all had a lot of fun last weekend at horse races and ... (my home town)?? I cannot believe you took them (hometown activity) and not me. I wanted to go for over 2 years. Oh well... it's okay. I hope you all had fun Well, you can respond or not. Just wanted to say hello because it has been so long since we've talked. I'm not at all saying i'm ready to talk frequently again... just wanted to zip ya some thoughts. Hope all is well. God Bless You" Message 2 " by the way... in case i didn't say so earlier... you do look really good. and I'm very proud of you for all the good that you are doing in your life right now... Now I don't even know how to respond.....but I need advice soon
  6. Please see the letter below that I wrote last night. I have not sent it yet, but I wanted to get your thoughts on whether or not I should. Basically I'm to the point where I feel like there is nothing for me to lose by sending. I feel like I've already lost her and I've come to accept that. On one hand, I feel like since I initiated NC, she probably won't contact me either, so I'm the one that has to initiate communication. On the other hand, I want to give her space like she wants. I don't feel like this letter is intrusive in her space at all, but I wanted to gather some others' thoughts before I send it. Also, if there are any weak or desperate points in the letter, I need to address those as I don't want to come off as being weak nor desperate for her. All I really want her to know is the personal growth I've experienced and that I'm willing to work to make things better again, but that it's ultimately her (and God's) decision. This way, she knows that the ball is in her court. After this message I don't think there is anything else to say to her. "I just wanted to touch base with you to see how you are doing. Everything in my life is going great right now. I’ve really learned a lot about myself throughout this time apart, and I feel like I’ve made some really strong personal growth. I know you’ve said that you’ve learned more things about yourself in recent weeks than you have in years past. I know it’s been hard being apart for me, but I truly have seen the benefit in learning more about myself. Everyone always says “everything happens for a reason,” and it definitely is true. I’ve shared with you the passion for living my life for the Lord, and I’m growing closer with that relationship every day. God has truly opened my eyes to a whole new life. Sometimes we have to take a step back from our day-to-day life and routine to really gain insight on who we are and what we’ve become. I feel like I now know myself, what I became over time, and who I want to be in the future. I’ve learned more of what it takes to be a man. This has really been tough because of my natural ego, but I’ve really tried to learn to be meek. It was really hard for me to accept that I could not fix “us.” What I have done is truly try to figure out where and how things went wrong and things I need to change about myself for my future. Change doesn’t occur overnight as we are all creatures of habit, but a tried and true effort to change can help expedite this process. I’m trying to be proactive in making these positive changes for myself. Nothing about what I’m saying here really has to do with you, so don’t think I’m merely telling you this because I want you to think I’ve changed; our situation just gave me a reality check and made me reevaluate and reexamine myself. I don’t know what’s going on in your life right now. I’ve honestly tried to let you live your life free from my influence or me. It’s been good for me, and hopefully it’s been good for you as well. I hope you are living a carefree, fun loving, worriless, life; if that’s what you want, of course. I hope that you’ve been careful and safe, but I’ve never had to worry about that before, but most of all I hope that you are happy; that’s what matters the most. Remembering when we went on the few dates (concert, movies, dinner) after we broke up, I cringe to think how emotionally immature I acted. Needless to say, I’ve come a long way since then. I’ve learned to give things to God because it’s ultimately in His hands regardless of what I try to do. With the things I’ve learned and hopefully the time away, I feel like we could put things back together with all the excitement, love, passion, hope, faith, and commitment we once had and even then some. It’s not something I can do alone (even as much as I thought I could try earlier), and I know it will not be easy. I guess all I’m really trying to say is that I’m willing to put forth the effort to make things between us wonderful again and keep that same feeling alive. At this point, there would be no way that our relationship could be the same as it was a few months ago. I honestly believe it can be better. Nothing is possible without hard work on both of our parts. I will not push you into making a hasty decision, and I completely respect any decision you make. I know you said you still love me and in the perfect world you would be with me without doubt, fear, or any reservations. I know I can’t take those away with my own free will, but what I can do is be the man that God wants me to be. Right now, you should be having the time of your life without having to worry about serious things like our relationship. I want to give you what you want right now because I respect you as a person and I still love you very much. The thing I don’t want to do is lose contact with you forever. You may be thinking something completely different at this point after our time apart. I don’t really know because we haven’t communicated at all. I understand and respect any decision you make; God truly has a plan and leads us to follow His will for our lives. " What do you think? On a side note, she also has a key to my condo. I didn't give her a key just to do whatever, but I merely had my key on her keyring for convenience whenever we went out in her car, I didn't have to bring my keys. I would never suspect her of ever coming to my place, but nevertheless, I feel like I should ask for it back. I'm sure she knows it's there. The first time we broke up she tried to give it back to me, but I wouldn't take it back. At this point, I'm tempted to ask her to return it, but I don't want to contact her to do that. I could ask her brother who I'm friends with to get it for me. What do you think? Thanks bunches
  7. Thanks so much gipper. I truly thank you for your advice. It's really helpful in my time of need. I just feel like contacting her so badly. When we were still talking and dating for the couple of weeks, it just seemed like we could put it all back together. She even said we needed to take baby steps. I screwed that up by pressing on her to make a decision. Now I feel like I can never put it back together, but I still want to try. Everyone tells me that NC is the best thing to do, but it just seems like the days fly by and we grow apart every day because of that. I feel like and know I need to give her space, but I don't want to give her so much space that she realizes she can live without me and then never comes back. I desperately want her back in my life. It's so tough.
  8. I've been reading all these threads for the past hour or so, and I am actually thrilled that I stumbled upon this message board. Your stories and words have been so encouraging and helped me so much in just the last few minutes. I feel like I should let you in on my situation and get your take on everything. My ex and I dated for 2 years & 4 months. She's in college and I just graduated last year. We met when I was in college and she was in high school, and have dated ever since. I felt all the love and truly thought she was the one for me. Over the past six months or so, the relationship started to fade though. I was consumed by work and she joined a sorority in college which took up most of her time too. We still made time for each other, but for the most part we were always wanting to do something else (not really be with each other). She decided to take a break about 3 months ago. This only lasted 2 weeks and we never really lost contact and I pretty much convinced her to come back. Everything was fine through Thanksgiving & Christmas, but I was in the process of remodeling a condo which took a substantial portion of my time besides work, so I when I had spare time I usually wanted to spend it with her or my guy friends (usually my guy friends though). After Christmas, we went on vacation to Key West for a week, and we were really not all that connected at that point either. It wasn't either of our faults; it just didn't feel right. At the time, I didn't really see it, but now looking back I can see it. The day after we returned, she came over and said that she needed to break up and that she didn't know what for, but that God was putting doubt and fear about us on her heart. I didn't really take her all that serious, so I gave her the space she wanted for about two weeks. We didn't really contact each other, so I didn't worry about it too much. Until she started contacting me again. We started going out on dates again. We did this for about two weeks, and I could tell that she was just "using" me for entertainment. I took her to the movies, restaurants, and even concert, but the whole time it was like we were still disconnected. I constantly seeked answers from her. Were we getting back together? Did she still love me? How long did she need? All the questions I'm sure everyone wants to ask but probably shouldn't. Finally I broke down over the 4th weekend and poured my heart out to her. I told her how much I wanted to be with her and how I had realized all the things I wanted to change and how I felt like we are meant to be together and asked for another chance to make it work, but none of this got me anywhere. All I was trying to do was change her mind, but the only one that could change her mind was herself. At this point I fully realized I could not bear it any longer. I told her I could not see nor talk to her anymore until she figured things out. She said she didn't want to break off contact, but I said that's what is best for me and her. This was 2 1/2 weeks ago. Since then, I've learned so much about myself and what all I did wrong. I (mistakenly) sent her a text on Valentines letting her know I was thinking about her, and she replied the next day. One more point of contact was a long e-mail I sent to her where I basically let her know that I had discovered a lot of things I was doing wrong and I was planning to work on my personal growth and development and that I was sorry for trying to force her to change her mind about us. Basically letting her know that I would no longer interfere with her life (initiating NC for sure here). She responded that she was glad I let her know about it, and that what I was saying was completely right, but she never gave a hint of how she was doing or what was going on in her life. Since then, 1 1/2 weeks ago, I have not heard, nor contacted her one bit. I truly want to talk, but I know it will only make things worse. I've been occupying myself by doing new activities and such, but I still desperately need answers. I also believe there is hope for us to get back together. We come from similar places, share the same aspirations, still love each other, etc. I'm just so lost because I know all the things I did to screw up the relationship, but now I can't go back to change them. She says she just wants to be alone and is enjoying being single, but doesn't want a relationship with me or anyone else. We never lived together, but we did stay nights over at each other's places quite often, so she really has no strings attached to me at all. I feel like she is just wanting to experience college single, but I feel like she is making a mistake by sacrificing our relationship for that. I definitely gave her all the space she needed and never made her feel obligated to do anything other than what she wanted. She was more attached to me at some points, especially when I was super-busy, but now I'm regretting not giving her more attention when I had the chance. Anyway, All this may seem unorganized and random thoughts, but I'm just flowing with what I want to say. I'm open to your comments and suggestions, and I truly appreciate your help. Luke
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