Fell.From.The.Sky

Firstly, I am so so sorry that you had to go through something like that. Its going to take a long time for yo to ever be "ok" with what happened to you. It is totally understandable that your boyfriend just wants to help you, and he probably doesn't know how he is going to help you either! He probably wants to go and find the guy that did it to you and beat the living day lights out of him. It's probably a case of, I really like this girl, how could something this bad have happened to her, I can't stand the fact someone would even DO that, let alone to anyone I care about, I dont know what to do. You say you never dealt with it at the time, which is understandable. But maybe it is time for you to face it? Did you ever report what happened? Maybe you should. Maybe it would help you to "deal". If you really can't stand talking about it all the time with your boyfriend, then you need to have a talk to him, tell him, that you never dealt with, it, you are trying to deal with it, but him talking about it all the time makes you feel uncomfortable. That one day when you are ready, you will be able to talk to him, and reassure him that when you need his help you will ask for it. He just wants to be there for you by the sounds of it. I know it must be hard but you should let him. Maybe you could tell him that now, right now in this conversation if he has any questions you will answer them. It will be hard to do sweetie but it might help put his mind at rest. And if you restrict it to this one conversation, and ask him not to ask you again then perhaps you can both start to move on. I really hope this helps. Take care.

Hey. I'm new here but I normally go on link removed - I suggest having a look on their main site, even if you don't register with the forum. They have a lot of information there and I believe that the email someone mentioned before about the bad things about starting self harm is posted on there too. Also a lot of articles. It is a fantastic site. I wish I had never started - and yet there is a part of me that is glad I did. Because it has helped me through alot, as well as dragged me down. It really does become an addiction and is so incredibly hard to fight it, you sound like you are doing very well - and you should be proud of yourself. Keep doing what you are doing, if you can get past these feelings without starting to cut yourself then you are on the right path. Thing with cutting, for me anyway - is that yes. It relieves the tension, makes you feel better for all of two maybe 5 minutes. But then the guilt creeps in. The feeling of oh crap what am I going to do to hide it this time? You become secretive, and you feel even more alone than you did already, because now you have this thing you need to hide from everyone so they don't take you as a freak. And pretty soon, the one or 2 cuts aren't enough and everything spirals completely out of control. It won't be long before you iuse it to cope with everything, however small it might be, because you have taken to it to solve problems, its almost as though you have forgotten how to deal with normal everyday things. You look at it like a friend, while your friends wonder why you never go out, or why you are acting so strangely, and why you are always wearing long sleeves when its 100 degrees in the shade. Please, just don't start. As hypocritical as it might seem, when I have JUST said there is a part of me that is glad I turned to it....theres a bigger part of me that regrets it and I hate to think of anyone going through it. Avoid it if you possibly can. Take care of yourself. xxx